For Whom The Toilet Flushes

A few years back, some gay bars in a western politically correct country, notoriously drug fucked from coast to coast, were the subject of police raids.   It was alleged that the bars were involved in drug dealing.  The bar tenders were arrested.

One of the "outraged" (would there be any other gay reaction..?) bar owners denied any knowledge of drug dealing on his premises and complained that the cops only told him after they’d arrested the bar tender.

Well……um…..yeah, isn’t that the whole purpose of a raid..?

Let’s consider the broader context.  Bar owners , whether in Fagland or Breederville, routinely turn a blind eye to the deals that go down on their premises.  It’s not for nothing that bars have dark corners and cater to a certain crowd.

In white Faglands, not only do drug-fucked fags mill around outside the bar, but so do other types of druggies, salivating, twitching and scratching their open sores.  (That’s how to identify the ones fucked up on meth).  It’s like feeding time at the dog pound, waiting for the keeper to appear.  If it’s Welfare Wednesday and they’ve got a wad of taxpayers dollars they’re looking for a drink and a fix fast.  

Any other day of the week, they’ll haunt customers at nearby  bank ATM machines (banks deliberately place ATM machines near bars and franchised coffee shops)  or offer handjobs or blowjobs to customers  (in the back alley, near the dumpsters) or try and mooch a free drink off a customer – anything to be in a position to hand over the cash to the dealer, once he takes up position inside the bar.

In Fagland bars, the drug deals can happen anywhere in the bar.  They’re quick, fast and synchronized.  The dealer and the fag addict are pros.  For example, if the deal goes down in the toilets, the dealer and the fag addict will occupy 2 separate toilet stalls.  The cash and the stash changes hands under the partition walls.  It’s kinda fun to watch.  It’s also the reason that in certain fag bars, nobody uses the toilet stalls since the “conference rooms” are usually occupied for a “meeting”.

It’s bizarre to think bar tenders don’t know about it.  They know everything because they make it their business to know everything and everyone.  It’s also unrealistic to think they wouldn’t tip off the bar owners.  Whether the owners do anything about it is another matter.  Bar tenders only make a base salary and most of their pay cheque comes in tips. The temptation to let the drug deals go down in return for a cash “referral fee” is very strong especially if it keeps the customers coming in and buying drinks.  From the bar tenders point of view, it’s a Win-Win situation.

As for the bar owners in the West presumably they’re too naïve to realize what a collection of homeless druggies or twitching broke-ass fags with open sores and agitated behavior outside their bar, or in the back alley, actually means..... ?

Oh yeah and the bar owners have yet to figure out why the immigrant janitor keeps complaining he can’t clean the toilets properly.

In Asia, the drug deals in the bars are already going down. GAMs have taken to crystal meth in a big way.   It’s only a matter of time until Meth Mouth syndrome and open sores on the face appear.  Those fags will have to reconsider their profiles on Grindr.  They’ll have to drop “cute”, “masculine” and “manly” and switch to “white-looking yellow trash”.

Originally published [FuelMix deleted the date by mistake]
Amended and Republished 8 August 2018

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG

Dead Man Dancing

1.  The Mega-Gay Dance Parties
2.  Gay Dance Parties Signalling Their Virtue
3.  Gay Media Message On HIV/AIDS Ambiguous 
4.  The Hook Of The Gay Dance Parties
5.  "Manageability"

1.  The Mega-Gay Dance Parties 

1.  There’s no shortage of gay media coverage of the mega-gay dance parties and raves held around the rainbow universe. Ski Week, Fleet Week, White Party, Black And Blue Party, Pride Week etc. Not only do they serve as circuit pilgrimages – the Fag Haj where the recently converted meet the faithful, the faithful meet the true believers and the true believers meet the High Queens and DJ Gods – but they also attract fag celebs, porn stars, porn talent scouts and the assorted ass trash that passes as a wannabe’s entourage.

2.  It’s easy to get swept up in the whole thing – the non-stop partying, the crush of sweaty guys, the dizzying array of bulging muscle, the slick dance moves, that relentless beat, the strobes, losing all sense of time, the blowjobs on the dancefoor – and the chemical and amphetamine canapés so generously offered as communion.


2.  Gay Dance Parties Signalling Their Virtue

1.  Many gay mega-dance parties loudly tout that a portion of their proceeds will go for AIDS care. Sounds hunky dory right..? Until it gets put into context.


3.  Gay Media Message On HIV/AIDS Ambiguous

1.  The gay media message about HIV/AIDS is ambiguous and ambivalent. It has 3 concurrent streams:

2.  First, there was no sign of a vaccine. Now we're told one's either available, or very shortly will be.

3.  Second, AIDS is “manageable” via a smorgasbord of medication. The term “manageable” infuriates FuelMix. It’s a politically correct synonym for coping at less than optimum levels with something chronic. It ignores the wretched physical anguish that accompanies AIDS. Insidiously, it perpetuates the acceptability of human suffering via polite nomenclature. FuelMix has more to say about “manageable” further on in this post.

4.  Third, fags are getting infected at much earlier ages.


4.  The Hook Of The Gay Dance Parties

1.  Gay mega-dance parties are tons of fun. But the warm and fuzzy feeling that fags get by being told that a portion of the proceeds go for AIDS and HIV, are offset by the entrenched culture of drug-taking at those parties. Those drugs are consumed for the sole purpose of evaporating inhibitions and making the fag more sexual. The impaired judgment leads to unsafe practices and the fag gets infected.

2.  So the gay rave is not only a rite of passage, but also a viral roulette game to bet on whether the fag makes it from Twink to Thirty.

3.  But consider this. FuelMix hasn’t seen very much being done about fags and their drug addictions. Why? Because fags have convinced themselves that they are “recreational drug users”. Ergo, there’s no problem.

4.  So, the commonly seen drug-fucked sexual judgment at gay raves is the product that keeps the raves in business, attracts thousands of fags, and provides the perfect opportunity for organizers and sponsors to market their altruistic side by doling out a bit for HIV and AIDS while ignoring the drug issue.

5.  Therefore, the link between addiction and infection becomes extremely profitable and politically correct.


5.  "Manageability"

1.  Back to the issue of “manageability”. Note the similarity between taking a drug cocktail for HIV/AIDS and taking a drug cocktail at raves. Both are for manageability. One is for managing survival. The other is for managing escapism.

