Why Gay Men Don't Get Fat
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There is only one thing that keeps gay men in shape: fear. Yes, every
gay—at least those of the stereotypical abdominal-obsessed physique
that populates Fire Island and Palm Springs—is brought about because gay
men are afraid that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. If a
gay man is not "serving body" while competing to find a trick or
boyfriend in one of the more muscle-bound climates of gay culture, he
will be sorely shut out. That is why gay men don't get fat, because if
they don't have pecs, guns, and glutes, they're going home alone.
Gay
men, unlike their straight counterparts, don't have the luxury to stay
in "fighting shape" just long enough to find a partner before letting
their bodies fall to shit afterwords. No, gay men have to get buff, get
married, and stay buff. Why? Because of three-ways, obviously. I'm going
to let you in on a little secret: There are countless committed gay
couples out there who like to either play on the side or invite guest
stars into their beds. And you're not going to get any A-list guest
stars if you're giving D-list torso with a four-star gut. Yes, gay men
go to the gym to stay competitive, but since the man-eating marathon
doesn't end after marriage, they just keep on competing and competing
until death do they part.
The funny thing about the gay
competition is that, because men (especially of the gay variety) are so
visually stimulated, the only piece on the chess board that matters is
having that traditional lean body. If straight men are lacking in some
area, they usually make up for it by becoming rich or powerful, things
that some women (see: Real Housewives of Orange County) find
just as attractive as a washboard stomach dusted with natural body hair.
But for gay men, only body will do. If a gay guy is a little short, his
solution is to go to the gym. Got a shitty job? Go to the gym. Busted
in the face? No biggie! Head to the gym and no one will look above your
neck. Totally shy and doesn't socialize well? Gym, baby, gym! A good
body is the only currency in this game.
What also makes this
unique for gay men is one of the other strange quirks of homosexuality.
Gay men are attracted to, essentially, themselves. No straight man wants
to look like a woman (and certainly not the reverse) but gay men find
what they are physically attracted to and often remake their bodies in
the image of their ideal mate. Since society tells us to want
muscle-bound athletes, that's what gays want, and that's what they make
themselves look like in the pursuit of their ideal. If you want to bed
muscles you have to have muscles, if you want to land a twink, you
better be a twink (or at least some other type that is easily cast in
any gay porn movie).
Still, gay men come in all shapes and sizes
(embrace the rainbow, people) but still gay culture and iconography is
largely dominated by the same juiced-out body type (and awful tribal
tattoos) that you'd find on Jersey Shore. While there are
plenty of average-physiqued homosexuals (who barely merit mentioning)
there has been a reaction to all this body fascism over the past so many
years. Yes, the "bear" movement, spearheaded by gay men who are hairier
and chubbier than average, is forever gaining steam. Mostly it's
because these guys gave up on the regular competition and decided to
host a competition of their own. Theirs, instead of relying on protein
shakes and bicep curls, relies on barbecue ribs and beer guts. These men
only socialize (and sexualize) with other men that are as big and burly
as they are. While they might be reversing the normal aesthetic ideals
of gay culture ....... they still discriminate
just as much based on physicality as their circuit party-loving
brethren.
........Many gay men spend their adolescence as outcasts or
misfits, and when they finally get to a place where they can join the
gay culture at large, they react to their years of social solitude by
conforming with the sort of fervor usually reserved for packs of teenage
girls. That means looking the part, which, of course, means joining the
gym and becoming a regular. It has nothing to do with being healthy or
looking good, it has to do with that deep-seated fear that one day you
will wake up and it will be just like high school all over again, with
people hating you or picking on you for being different. Never again!
That
middle-of-the-night terror is not an easy thing to teach, and it's not
really the kind of advice that you can slap a sassy cover photo on and
get millions of people to pay $22 for. Most gay men get it for free, and
now, with this book, you too can be a pariah for years, then enter a
conformist culture of casual sex and glistening bodies, followed by a
lifetime of hookups with your significant other and the waxed dolphins
you pick up on Grindr. That's the secret of how gay men don't get fat.
-----The Real Reason Gay Men Don't Get Fat, Brian Moylan, Gawker.com June 13, 2011
FuelMix says:
1. Yep, sounds about right.
2. See also our post, Obesity And The Fag 5 for how the modern gay bodybuilding culture actually came about.
Originally published 16 June 2011
Amended and Republished 7 May 2017
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