Pink Dollar Mafia 6

SERIES COMPLETED 2 MAY 2017

 

Doing Business With Fags

A True Story And A Warning 

Number 2

Fags Working In The Business

1.  Once Upon A Time... 

1.   A Gay** professional Acquaintance told FuelMix he was thinking of buying a business in a trendy part of town. FuelMix loves business and asked for more details. Gay Acquaintance said it was a retail service business, in a great location, good cash flow and about 12 employees, mostly fags.** 


2.  Being Sensible And Brutal 

2.  FuelMix’s sharp features clouded over and he warned his Gay Acquaintance of his personal mottoes: 

(1) “Never Do Serious Business With Fags - Unless There Is Major Heterosexual Professional Backup Whom You Can Trust. Tell Your Entire Backup Team You're Dealing With Fags."

(2) "In A Business Deal,  Never Succumb To Sexual Flattery From A Fag Or His Fag Professional Advisers.  They'll Try It At Some Point.  If They Do,  Deal's Off."

(3) "If You Played With This Fag In The Sauna, or his business partner(s) (or his professional advisers),  Deal's Off."

3.  The Deal

3.  Gay Acquaintance proceeded to rattle out the statistics of the business and showed FuelMix the figures. While the figures were not impressive, they had potential with the right management. The cash flow was there and could be sweetened. Gay Acquaintance was going ahead to negotiate the deal.

4.   FuelMix had 2 questions:   

(1)  “Was the seller straight or a fag?
“Straight”, said the gay acquaintance, “and he seems very nice”

(2)  “So..... he’s selling off 12 fag employees AND the business...?
“You could say that” replied gay acquaintance with a grin.

“Interesting”, muttered FuelMix to himself, "what does the seller know about the fags that he's not saying....?      


4.  Uh...Oh...    

5.  The first clue that something was going wrong came early in the Due Diligence. The “very nice” straight seller refused to disclose crucial aspects of the business, particularly employee information. He claimed the fag employees knew about the sale but for some unexplained reason he, and his business broker, were deliberately blocking access to them.

6.   The accounts didn’t seem to gel. Discrepancies abounded. The bookkeeper – who was not an employee, but also a fag - refused to cooperate with FuelMix's Gay Acquaintance and clammed up. Gay Acquaintance pressed on, anxious to do the deal.

7.  FuelMix discovered that the straight seller’s business broker, was a closet fag (but well known for sucking at the sauna gloryholes). FuelMix warned his Gay Acquaintance to get out of the deal - NOW.  It was a snake pit. But having battled this far, Gay Acquaintance wanted to buy the business. He had hopes and dreams. 

8.   When the deal was finally signed, he looked exhausted. FuelMix was concerned.


5.  The Cascading Crash  

9.   From Day One of the new ownership, Gay Acquaintance had nothing but trouble from the 12 employees, especially the fag employees. They did everything from stealing documents and inventory, picking verbal fights with Gay Acquaintance in full view of the clients, instigating clients to call up and abuse Gay Acquaintance over the phone with obscene threats, not showing up for work, bad mouthing Gay Acquaintance to the landlord, refusing to work at all, trashing the premises.

10.  And their reasons? The fag employees alleged that THEY had been promised by the straight seller that he would sell them the business. Considering they were living pay-cheque-to-pay-cheque, how they could have afforded it was anyone’s guess. Secondly, they didn’t like the additional (and perfectly reasonable) “controls” that FuelMix's Gay Acquaintance had put into place:

• changing the locks to ensure that only management had 24 hour access to the premises; 
• tighter cash flow documentation and internal auditing;
• tighter enforcement of working hours and punctuality; 
• increased security. Apparently,  the fag employees were using the premises as a fuck pad and drug party central on weekends.  The cleaners had complained of cocaine dust all over the place;

6.  Not The Afterparty...

11.  The business crashed within weeks of FuelMix's Gay Acquaintance buying it.  It was horrifying to watch. He had done nothing wrong. He had followed the advice of his str8 lawyers and accountants to the letter.  Once they had sorted out the financials, the business was still OK to buy and had the potential to generate positive cash flow.  But his whole str8 professional team had failed to take into account - or perceive - the venomous nature of penniless fags. This behavioural trait doesn't show up on the Income And Expense Statement or the Balance Sheet. These were the fags who lived off the business via their pay cheques, but would destroy it if their prima donna egos and genitals were ruffled by legitimate business controls - or their misguided sense of "entitlement" had been "violated". 

12.  The Gay Acquaintance lost his entire investment in the deal.  He was utterly shattered and distraught.  For a few days, his family kept him on a Suicide Watch. 


7.  What Was Then Discovered...

13.  Subsequently, there appeared to be evidence of collusion between the closet fag business broker, the fag bookkeeper, the straight seller and the fag employees to torpedo the business when the cash had changed hands.

14.   FuelMix told his Gay Acquaintance he would not be surprised if the sale proceeds had been split amongst all of them.

15.   And where are the fag employees now? FuelMix suspects they are still living pay cheque to pay cheque in someone else’s business, fucking and snorting in it on weekends, ready to destroy it at any time.

** Regular readers of this blog will know that FuelMix believes there are mental, emotional and behavioural differences between an independently thinking gay man and a generic urban fag.

Originally published 2006
Amended and Republished 18 April 2014 | 1 May 2017 

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