Let’s get one thing perfectly clear. FuelMix has nothing against mega-gay raves and after-parties (other than cringing at the idea of being seen downtown in club wear and glow sticks at 8 am by his alarmed office buddies in suits and briefcases).

See also:

• Dead Man Talking.
• Rainbow High

Originally published 9 January 2009
Amended and Republished 2 July 2013 | 6 August 2018 

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG

Adultery

To:

Those gay men who claim to be married or have a boyfriend, or claim to be, or think they are, in a relationship, but are sleeping around:

• with consent of the other partner;
• with the assumed consent of the other partner;  
• without the consent of their partner;
• without disclosing or discussing what they're up to;
• on the basis of "don't ask, don't tell";
• assuming their partner is also sleeping around;
• or just flat out lying about what they're up to;

we present the comments of Sadhguru.  Speaking in perfect English, with the option of English subtitles.  Running time: 6 minutes.



To ensure the correct video loads, refresh the page
Copyright in the video vests in the lawful copyright holders

See also the posts:  

1. Yeah I'm Straight
2. Open Season
3. The Vow
4. The Pact
5. And The Band Stayed On
6. Bi-furcation
7. For Better, For Worse Or Whatever
8. An Ideal.....Compromised 
9. Shot Through The Heart 

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG

Gay Men And Forgiveness 2

It’s not difficult to find a gay man who has been hurt by another gay man. 

Sure, there might be different degrees of hurt. Some offenses were probably more subtle, while others were more blatant and outward. Regardless, they all can leave a mark. 

The reality is that many gay men are carrying past hurt with them day in and day out. The experience and wound gets re-opened each time they think about the look, insult or slur that was thrown their way. Instead of healing, the wound gets sliced open over and over again. 

On the other side, there are gay men out there who continue to hurt other gay men. Their view of the world is narrow and self-absorption is a way of life. Their self is the center of the world and they swing violently throughout the bars, beaches and community, much like a wrecking ball (cue Miley Cyrus). 

All of this creates a recipe for long-lasting grudges, cycles of hurt and monumental barriers to forming a sense of community among gay men. 

Is this presence of skepticism, paranoia and suspicion of gay men toward other gay men an old phenomenon? Or is this new? Is it something that wasn’t ever talked about or acknowledged before or are we facing a brand new beast? 

What I don’t hear a lot within the gay community is the concept of forgiveness. 

Merriam-Webster says to forgive is to “stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong)” and “to stop blaming (someone).” To “stop feeling anger about (something) and “to forgive someone for (something wrong)”. 

While there are certainly pockets and moments of love shown between gay men, there is also burning rage in the hearts of many — especially those who have been hurt time and again. 

Both Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi spoke strongly about forgiving others. King said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” And Gandhi boldly proclaimed, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”. 

It’s safe to say that most gay men have been hurt by other gay men at some point in their lives. What would it look like for you to forgive the gay men that have hurt you in your life? Is it possible for you to let go of that hurt you’ve been carrying around for days weeks, months or even decades? Do you believe reconciliation is even possible? 

Maybe forgiveness is a muscle we’ve allowed to get flabby and weak. Maybe we’ve been holding out for an apology from our perpetrator that may never arrive. The truth is that when we refuse to forgive others, we only imprison ourselves. 

Every gay man reading this gets to decide: Will I carry anger or love in my heart? You can’t carry both. 

Yes, we need to educate our fellow gay men and be bold in confronting racism, classism, ageism and other -isms that too often go unaddressed in our community. 

I fear, however, that without an element of forgiveness, our posture toward one another will continue to harden. The distance and divide will increase and the toxic words we throw toward one another will become increasingly sharp and pointed. 

There’s very little hope of cultivating community and friendships when we can’t stand one another and when we won’t forgive. 

Forgiveness is messy. It’s complicated. Maybe we’re afraid to air our “dirty laundry” to the larger world. If we’re real honest with ourselves, gay men are not at all immune to hating one another. Perhaps a part of you hates other gay men in this very moment. 

While writing this, I came across these powerful words from Archbishop Desmond Tutu:

Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies or our loved ones are not about pretending that things are other than they are. It is not about patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong. True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking, but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end, only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.

Will gay men step forward to choose forgiveness? Will I? Will you? What will be your first step toward forgiving your fellow gay men?..................


-----"What If Gay Men Forgave One Another?",  by Josh Hersh, July 17, 2014, The Blog, Huffington Post 

See also: Gay Men And Forgiveness 1

Babies

Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:


When the baby is old enough, they send it to school, where it spends twelve years being taught lies about how the world works so that one day it will be able to watch CNN and say “Yes, this makes perfect sense” instead of “This is ridiculous” or “Why does this whole entire thing seem completely fake?” or “I want to punch Chris Cuomo in the throat.” 

The baby is taught history, which is the study of the ancient, leftover propaganda from whichever civilization happened to win the wars in a given place at a given time. 

The baby is taught geography, so that later on when its country begins bombing another country, the baby’s country won’t be embarrassed if its citizens cannot find that country on a globe. 

The baby is taught obedience, and the importance of performing meaningless tasks in a timely manner. This prepares the baby for the half century of pointless gear-turning it will be expected to undertake after graduation. 

The baby is taught that it lives in a free country, with a legitimate electoral system which facilitates meaningful elections of actual representatives in a real government. It is never taught that those elections, representatives and government are all owned and operated by the very rich, who use them to ensure policies which make them even richer while keeping everyone else as poor as possible so that they won’t have to share political power. It is never taught that highly secretive intelligence and defense agencies form alliances with those rich people to advance murderous and exploitative agendas for profit and power. It is never taught that the things it sees on television are mostly lies. 

The baby is smoothly, seamlessly funneled from uterus to full-time employment through this system, often with a little religion mixed in to really drive home the importance of obedience and meekness and the nobility of poverty. From there the various screens in the baby’s life take over its continuing education, tightening the bolts of the propaganda cage and making sure that baby keeps turning those gears without asking too many questions. This continuing education continues until the baby dies in a mass shooting or nuclear holocaust, or of cancer from trying to numb the pain of living with cigarettes, or of liver failure from trying to numb the pain of living with alcohol, or of suicide because it just couldn’t take it anymore, or from its body and brain simply falling apart after a long, pointless, immensely unsatisfying life. 

So now you’ve got all these babies wandering around, just as confused and clueless as the day they were born, thinking thoughts they were told to think and believing beliefs they were told to believe. Some are better at feigning confidence than others, but one baby’s guess about what’s going on is really as good as the next baby’s. The only thing any of them have ever known is the stories that they have been told. 

So those stories get treated as something very important. All they’ve been taught to believe from womb to present moment tells them that it’s very important to keep turning those gears and walking in the same direction as all the other babies, so if all of a sudden one baby steps out of line and starts saying things like “Uhh, guys? We’re marching off a cliff of ecocide and omnicide. Maybe we should turn around?” or “It’s all a lie! We’re being exploited and deceived by an Orwellian oligarchy!”, that baby will usually sound crazy to all the other babies. 

“Shut up you crazy conspiracy theorist baby,” they might say.“We all agree on our story about what’s going on. Our parents told us the same story, our teachers told us the same story, the news man on TV told us the same story, and the politicians told us the same story. We can’t all be wrong!”

But of course they can, and they are.  All it takes is a dominant power structure wielding sufficient control of the stories that all the babies are told. 

Imagine, though, if one of the other babies stepped forward and said, 

“You know what? Maybe that baby is right. None of the stories we’re told have ever added up.  

How come voting never seems to make much difference no matter who we elect and our lives stay shitty even though we always vote for the politician who promises to make them better? 

How come the news man on TV is always telling us about a New Official Bad Guy we need to go bomb, and how come it always happens the same way each time?   

And how come they can always afford all those big fancy bombs while we’re getting poorer and poorer?” 

Then the story of total agreement would be disrupted. If another baby steps forward and does the same thing the story loses even more weight. If those babies get better at communicating with other babies, say with the invention of the internet, more and more babies start questioning the official stories they’ve been told since birth, and before long there’s no more herd mentality keeping all the babies moving in the same direction. 

But those gears still need turning if the rich are going to remain rich and powerful. So they come up with even more stories to restore authority to their old stories about what’s going on. Stories about Russian propaganda, stories about fake news, stories about “useful idiots”, a term applied to babies who believe different stories from the ones they were taught by their parents and teachers and the news man. They do this because they know if they no longer have widespread consensus giving the illusion of credibility to their stories, they’re going to have to start relying on facts and evidence.

And that won’t go well for them at all. 

And now the babies are growing restless. The babies are growing cranky. The old lullabies aren’t keeping them asleep anymore.

The babies are waking up. The babies are growing up. Soon the babies won’t be babies anymore. Soon the babies will be able to tell their own stories. True stories. What will happen to those gears then? What will happen to the machines they power? The answer to that question is why the rich have been fighting so hard for so long to sing the old lullabies, and keep the babies asleep.

-----"Babies", by Caitlin Johnstone, Medium.com July 4, 2018


FuelMix says:  She's right.


Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG

The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 5

Mainland Chinese Twinks In Gay Scat Porn

At first, we didn't believe what we were being told over the last few months.

We'd written a four-part series on the rise of gay scat porn on the web (and by extension, in real time) speculating on the reasons for its popularity in the West and why conventional Faggotry couldn't do a thing about it.  The series proved surprisingly riveting for readers.

Our friendly GAM-Throats-On-The-Street started whispering something we were not expecting to hear........initially, we dismissed it as gossip.

Then, proof was provided on the street via their smartphones and more proof via memorized URLs recited to us.  We checked on our phone and on our laptop and BANG...!! there it was.

We can only put it down to China's emergence on the world stage:

Mainland Chinese gay twinks are participating in and uploading very raunchy gay scat porn on certain sites, notably Tumblr, Pornhub and Xtube.  These are high resolution amateur videos.

And we do men Very Raunchy.  This is full-on Asian gay raunch which will give Japanese gay porn producers, traditionally the masters of kink, S&M and raunch, several reasons to sit up and take notice.

Apparently there's even a slang-on-the-street for this Mainland Chinese niche genre:  Yellow River and Brown Rice.

It is rumoured that since Grindr is now Chinese-owned and since Mainland Chinese gay hookup sites like Blued are extremely popular with the 18 - 25 year olds, that being gay and discussing, advertising or hooking up - and filming -  for what would have been taboo sex, is now out in the open.

From what we can tell, wwwaaaaaaayyyyyy out in the open.

See also:

• The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 1
• The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 2
• The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 3
• The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 4

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG 

Shitty By The Bay 3

COMPLETED 20 JUNE 2018

1.  FuelMix And San Francisco 15 Years Ago
2.  How The Whites Reacted
3.  FuelMix Refused To Go Back To San Francisco
4.  What Pilots Say About San Francisco 
5.  Zero Hedge And Reddit On San Francisco 2018
6.  FuelMix Says


Readers may be asking, "Why is FuelMix bashing San Francisco...?"


1.  FuelMix And San Francisco 15 Years Ago

1.  Over 15 years ago, we saw it coming......the Perfect Storm of massive wealth inequality, unaffordable housing, homelessness, rigid Political Correctness that stifled free and accurate speech or decisive action - and more importantly stifled law enforcement - chronic budget deficits, high taxes, an entrenched Left Wing (actually what we termed, "Liberal-Fascist") city government, a detoriorating downtown core where the rot would ripple outwards, vandalism, drug use, crime, startling unsanitation and climbing disease rates.


2.  How The Whites Reacted

1.  Over 15 years ago, we raised our observations with (allegedly educated and professional) West Coast whites that something was brewing in San Francisco which would badly tarnish the city's reputation within the US and internationally and what did we get...?  

"OMG FuelMix..!! you're so fuckin' homophobic, racist and anti-white...!!...There's nothing wrong with being a Liberal and pursuing policies of tolerance, harm reduction and a compassionate society.  Diversity and tolerance are part of our heritage and lifestyle......Get with it man...!! Stop being so fuckin' dictatorial and demanding social and financial discipline. If you don't like the place, you should leave...!"

 3.  FuelMix Refused To Go Back To San Francisco

1.  We refused to visit San Francisco after that.  Other than a major construction boom (courtesy of the massive wealth inequality to which we alluded above), we haven't missed much - aside from the now painfully obvious shit and drug infested 4th World Ghetto that large chunks of the city have turned into.

2.  The briefly-famous San Francisco Shit Map (which won a hackathon and, according to its creator, was intended to draw attention to homelessness) has allegedly not been updated since 2015.  It was used as political ammunition by Right Wing conservatives to highlight the falling urban standards.

3.  However, it appears that a new SF Shit Map is required in the light of more recent comments below.


4.  What Pilots Say About San Francisco  

1.  Here's what Cathay Pacific pilots who fly HKG - SFO plus Hong Kong Airlines pilots who started the HKG - SFO route in March 2018, told us over the last few weeks:

• "Looks like a preview of a Mad Max film..."
• "I'm 6 foot 2 and built - and I don't feel safe..."
• "The good news is that the shit won't be hitting the fan....most of it is on the sidewalks.."
• "The drug needles and syringes on the streets are overwhelming..."
• "Gotta keep looking behind me when I walk around downtown..."
• "My girlfriend refused to go out alone..." 
• "We stay in the hotel in the evenings....less hassle.."
• "Fuck....that stink of shit and piss.....it's everywhere.....these guys are pissing on the outside walls and plate glass windows of street-level restaurants and nobody says or does a thing..." 
• "Just fuckin' creepy...it's absolutely surreal..."

5.  Zero Hedge And Reddit On San Francisco 2018

1.  Here's the latest article by Zero Hedge:

San Francisco - a Democratic stronghold known for cable cars, quaint architecture and its diverse culture, has become a bastion of squalor and crime as city dwellers and visitors alike dodge aggressive, drug-addled vagrants. And it's beginning to scare the tourists...

-----"Terrified" San Francisco Tourists Shocked by Aggressive Vagrants, Discarded Needles, Dead Bodies, ZeroHedge 17 June 2018

2.  Here's another quote from the above article:

"You see things on the streets that are just not humane," Kevin Carroll, executive director of the Hotel Council of San Francisco told The Chronicle'....... in April. "People come into hotels saying, 'What is going on out there?' They're just shocked. ... People say, 'I love your city, I love your restaurants, but I'll never come back.'"

 3.  The article then went on to quote some users on Reddit:

It's pretty normal. I'm honestly hoping tourists will realize how shitty this city has become and stop coming. Maybe the loss of income will finally push the city to stop allowing the rampant drug dealing and homeless people treating the entire city like their toilet. You would think a city that depends so heavily on tourism and conventions for the bulk of their income would put more effort into maintaining a certain standard, but there is rampant drug dealing out in the open in some of the most heavily tourist areas. The city know about it, they just don't care. 

4.  Then it quoted a separate Reddit thread:

"Why is this city so terrifying (Canadian here)
I've wanted to visit SF my entire life and I finally make it here and my goddddd it's terrifying.  Anyone have any advice for a tourist aside from 'don't be such a pussy'

5.  Here's some more from the same article:

"The streets are filthy. There's trash everywhere. It's disgusting," [said]Joe D'Alessandro, president of S.F. Travel in April. "I've never seen any other city like this — the homelessness, dirty streets, drug use on the streets, smash-and-grabs."

The city, which hands out up to 4.8 million syringes each year, has struggled to figure out how to keep streets clean and safe for residents, while accommodating a growing homeless population and longstanding HIV and Hepatitis C epidemics. There are roughly 16,000 residents in San Francisco with HIV, and 13,000 with Hep C.

6.  It was estimated by the City Health Director that in 2016, San Francisco had 22,000 intravenous drug users and that the city hands out 400,000 needles every month. Multiply that by 12 and that's where the figure of 4.8 million syringes quoted above, comes from.

7.  In other words, as the San Francisco Gate reported on 13 June 2018, most of the needles littering the streets..........came from the Department of Public Health's Needle Exchange Program. Whilst it's called an Exchange program, there are no real rules for their return (apparently there are 13 syringe access and disposal sites).

8.  Just let all those stats sink in for a minute.....Then watch this video (approx 6 minutes):



To ensure the correct video loads, refresh the page
Copyright in the video vests in the lawful copyright owners

6.  FuelMix Says

1.  Yes fags, this post really is about FuelMix saying, "I told you so".  We're not gloating at the abject human misery, the rising anger of the people who live there or the shock sustained by tourists.

2.  We're gloating because all those years ago, we walked around with our eyes wide open and had the courage to call it like we saw it -  past the shrieks of denial and accusations of homophobia and racism.  We lost acquaintances because of what we saw and predicted.

3.  Did we see San Francisco's future then...?  Probably.  But anyone else could have seen it, had they opened their eyes and their minds and shut down the babble of Political Correctness.

See also:
Shitty By The Bay 1
Shitty By The Bay 2

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG 

The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness 6

Sent in by a reader today:

Hi FM

Liked your re-post of the HuffPost article.  In addition to highlighting the problem of loneliness in the gay community, it completely destroys the presumption (put forward by brainwashed technophiles and brain dead snow flake millennials) that greater openness and connectivity will make everything better.

Have a good week
Rxxxxxx


FuelMix says:

1.  Amen brother.

2.  We feel particularly vindicated by this series that our assertion that "Fagland" was not only a geographical area, but also a state of mind, was accurate.  We won't get into the flak and abuse we received from (white) fags when we first declared it years ago.

3.  We feel sad when we think about the number of (white) gay twinks we advised to move out of the gay ghetto to save their lives. At the time, FuelMix was on the West Coast.

4.  For many of these twinks, living in Fagland was the first time they'd been away from home and they were desperate to live with other gay men and sample "the lifestyle".  But they were horribly wounded emotionally by the outright hostility, lack of basic civility, the belittling and the rejections.  Being far from home (or too embarrassed to return home) they felt lonely and unwanted.  "The community" they craved, was a pressure cooker of fear and loathing.  The only way out was drugs, drug-fueled risky sex and / or suicide.



To ensure the correct video loads, refresh the page
Copyright in the video vests in the lawful copyright holder

5.  In the post, Here And Hereafter 2, we referred to this phenomenon:

2.  An outrageous claim fags make is that they are a “community”. That’s a lie. A “community” implies cohesion. How can there be cohesion when the community consists of so many individually wounded, fractured psyches? FuelMix has often been left speechless at the numbers of deeply lonely, sexually abused, fundamentally unhappy fags, some quite young, for whom living in Fagland (either as a postal code or a state of mind) is a daily accumulation of financial, social and emotional degradation culminating in a fundamental lack of self-worth.

 6.  When we suggested to the twinks that they move out of the gay ghetto, they were initially shocked and accused us of being anti-white and homophobic.  It wasn't until much later that they finally got what we were saying......if you want to be happy and successful on your terms (and stay alive) you have to be homophobic -  according to the standards of conventional Faggotry.  In other words, your life depends on you being a gay man on your terms, not on others.

7.  One of the advantages Asian cities have over the west, is that there are far less geographically defined gay ghettos.  We maintain that's a positive sign and that the emergence of the ghetto should be discouraged.

8.  That still leaves unresolved the issue of the "Fagland mentality", the lack of self-worth and the drug use which can - and does - operate independently of the ghetto's existence.  We don't claim to have the answers - although we blatantly suggest looking at our landmark series, Principles of Faggotry, which apparently pissed off (and delighted) fags. 


Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG

The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness 5

Side headings, underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:   

8.  Why Are Gay Men So Mean To Each Other..?  Two Reasons

First Reason

The researchers I spoke to explained that gay guys inflict this kind of damage on each other for two main reasons. The first, and the one I heard most frequently, is that gay men are shitty to each other because, basically, we’re men. 

“The challenges of masculinity get magnified in a community of men,” Pachankis says. “Masculinity is precarious. It has to be constantly enacted or defended or collected. We see this in studies: You can threaten masculinity among men and then look at the dumb things they do. They show more aggressive posturing, they start taking financial risks, they want to punch things.” 

This helps explain the pervasive stigma against feminine guys in the gay community.......... most gay men report that they want to date someone masculine, and that they wished they acted more masculine themselves. Maybe that’s because, historically, masculine men have been more able to blend into straight society. Or maybe it’s internalized homophobia: Feminine gay men are still stereotyped as bottoms, the receptive partner in anal sex. 

A two-year longitudinal study found that the longer gay men were out of the closet, the more likely they were to become versatile or tops. Researchers say this kind of training, deliberately trying to appear more masculine and taking on a different sex role, is just one of the ways gay men pressure each other to attain “sexual capital,” the equivalent of going to the gym or plucking our eyebrows.

“The only reason I started working out was so I would seem like a feasible top,” Martin says. When he first came out, he was convinced that he was too skinny, too effeminate, that bottoms would think he was one of them. “So I started faking all this hyper-masculine behavior. My boyfriend noticed recently that I still lower my voice an octave whenever I order drinks. That’s a remnant of my first few years out of the closet, when I thought I had to speak in this Christian Bale Batman voice to get dates.” 

Grant, a 21-year-old who grew up on Long Island and now lives in Hell’s Kitchen, says he used to be self-conscious about the way he stood—hands on hips, one leg slightly cocked like a Rockette. So, his sophomore year, he started watching his male teachers for their default positions, deliberately standing with his feet wide, his arms at his sides. 

These masculinity norms exert a toll on everyone, even their perpetrators. Feminine gay men are at higher risk of suicide, loneliness and mental illness. Masculine gay men, for their part, are more  anxious, have more risky sex and use drugs and tobacco with greater frequency. One study investigating why living in the gay community increases depression found that the effect only showed up in masculine gay guys.


Second Reason

The second reason the gay community acts as a unique stressor on its members is not about why we reject each other, but how. 

In the last 10 years, traditional gay spaces—bars, nightclubs, bathhouses—have begun to disappear, and have been replaced by social media. At least 70 percent of gay men now use hookup apps like Grindr and Scruff to meet each other. .............

.........the real effect of the apps is quieter, less remarked-upon and, in a way, more profound: For many of us, they have become the primary way we interact with other gay people..... 

The worst thing about the apps, though, and why they’re relevant to the health disparity between gay and straight men, is not just that we use them a lot. It is that they are almost perfectly designed to underline our negative beliefs about ourselves. In interviews ........ conducted with gay men in 2015, he found that 90 percent said they wanted a partner who was tall, young, white, muscular and masculine. For the vast majority of us who barely meet one of those criteria, much less all five, the hookup apps merely provide an efficient way to feel ugly.........

It’s worse for gay men of color. Vincent, who runs counseling sessions with black and Latino men through the San Francisco Department of Public Health, says the apps give racial minorities two forms of feedback: Rejected (“Sorry, I’m not into black guys”) and fetishized (“Hi, I’m really into black guys.”) Paihan, a Taiwanese immigrant in Seattle, shows me his Grindr inbox. It is, like mine, mostly hellos he has sent out to no reply. One of the few messages he received just says, “Asiiiaaaan.”  

None of this is new, of course. Walt Odets, a psychologist who’s been writing about social isolation since the 1980s, says that gay men used to be troubled by the bathhouses in the same way they are troubled by Grindr now. The difference he sees in his younger patients is that “if someone rejected you at a bathhouse, you could still have a conversation afterwards. Maybe you end up with a friend out of it, or at least something that becomes a positive social experience. On the apps, you just get ignored if someone doesn’t perceive you as a sexual or romantic conquest.” The gay men I interviewed talked about the dating apps the same way straight people talk about Comcast: It sucks, but what are you gonna do? “You have to use the apps in smaller cities,” says Michael Moore, a psychologist at Yale. “They serve the purpose of a gay bar. But the downside is that they put all this prejudice out there.”

What the apps reinforce, or perhaps simply accelerate, is the adult version of what Pachankis calls the Best Little Boy in the World Hypothesis. As kids, growing up in the closet makes us more likely to concentrate our self-worth into whatever the outside world wants us to be—good at sports, good at school, whatever. As adults, the social norms in our own community pressure us to concentrate our self-worth even further—into our looks, our masculinity, our sexual performance. But then, even if we manage to compete there, even if we attain whatever masc-dom-top ideal we’re looking for, all we’ve really done is condition ourselves to be devastated when we inevitably lose it. 

-----"Together Alone" The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness", by Michael Hobbes, Huffington Post, 2 March 2017

The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness 4

Side headings, underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:  

6. The Reality Of The Gay Community : Gay Men Are Mean

............“There are people who have lots of sex because it’s fun, and that’s fine. But I kept trying to wring it out like a rag to get something out of it that wasn’t in there—social support, or companionship. It was a way of not dealing with my own life. And I kept denying it was a problem because I had always told myself, ‘I’ve come out, I moved to San Francisco, I’m done, I did what I had to do as a gay person.’”

For decades, this is what psychologists thought, too: that the key stages in identity formation for gay men all led up to coming out, that once we were finally comfortable with ourselves, we could begin building a life within a community of people who’d gone through the same thing. But over the last 10 years, what researchers have discovered is that the struggle to fit in only grows more intense. A study published in 2015 found that rates of anxiety and depression were higher in men who had recently come out than in men who were still closeted.

“It’s like you emerge from the closet expecting to be this butterfly and the gay community just slaps the idealism out of you,” Adam says. When he first started coming out, he says, “I went to West Hollywood because I thought that’s where my people were. But it was really horrifying. It’s made by gay adults, and it’s not welcoming for gay kids. You go from your mom’s house to a gay club where a lot of people are on drugs and it’s like, this is my community?  It's like the fucking jungle."

“I came out when I was 17, and I didn’t see a place for myself in the gay scene,” says Paul, a software developer. “I wanted to fall in love like I saw straight people do in movies. But I just felt like a piece of meat. It got so bad that I used to go to the grocery store that was 40 minutes away instead of the one that was 10 minutes away just because I was so afraid to walk down the gay street.”

The word I hear from Paul, from everyone, is “re-traumatized.” You grow up with this loneliness, accumulating all this baggage, and then you arrive in the Castro or Chelsea or Boystown thinking you’ll finally be accepted for who you are. And then you realize that everyone else here has baggage, too. All of a sudden it’s not your gayness that gets you rejected. It’s your weight, or your income, or your race. “The bullied kids of our youth,” Paul says, “grew up and became bullies themselves.”

“Gay men in particular are just not very nice to each other,” ..........“In pop culture, drag queens are known for their takedowns and it’s all ha ha ha. But that meanness is almost pathological. All of us were deeply confused or lying to ourselves for a good chunk of our adolescence. But it’s not comfortable for us to show that to other people. So we show other people what the world shows us, which is nastiness.” 

Every gay man I know carries around a mental portfolio of all the shitty things other gay men have said and done to him. I arrived to a date once and the guy immediately stood up, said I was shorter than I looked in my pictures and left. Alex, a fitness instructor in Seattle, was told by a guy on his swim team, “I’ll ignore your face if you fuck me without a condom.” Martin, a Brit living in Portland, has gained maybe 10 pounds since he moved there and got a Grindr message—on Christmas Day—that said: “You used to be so sexy. It’s a shame you messed it up.”


7.  The Stress Of Living In The Gay Community 

..........Several studies have found that living in gay neighborhoods predicts higher rates of risky sex and meth use and less time spent on other community activities like volunteering or playing sports. A 2009 study suggested that gay men who were more linked to the gay community were less satisfied with their own romantic relationships.  

“Gay and bisexual men talk about the gay community as a significant source of stress in their lives,” Pachankis says. The fundamental reason for this, he says, is that “in-group discrimination” does more harm to your psyche than getting rejected by members of the majority. It’s easy to ignore, roll your eyes and put a middle finger up to straight people who don’t like you because, whatever, you don’t need their approval anyway. Rejection from other gay people, though, feels like losing your only way of making friends and finding love. Being pushed away from your own people hurts more because you need them more.

-----"Together Alone" The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness", by Michael Hobbes, Huffington Post, 2 March 2017

UPLOADING MORE...
         

The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness 3

Side headings, underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix: 

5.  Minority Stress

The term researchers use to explain this phenomenon is “minority stress.” In its most direct form, it’s pretty simple: Being a member of a marginalized group requires extra effort. When you’re the only woman at a business meeting, or the only black guy in your college dorm, you have to think on a level that members of the majority don’t. If you stand up to your boss, or fail to, are you playing into stereotypes of women in the workplace? If you don’t ace a test, will people think it’s because of your race? Even if you don’t experience overt stigma, considering these possibilities takes its toll over time. 

For gay people, the effect is magnified by the fact that our minority status is hidden. Not only do we have to do all this extra work and answer all these internal questions when we’re 12, but we also have to do it without being able to talk to our friends or parents about it.

John Pachankis, a stress researcher at Yale, says the real damage gets done in the five or so years between realizing your sexuality and starting to tell other people. Even relatively small stressors in this period have an outsized effect—not because they’re directly traumatic, but because we start to expect them. “No one has to call you queer for you to adjust your behavior to avoid being called that,”...........

“The trauma for gay men is the prolonged nature of it,” says William Elder, a sexual trauma researcher and psychologist. “If you experience one traumatic event, you have the kind of PTSD that can be resolved in four to six months of therapy. But if you experience years and years of small stressors—little things where you think, Was that because of my sexuality?—that can be even worse.”............

Growing up gay, it seems, is bad for you in many of the same ways as growing up in extreme poverty. A 2015 study found that gay people produce less cortisol, the hormone that regulates stress. Their systems were so activated, so constantly, in adolescence that they ended up sluggish as grownups, says Katie McLaughlin, one of the study’s co-authors. In 2014, researchers compared straight and gay teenagers on cardiovascular risk. They found that the gay kids didn’t have a greater number of “stressful life events” (i.e. straight people have problems, too), but the ones they did experience inflicted more harm on their nervous systems. 

Annesa Flentje, a stress researcher at the University of California, San Francisco, specializes in the effect of minority stress on gene expression. All those little punches combine with our adaptations to them, she says, and become “automatic ways of thinking that never get challenged or turned off, even 30 years later.” Whether we recognize it or not, our bodies bring the closet with us into adulthood. “We don’t have the tools to process stress as kids, and we don’t recognize it as trauma as adults,” says John.........

But minority stress doesn’t fully explain why gay men have such a wide array of health problems. Because while the first round of damage happens before we come out of the closet, the second, and maybe more severe, comes afterward.

-----"Together Alone" The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness", by Michael Hobbes, Huffington Post, 2 March 2017

 
UPLOADING MORE...

The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness 2

Side headings, underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

4.  Why Do Gay Men Keep Killing Themselves..?

Travis Salway, a researcher with the BC Centre for Disease Control in Vancouver, has spent the last five years trying to figure out why gay men keep killing themselves.

“The defining feature of gay men used to be the loneliness of the closet,” he says. “But now you’ve got millions of gay men who have come out of the closet and they still feel the same isolation.”........ 

..... he was a social worker and epidemiologist and.....was struck by the growing distance between his straight and gay friends. He started to wonder if the story he had always heard about gay men and mental health was incomplete.

When the disparity first came to light in the ’50s and ’60s, doctors thought it was a symptom of homosexuality itself, just one of many manifestations of what was, at the time, known as “sexual inversion.” As the gay rights movement gained steam, though, homosexuality disappeared from the DSM [Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders] and the explanation shifted to trauma. Gay men were being kicked out of their own families, their love lives were illegal. Of course they had alarming rates of suicide and depression. “That was the idea I had, too,” Salway says, “that gay suicide was a product of a bygone era, or it was concentrated among adolescents who didn’t see any other way out.” 

And then he looked at the data. The problem wasn’t just suicide, it wasn’t just afflicting teenagers and it wasn’t just happening in areas stained by homophobia. He found that gay men everywhere, at every age, have higher rates of cardiovascular disease, cancer, incontinence, erectile dysfunction,⁠ allergies and asthma—you name it, we got it. In Canada, Salway eventually discovered, more gay men were dyingfrom suicide than from AIDS, and had been for years. (This might be the case in the U.S. too, he says, but no one has bothered to study it.)

“We see gay men who have never been sexually or physically assaulted with similar post-traumatic stress symptoms to people who have been in combat situations or who have been raped,” says Alex Keuroghlian, a psychiatrist at the Fenway Institute’s Center for Population Research in LGBT Health. 

Gay men are, as Keuroghlian puts it, “primed to expect rejection.” We’re constantly scanning social situations for ways we may not fit into them. We struggle to assert ourselves. We replay our social failures on a loop. 

The weirdest thing about these symptoms, though, is that most of us don't see them as symptoms at all.  Since he looked into the data, Salway has started interviewing gay men who attempted suicide and survived.

"When you ask them why they tried to kill themselves," he says, "most of them don't mention anything at all about being gay."  Instead, he says, they tell him they're having relationship problems, career problems, money problems.  "They don't feel that their sexuality is the most salient aspect of their lives.  And yet, they're an order of magnitude more likely to kill themselves."

-----"Together Alone" The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness", by Michael Hobbes, Huffington Post, 2 March 2017

UPLOADING MORE...
 

The Epidemic Of Gay Loneliness 1

Side headings, underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

1.  Introduction

“I used to get so excited when the meth was all gone.” 

This is my friend Jeremy. 

“When you have it,” he says, “you have to keep using it. When it’s gone, it’s like, ‘Oh good, I can go back to my life now.’ I would stay up all weekend and go to these sex parties and then feel like shit until Wednesday. About two years ago I switched to cocaine because I could work the next day.”
 
Jeremy is telling me this from a hospital bed, six stories above Seattle. He won’t tell me the exact circumstances of the overdose, only that a stranger called an ambulance and he woke up here......
 
“The drugs were a combination of boredom and loneliness,” he says. “I used to come home from work exhausted on a Friday night and it’s like, ‘Now what?’ So I would dial out to get some meth delivered and check the Internet to see if there were any parties happening. It was either that or watch a movie by myself.”

Jeremy is not my only gay friend who’s struggling. There’s Malcolm, who barely leaves the house except for work because his anxiety is so bad. There’s Jared, whose depression and body dysmorphia have steadily shrunk his social life down to me, the gym and Internet hookups. And there was Christian, the second guy I ever kissed, who killed himself at 32, two weeks after his boyfriend broke up with him. Christian went to a party store, rented a helium tank, started inhaling it, then texted his ex and told him to come over, to make sure he’d find the body.


2.  Divergence Between Str8s And Gays

For years I’ve noticed the divergence between my straight friends and my gay friends. While one half of my social circle has disappeared into relationships, kids and suburbs, the other has struggled through isolation and anxiety, hard drugs and risky sex.

None of this fits the narrative I have been told, the one I have told myself. Like me, Jeremy did not grow up bullied by his peers or rejected by his family. He can’t remember ever being called a faggot. He was raised in a West Coast suburb.....

Gay people are now, depending on the study, between 2 and 10 times more likely than straight people to take their own lives. We’re twice as likely to have a major depressive episode. ............ Despite all the talk of our "chosen families", gay men have fewer close friends than straight people or gay women. In a survey of care-providers at HIV clinics, one respondent told researchers: “It’s not a question of them not knowing how to save their lives. It’s a question of them knowing if their lives are worth saving.” ........ 


3.  Gay Marriage Equality And Unfulfilment

“Marriage equality and the changes in legal status were an improvement for some gay men,” says Christopher Stults, a researcher at New York University who studies the differences in mental health between gay and straight men. “But for a lot of other people, it was a letdown. Like, we have this legal status, and yet there’s still something unfulfilled.” 

This feeling of emptiness, it turns out, is not just an American phenomenon. In the Netherlands, where gay marriage has been legal since 2001, gay men remain three times more likely to suffer from a mood disorder than straight men, and 10 times more likely to engage in “suicidal self-harm.” In Sweden, which has had civil unions since 1995 and full marriage since 2009, men married to men have triple the suicide rate of men married to women. 

All of these unbearable statistics lead to the same conclusion: It is still dangerously alienating to go through life as a man attracted to other men. The good news, though, is that epidemiologists and social scientists are closer than ever to understanding all the reasons why.

-----"Together Alone" The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness", by Michael Hobbes, Huffington Post, 2 March 2017

Shitty By The Bay 2

When one has a rabidly left-wing, ultra-liberal, politically correct agenda as the method for running a city, the results are bound to be disastrous, retarded and flat-out hilarious.

In Shitty By The Bay 1, we wrote about how fast San Francisco, allegedly one of the wealthiest cities anywhere (and currently with skyrocketing property prices), was going downhill (pun intended) fast with unprecedented amounts of homelessness, crime, vandalism, urban blight and risk of disease.

And now, at San Francisco Airport, ride-sharing companies like Uber and Lyft, are NOT allowed to pick up passengers at Arrivals. (Presumably, that is to protect the local Taxi companies).

Read that again.

The result...?

-----"San Francisco Airport Lunacy Causing Huge Traffic Congestion", MishTalk, Global Economic Analysis 5 June 2018

So now, Uber and Lyft:

Pick up arriving passengers from Departures.

And departing passengers are dropped off at Arrivals.

The result...? Chaos at the Departures level (apparently blamed on Uber and Lyft) and an underused Arrivals level because few people wish to pay the city's bureaucratic solution of Two-Tiered Taxi rates.

In other words, pay premium prices for curbside access (an additional US3.80) and a lower fare if you schlepp your luggage and walk to the central garage.

Or pay nothing, if you just go upstairs to Departures and hail Uber and Lyft. Of course, Uber and Lyft would be there, since why would they do a return journey to town empty..?

Gotta love Liberals....

We have no political or religious affiliations.

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG 

You're Douching Wrong

The common misperception in the gay community is that you need to douche before sex.  Doctors say it could wreck your colon instead.

Like many bottoms, my gay friend George* has a harrowing story about using an enema before anal sex. "I had met a guy on Grindr," he said. "I get to his place and ring the doorbell. As he opened the door to say hi, I coughed and shat out a load of poo water into my underwear. Loudly. I had to run into his flat, straight to the toilet, and throw my underwear away. It was all down my legs. It killed the mood, needless to say. And, yes, I left the dirty underwear there." 

Among bottoms, learning the art and science of douching—using an enema, syringe, or hose to flush out the rectal cavity before getting rammed to high heaven—is a sacred rite of passage.  Like the asses they irrigate, douches come in all shapes and sizes, from readily available Fleet brand saline bottles to complicated shower contraptions for seasoned vets. It's a messy reality of taking dick up your butt: If you don't want to end up with a disappointed top and a gross sex situation on your hands, a courteous bottom needs to douche beforehand. Or so many within the gay community think.

In the interest of all my dirty bottoms out there, I asked a few doctors what one should do to prevent horror stories like George's. What's really the best way to douche? The answer surprised me—according to medical experts, you probably shouldn't be doing it at all.

"I usually tell patients to just put a towel down on those fancy sheets and go for it," said Dr. Stephen Goldstone, an assistant clinical professor of surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital and a specialist in anorectal disease and gay men's health. Goldstone is the author of The Ins & Outs of Gay Sex: A Medical Handbook, so he knows a thing or two.

Dr. Evan Goldstein, who founded the gay men's sexual wellness practice Bespoke Surgical (and is one of the country's foremost anal rejuvenators), provided a helpful hypothetical. "Imagine if you line up ten guys, and you're going to top them all," he said, describing a modest Thursday evening at The Eagle. "Even if they haven't prepared, nine out of ten would be completely stool-free."  

That's because, contrary to what your gay best friend or some insufferable YouTube personality told you, you don't truly need to clean out before riding the baloney pony all night long. It all comes down to anatomy. As Dr. Goldstein told me, stool resides in the sigmoid colon, the part of the large intestine closest to the rectum and anus. There, you'll find a muscle that keeps poo from going into the rectum and through the anus until you're actually ready to, you know, poo. That means there shouldn't be any stool where the top's dick is going, unless your top is hung like Jon Hamm times Justin Theroux.

You're probably about to say, "Yeah, but when I douche all kinds of poo comes out." You're not wrong. The thing about enemas and irrigation devices is that they were made for people with actual constipation issues, not bottoms. When we douche, the force of water propelled into the colon goes past the area that actually needs to be clean for sex, up into the sigmoid colon. That fills the feces up there with water, and then washes it all out, which is the point of the enema in the first place. An enema cleans out way more than you need to for sex, making your butthole even dirtier in the process. And many people do this repeatedly, until the water comes out clear. That's like draining a whole pool just to get a few leaves out when you could be using a skimmer instead. (Though it's possible for a dick to enter the sigmoid colon depending on one's individual anatomy, it's not common.)

The doctors added that over-the-counter enemas weren't intended to be used on a regular basis, either. "Fleet [brand enemas] are not great," Dr. Goldstein said. "They cause a lot of trauma. The chemical in there creates irritation. It brings water into the movement so you can poop away, but it causes the cells [of the rectum] to get irritated. It creates tons of mucus and tons of dryness in the area." That dryness can lead to cracks and bleeding, which can also make it easier to pass some STDs. 

Dr. Goldstone points out that douching too often can lead to other, long-lasting problems, too. "If you're doing it every day, there are a lot of issues with enemas. You can lengthen your colon, and that can lead to constipation later in life," he said. Yep, your worst fears are true: the constant pushing required to expel all of that water-logged poop can blow out the anal sphincters that keep it in, causing irreparable harm that can mess up bowel movements down the road. Dr. Goldstone said symptoms of that damage aren't often evident until it's too late. 

"That's what's so dangerous about it," he said. "It's not threatening, but it's a real pain in the ass, so to speak, it can make you uncomfortable and miserable."

What should you do instead? Well, probably nothing. Both doctors recommended a simple shower before bottoming, using plain water to clean the butthole and a little bit inside, too. If that's not sufficient, there's probably something wrong with your diet. Try adding fiber for bulkier stools, which can be found in leafy green vegetables and other fiber-rich foods. If you don't like waiting in line at Sweetgreen, you can always try fiber supplements like Metamucil. There's even a supplement that explicitly targets the gay market: Pure for Men,  which is made with the same psyllium husk, flaxseed and chia found in other over-the-counter fiber products, presumably manufactured extra… homosexually. Dr. Goldstein noted that every booty is different, so you'll need to experiment to find the timing and dosage of fiber to ensure maximum cleanliness for you.

For those who still insist on doing something—anything—up there before sex, Dr. Goldstein said it's best to douche using plain water and just a tiny bit of pressure from an enema bulb. But buyer beware. "When someone has a big bulb in front of them, they just want to squeeze the fuck out of it and get all of the water in there," he said. Remember, you only need to clean a few inches, not your entire gut.  

Both doctors said that any butt should be ready to rumble with a moment's notice. If you don't believe that, try sticking a dildo or buttplug in there and pulling it out. If there's no brown stuff on it, then you're fine. If there is, think about refining your diet or using supplements.  

What does all our anxiety about douching say about gay culture? That we need to chill out (without turning to poppers). The gay community sets notoriously unrealistic expectations for itself on everything from ideal body type to the "value" of masculinity;  expecting absolute cleanliness in sex is much the same. After all, if you keep going down that rabbit hole, eventually you're going to meet the rabbit, and there's nothing really wrong with that. Or, as Dr. Goldstone said, "No matter what you do, it's always going to be an asshole. You can't enemize it into something it's not."  

 *not his real name

-----"Gay Guys: You're Douching Wrong", vice.com June 17, 2017

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG