Gay Men And Forgiveness 2

It’s not difficult to find a gay man who has been hurt by another gay man. 

Sure, there might be different degrees of hurt. Some offenses were probably more subtle, while others were more blatant and outward. Regardless, they all can leave a mark. 

The reality is that many gay men are carrying past hurt with them day in and day out. The experience and wound gets re-opened each time they think about the look, insult or slur that was thrown their way. Instead of healing, the wound gets sliced open over and over again. 

On the other side, there are gay men out there who continue to hurt other gay men. Their view of the world is narrow and self-absorption is a way of life. Their self is the center of the world and they swing violently throughout the bars, beaches and community, much like a wrecking ball (cue Miley Cyrus). 

All of this creates a recipe for long-lasting grudges, cycles of hurt and monumental barriers to forming a sense of community among gay men. 

Is this presence of skepticism, paranoia and suspicion of gay men toward other gay men an old phenomenon? Or is this new? Is it something that wasn’t ever talked about or acknowledged before or are we facing a brand new beast? 

What I don’t hear a lot within the gay community is the concept of forgiveness. 

Merriam-Webster says to forgive is to “stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong)” and “to stop blaming (someone).” To “stop feeling anger about (something) and “to forgive someone for (something wrong)”. 

While there are certainly pockets and moments of love shown between gay men, there is also burning rage in the hearts of many — especially those who have been hurt time and again. 

Both Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi spoke strongly about forgiving others. King said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” And Gandhi boldly proclaimed, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”. 

It’s safe to say that most gay men have been hurt by other gay men at some point in their lives. What would it look like for you to forgive the gay men that have hurt you in your life? Is it possible for you to let go of that hurt you’ve been carrying around for days weeks, months or even decades? Do you believe reconciliation is even possible? 

Maybe forgiveness is a muscle we’ve allowed to get flabby and weak. Maybe we’ve been holding out for an apology from our perpetrator that may never arrive. The truth is that when we refuse to forgive others, we only imprison ourselves. 

Every gay man reading this gets to decide: Will I carry anger or love in my heart? You can’t carry both. 

Yes, we need to educate our fellow gay men and be bold in confronting racism, classism, ageism and other -isms that too often go unaddressed in our community. 

I fear, however, that without an element of forgiveness, our posture toward one another will continue to harden. The distance and divide will increase and the toxic words we throw toward one another will become increasingly sharp and pointed. 

There’s very little hope of cultivating community and friendships when we can’t stand one another and when we won’t forgive. 

Forgiveness is messy. It’s complicated. Maybe we’re afraid to air our “dirty laundry” to the larger world. If we’re real honest with ourselves, gay men are not at all immune to hating one another. Perhaps a part of you hates other gay men in this very moment. 

While writing this, I came across these powerful words from Archbishop Desmond Tutu:

Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies or our loved ones are not about pretending that things are other than they are. It is not about patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong. True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking, but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end, only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.

Will gay men step forward to choose forgiveness? Will I? Will you? What will be your first step toward forgiving your fellow gay men?..................


-----"What If Gay Men Forgave One Another?",  by Josh Hersh, July 17, 2014, The Blog, Huffington Post 

See also: Gay Men And Forgiveness 1

Romancing The Bone

How Faggotry Manufactures Gayness to Devastating Effect

1.  The Setup
2.  Technique 1 - Massive Flattery And Adoration
3.  Technique 2 - Gay By Implication
4.  Technique 3 - Disprove The Negative: Prove You're Not Gay
5.  So...What's The Point...?
6.  Faggotry As A Predator
7.  The Independently Thinking Gay Man


1.   The Setup

It starts with gay or gay-focused sites or blogs. While some may feature hard and soft core male porn as the hook, the real objects of attention fall into distinct categories:

1. Male pop stars - particularly those in their 20s or early 30s;
2. Male TV actors - initially it started with those in daytime soap operas, but expanded to include those appearing on prime time;
3. Male models - in particular underwear and swimwear models with billboard, magazine or online exposure, erotic photography models;
4. Male athletes or Olympic athletes - preferred sports for attention being swimming, diving, sprinters, gymnasts, figure skating (but now expanding to include soccer and rugby players);
5. Male fitness models and bodybuilders;
6. Male celebrities;
7. Guys appearing in gay-for-pay porn or bi porn;

2.   Technique 1 - Massive Flattery and Adoration 

1.   The "target" male becomes the subject of intensely positive reportage, starting with his physical characteristics and sometimes includes an "awww...." factor to make it easier to relate to him:

• cute dimples;
• great smile;
• lovely eyes;
• chic haircut;
• handsome face that makes one swoon;
• body to die for;
• superficial titillating speculation e.g. does his hairy chest lead to a treasure trail on his lower abs...? is he Cut or Uncut...? Given that bulge in his swimming trunks or underwear, how many inches could he be....?
• detailed stats including place and date of birth;
• tall, dark and handsome or blue-eyed, wholesome jock next door;
• exotic masculine looks especially if coupled with mixed heritage;
• "analysis" of muscle definition with emphasis on particular muscle groups e.g. rippling biceps, massive shoulders, defined V-shape in the back, really powerful thighs, cute muscled butt;
• superficial speculation on his work-out routine, gossip about which gym he goes to and what times he can be spotted there, who his trainer is;
• what size clothes he wears and his favourite colours;
• "Awww...." factors include: loves dogs, likes playing frisbee, pigs out on cheeseburgers and tacos; sleeps in on Sundays, does volunteer work.......

2.   What's the point of Faggotry laying it on thick....?  Simple.  The first step is to let the "target" know he has a gay following.  That's both a blessing and a curse.

3.   The moment that "target" goes public via social media or a magazine or TV interview that he's so "honoured / happy / thrilled / pleasantly surprised" that he has a gay following, Faggotry has got him.  The first stage has been entirely successful. They've got his attention. It's time for Faggotry to move to the next stage against him - or look for another target.

4.   Alternatively, Techniques 1 and 2 (below) can be combined.  The desired result is the same.....it puts the "target" on the defensive, first via a Charm Offensive and then by something progressively more sinister.


3.   Technique 2 - Gay By Implication

1.   How the "target" male is softened up by implication and innuendo:

• His Church is the gym;
• When he's not alone, he's only and always seen with guys;
• Those guys are rumoured to be gay;
• Those guys have been seen with other guys known or suspected to be gay;
• The women in his social life are all platonic friends;
• Hangs around with known "fag hags"; 
• Seen in gay-friendly bars, cafes and restaurants with "fag hags";
• Spotted in the crowd at Gay Pride alone or with one or more of the above;
• Shows no inclination to date women, even though women find him attractive;
• Coy about the women in his life and deflects questioning;
• Lives with or is close to his Mom;
• Lives with his "roomate" and has been for a couple of years;
• Wears body conscious clothing;
• Wears brands favoured by gay customers;
• Shops in retail stores frequented by gay customers;
• Body accessories indicative of "gayness" e.g. earring or stud in Right Ear, jewellery by gay designer;
• Had his apartment remodelled by a trendy gay designer;
• Socializes with known gay celebs and gay media types either publicly or at swanky private parties;
• Circumstantial or direct evidence that he showed up at gay saunas or cruising areas;
• Circumstantial or direct evidence that he came on to one or more guys;

4.   Technique 3 - Disprove The Negative : Prove You're Not Gay

1.   There's been a ton of stuff written in the fields of Religion, Philosophy and Logic about the apparent futility or possibility of Disproving a Negative.  Google it.

2.   It's also a favourite geopolitical tool of the West when it comes to intimidating, threatening or attacking a foreign country - often on trumped up "evidence".  The 2003 attack on Iraq was based entirely on false evidence of the alleged presence of weapons of mass destruction coupled with a demand that the Iraqi government show that it didn't have them.  It was deliberately intended to back them into a corner because whatever they said, it would never be enough to rebut the manufactured implications and allegations which could be churned out and spun indefinitely.

3.   This is exactly the same tactic that Faggotry uses to attack a "target" male after it has first flattered him and loaded him with implications.  Disproving the Negative is justified by Faggotry on the basis of freedom of expression, investigative "journalism", or because the "target" is a public figure who has somehow waived his right to privacy.

4.   Confronted with Disproving The Negative, the "target" is sent into immediate damage control, panic-stricken denials, a sudden holiday out of the country, a plea for privacy.  The mainstream press which now has wind of Faggotry's manipulation of Disproving The Negative, is all over the story. It takes a very strong man to stand his ground and say absolutely nothing, because quite frankly, his private life is none of Faggotry's damn business.

5.   The intent is to force an Outing by the "target" confessing to being gay; or to orchestrate the Outing according to Faggotry's media coverage and Politically Correct dictates for maximum "sympathy / empathy" or manipulation of public perception for the benefit of Faggotry's agenda.


5.   So.....What's The Point.....?

1.   Elsewhere in this blog, we've made 3 main points about Faggotry:

• It is a global sub-standard behavioural franchise; AND
• It could be regarded as an Authoritarian State; AND
• It's a Human Ponzi Scam - new converts to "the lifestyle" and its bizarre Liberal (?) / Fascist politically correct ideology, are constantly required.  Otherwise, the Scam collapses.

6.  Faggotry As A Predator

1.   In our post, Faggotry An Authoritarian State...? we mentioned the predatory nature of Faggotry, which was essential to its survival:

5.   Faggotry - A Predator

Smith makes a revelatory observation about a centralized state i.e. centralized control, that applies equally to what we have long perceived as "the Politically Correct, Gay Authoritarian Stealth Creep" of Faggotry via its enablers.

".....the central state is genetically programmed to become an authoritarian state devoted to self-preservation and extension of its reach and power."

Our view is that Faggotry's ultimate agenda is to globally control every aspect of Politically Correct thought, speech and behaviour when it comes to dealing with, describing or analyzing gay men and their behaviour.  Accuracy and Analysis must be squelched. Spin and Outrage must prevail.  The Engine of Faggotry must be kept running.

The Engine of Faggotry is kept running in politics and media through:

• favouritism and public endorsement;
• grants and fundraising;
• "gay watchdogs" and shrieks of outrage;
• cronyism;

2.   Seen in that context, identifying individual male "targets" for Flattery, Implication and then forcing them to Disprove The Negative, makes perfect sense.  The predatory nature of Faggotry operates on two fronts simultaneously: 

1. the pushing of the "gay agenda"; and
2. the aggressive acquisition of "converts" who, whether by threat, intimidation, boycott, outrage, flattery, implication, Outing or being forced to Disprove The Negative, can be co-opted as "spokesmen / advocates / activists " for the agenda or at the very least, keep their mouths shut in tacit approval - or fear;

7.   The Independently Thinking Gay Man

1.   The independently thinking gay man who hasn't yet been seduced by Faggotry's slick hypnosis, looks on aghast at the scheming violations of the target male's privacy, personal liberty, thought and action.

2.   The good news is that (as we've stated before) we are living in the times of the Apocalypse, the true meaning of which, is that which was hidden is now revealed.  It is our view that more gay men are actively questioning Faggotry's ideology and methods.  We suspect there is a strong undercurrent of disgust.

3.   Furthermore, we are also living in times of massive systemic collapse and revelation. This is unstoppable. The pace and scale of systemic collapse will increase.  Faggotry is a predatory system operating in an old paradigm that is disingenuous, restrictive and dis-empowering.  It is destined to collapse as more independently thinking gay men simply opt out and claim their right to think, speak, act and live on their terms without having to look over their shoulder to see if they conform to a Politically Correct, Liberal / Fascist pre-set agenda - or whether they are about to be attacked.

4.   If we are correct in our analysis of Faggotry's methods of Flattery, Implication and forced Disproving The Negative, then Faggtory itself is liable for both gay-baiting and gay bashing.

5.   We don't know what the new paradigm for gay men will look like.  But we predict that when the current paradigm collapses, gay activists and enablers will be shrieking at, and blaming, each other. It's all they know.

Originally published 4 September 2014
Amended and Republished 3 July 2018

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The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 5

Mainland Chinese Twinks In Gay Scat Porn

At first, we didn't believe what we were being told over the last few months.

We'd written a four-part series on the rise of gay scat porn on the web (and by extension, in real time) speculating on the reasons for its popularity in the West and why conventional Faggotry couldn't do a thing about it.  The series proved surprisingly riveting for readers.

Our friendly GAM-Throats-On-The-Street started whispering something we were not expecting to hear........initially, we dismissed it as gossip.

Then, proof was provided on the street via their smartphones and more proof via memorized URLs recited to us.  We checked on our phone and on our laptop and BANG...!! there it was.

We can only put it down to China's emergence on the world stage:

Mainland Chinese gay twinks are participating in and uploading very raunchy gay scat porn on certain sites, notably Tumblr, Pornhub and Xtube.  These are high resolution amateur videos.

And we do men Very Raunchy.  This is full-on Asian gay raunch which will give Japanese gay porn producers, traditionally the masters of kink, S&M and raunch, several reasons to sit up and take notice.

Apparently there's even a slang-on-the-street for this Mainland Chinese niche genre:  Yellow River and Brown Rice.

It is rumoured that since Grindr is now Chinese-owned and since Mainland Chinese gay hookup sites like Blued are extremely popular with the 18 - 25 year olds, that being gay and discussing, advertising or hooking up - and filming -  for what would have been taboo sex, is now out in the open.

From what we can tell, wwwaaaaaaayyyyyy out in the open.

See also:

• The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 1
• The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 2
• The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 3
• The Huge Rise In Gay Scat Porn 4

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Craigslist Hong Kong

CL Hong Kong has now removed all personal ads in all categories.

This is part of a worldwide move on all their pages. The official reason is to stop global human trafficking for prostitution.  This is obviously a huge problem and we suspect some ugly truths about the scale of human abduction and trafficking are about to be released.

As we've said before, these are the times of the Apocalypse, the true meaning of which, is that which was hidden, is now revealed

We're not gonna miss the hugely irritating Indonesian, Filipino, Thai and Chinese moneyboys, or the really weirdly-worded ads by Asian trans-sexuals.

However, we have a sneaky suspicion that some presently innocent categories on CL like "Salon/Spa/Fitness will become the new turf for carnal games.  No proof, just a thought.

UPDATE: 7 MAY 2018:  Our suspicion was almost correct: the personal ads and the escorts have appeared in the the "Missed Connections category".  What makes it worse, is that they're not sorted.  You're gonna have to wade through escorts, trans-sexual escorts, heteros looking to hookup, homos looking to hookup - and missed connections.  What a fuckin' mess.

We will miss local and tourist gay men online, in particular:

• the abject stupidity;
• the repetitive insanity;
• the "preferences";
• the outright racism;
• the outright ageism; 
• the number of years over which a fag's age remained the same;
• the ads we instantly knew would fail;
• the number of times we giggled when we saw, "let's do this..!" (more a declaration of desperation than intent);
• the pleas for information on gay saunas which fell on deaf ears;
• whether the self-admitted "average-looking, wine-drinking, "philosophical", "cultured", well educated, "gentle" GAM (a.k.a someone with the visual appeal of paint drying on the wall and the mental incontinence of a dripping faucet), actually found true love with a bloated white guy, similarly depleted in the Looks Department.

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Hong Kong Twinks Online

Spotted on Craigslist Hong Kong M2M and Casual Encounters M2M over the last few days

 
Example 1:

First Time sucking dick
I have just recently turned 18 and I want to suck dick, i don't want it to be too big but I'll take anything. I can't host and cannot leave hk.

FuelMix Wrote To Twink:

Hey dude, in case you weren't aware of it, the minimum age for gay sex in Hong Kong is actually 16.  That's been the case since 2006.

Do a web search using "hong kong gay sex age of consent" and see for yourself.

Twink's Response ( the next day): 
Dammit im 2 years late


Example 2: 

Teenager stuff
Japanese teenager
Turning 16 soon
5'8
53 kg
Around 6 inches
Message me evidence you aren't gonna kill me when I get there
Pm moi and we can negotiate the money and do the dirty

FuelMix says:

1. This ad should not be allowed online. 
2. The kid is under 16 and is requesting money for sex.
3. Anyone who responds to this ad, would be committing a criminal offence of soliciting sex with a minor with a cash inducement.
4. Kid could potentially blackmail anyone who responds to this ad.
5. Kid could also be arrested for soliciting underage sex or being an underage prostitute;

 
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Gay Men And Forgiveness 1

Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

Sex is easy. Intimacy is hard. Having spent so much of my life sexually frustrated, I didn’t realize how true this is until after a painful breakup with my ex, Kay.

I partially came out at 20. I came out more fully at twenty-five. But I didn’t really properly date until I was 29. Which means I had about a 10-year lag on most heterosexuals. The romantic and sexual experiences that most other people go through earlier, I went through later, but with the same emotionally undeveloped tools as an adolescent. 

So when I met Kay, I rushed in. I felt too much, too fast, and then we fell apart. 

This happens to straight people too of course. But I think our straight peers have the advantage of a larger culture that better equips them to deal with romantic failure. They receive mentorship either directly from friends or family, or indirectly from media, on how to recover from a failed relationship. 

At least for me, I spent much of my adolescence and early adulthood having my own sexual interests dismissed. And so when I finally found a guy who provided the fulfillment of a meaningful relationship, and then had my heart broken, I felt like there was never a point to it. I was rejected by straight culture, and now I’d been rejected by my own. I gave up on any kind of “happily ever after.” 

For a full week after Kay and I ended, I barely left my apartment and just sat streaming videos. I burned through all of True Detective and much of The Wire. Cocktail hour started at sunrise. I deleted him from my phone. I felt lonely all the time. I still do sometimes, though I’m better now at managing it.

Everyone at some point finds themselves feeling abandoned, as though alone in a boat. But as a gay man, I felt adrift, with neither rudder, oar, nor sail, as I watched my straight peers move on ahead. They too went through many of the same struggles, but always seemed to recover better and faster, while I bobbed around at the whim of the waves, traveling each way and none. 

I pursued myriad shallow relationships, rather than investing and losing too much by giving too much to one person. There are ten guys in my list of contacts with the last name “OKCupid.” There are 23 with the last name “Grindr”. For one of them, as a first name I just wrote “Some Dude.” Those are just the ones who made it into my contacts. 

I found lots of opportunities for easy sex, but didn’t push for anything more from the guys I met. 

I even hooked up with the same guy twice and didn’t even realize I’d had sex with him before until, as we were undressing, I recognized a familiar birthmark otherwise hidden by underwear. I still don’t know his name. 

Kay and I lived in the same city, which meant that we would run into each other occasionally. Each time it had been painful to pretend that we were strangers. As two gay men between the age of twenty and forty living in a small city, we were going to share space. We’ve probably shared lovers. But the isolation we’d brought on ourselves had been its own kind of burden. Even worse than the break up itself. The breakup happened and ended. The loneliness that came from going unacknowledged dragged on and on. 

Recently, I was wrapping up breakfast with a man I’d been seeing for eight months. (Both of us had been cautious—we hadn’t had the “boyfriend” talk. Love comes more slowly the second time around.) I received a text with the name heading: New Contact Found: Maybe Kay.

When I got the text, beginning, “Hi, this is Kay,” I felt fearful, anxious and angry. I looked at the calendar: It had been three years and two days since our first date. 

Kay was texting to say that he was sorry for how he had treated our relationship. For years, this was what I had most wanted from Kay. I didn’t want him to beg for forgiveness, or tell me that he loved me, I just wanted him to see that how we ended had left me hurt. But, even more than that, I wanted him to recognize that we had, once, been important to each other. 

The funny thing was, once Kay apologized to me, I realized I could do the same for him. There were things about our relationship that I was sorry for. I had done things I regretted, and had wanted to apologize for, but hadn’t because I thought it would make me look like a chump. I was the one who got dumped. So why should I be the one to say I was sorry? 

But after this exchange, I could feel my anger and resentment toward Kay evaporating. He had been trying to identify what was important to him, and had realized that he needed to take better care of his relationships. It was not something that came easily to him, but he was trying to do better. 

I felt that he meant what he wrote, and I made the choice to believe him. Mostly because I’ve been feeling the same way. And acknowledging that it, and each other, has let me release a lot of weight I’d been dragging around ever since we split. Yes, I had been avoiding Kay. But I had also been avoiding my own fears of intimacy. 

I’d tried to dodge every single guy I’d ever been on so much as a date with, which meant strategizing how to best navigate an ever growing minefield of discarded lovers. Sure, when Kay and I crossed paths we pretended we didn’t know each other, but I’d been doing that with everyone who’d shared my bed. 

Recently, I reached out to another ex after a chance encounter in a thrift store. When I saw Luis in the store, I spun around and walked out. Almost immediately I felt embarrassed and went back inside to apologize, but he had already left, or else was hiding in the dressing room. So I texted him to say how sorry I was that I had avoided him. That the next time I saw him I would say hello. 

Kay and I will probably never be friends. We don’t need to be. But at least we aren’t strangers any more. We can say hello when we see each other in the street. I even opened up my contacts and put his name back in.

-----"Dealing with Rejection: Living openly and learning to forgive", by Cirrus Wood, Beta, October 11, 2017


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Gay Couples Touring Asia

Probably the best explanation we've seen...

"Why should I spend my tourist dollars in a country that wants to throw me in jail?!"

   

This was our dilemma before setting off for our big travel adventures in Asia – as a gay couple.

If it isn’t illegal (like in Sri Lanka, Singapore, the Maldives, Malaysia, India, Myanmar…), then it’s certainly not truly welcomed (think Indonesia, China or Mongolia).

A few (like Nepal and Vietnam) have taken proactive steps to start to protect their LGBT community instead of criminalising them.

And some have gone further to not only protect their LGBT community, but to embrace, support them and in addition, actively promote gay tourism: Japan, Thailand, Taiwan and the Philippines.

So as a gay traveller, does that mean you shouldn’t visit countries like India or Myanmar? Are you really under any practical danger visiting a country like Malaysia or the Maldives? Should you take that hard line approach and avoid visiting some of the most beautiful areas of our planet just because of some really archaic, backwards laws?

After over 18 months travelling as a gay couple in Asia, here’s a few lessons we learnt and hope we can relay to all gay travellers in this post:

1. Ignore the anti-gay laws: as a foreigner you are completely safe!
2. This is because it’s one rule for locals, another for tourists.
3. Despite anti-gay laws, it IS ethical to spend money in these countries.
4. Going out there as a tourist is more effective to their LGBT community then a blanket ban on visiting.

 1.  Ignore the anti-gay laws: as a foreigner you are completely safe! 

One common opinion we found in every single country we visited: most people just couldn’t care less about you. Not in a bad way of course. Their priorities are their jobs, family, paying their bills, educating their children, putting food on the table.

No one heterosexual was ever interested in what the Nomadic Boys got up to in the bedroom (or bathtub…!): 

At no stage during our travels in Asia did we ever feel threatened or in danger for being gay.

At worst, the gay club we went to in Delhi was busted by the police at 1am. The policemen were using the anti gay laws to get a bribe from the club promoters. Everyone else was left alone and told to leave via the back door.

We are not obviously gay when you first meet us, we don’t mince about waving a rainbow flag, nor do we show any public displays of affection like holding hands or kissing (we don’t do this anyway back home in London/Lyon).

At the very worst, we got the whole“double bed – are you sure?!” or “are you twins/brothers?” type of questions a lot. 

2.  One rule for locals, another for tourists

In every country we visited in Asia, gay tourists are always treated differently compared to LGBT locals.

Our friend Kaluu from Colombo pointed out that whilst homosexuality is illegal in Sri Lanka, the police almost always turn a blind eye to tourists: no one wants to get involved with foreign embassies if it ever came to that.  

In Malaysia, we met may gay locals, really excited to show us round. However, they asked us to not use their name on our blog for fear of negative implications on their work and by their society.

Yet the hotels we worked with throughout Malaysia were delighted to embrace and welcome us as a gay couple and promote pink tourism, like The Four Seasons on Langkawi island who arranged this lovers ritual ceremony for us. 

Tourism is big business, so foreigners will always be given special treatment despite the homophobic laws.

The only exception is Brunei: a tiny country on Borneo island, which is financially independent, funded by oil, so no interest in tourism. And also the autonomous Aceh province in North Indonesia.

In both Brunei and Aceh, extreme Sharia Law applies, so both gay locals and LGBT tourists risk some form of public whipping and/or death by stoning.

3.  Despite anti-gay laws, it IS ethical to spend money in these countries 

Is it ethical to spend money in countries which criminalise their LGBT communities?

We say a big fat yes of course!

We have been criticised for promoting LGBT travel to countries like the Maldives, Malaysia, Sri Lanka etc, but we always question the true value of a blanket ban on gay tourists visiting such countries.

The money you spend on holiday mainly goes to the local businesses you are eating at, staying at or touring with.

In other words, the people benefiting are every day people like you and me (maybe straight, maybe gay), who simply want to make a living for themselves, and not the politicians who are creating and promoting anti gay laws.

In most cases, these local businesses probably don’t even agree or care for these laws.

Most importantly of all, if you visit a gay owned or gay friendly establishment during your travels, your money helps them flourish in a society, which is likely to be fighting to close them down or make their lives difficult.

Your presence there is invaluable in supporting the local LGBT community and businesses, as well as helping them flourish.

And finally, we strongly believe that meeting and engaging with gay locals is far more productive then refusing to visit their country in the first place.

4.  So go on and book your flight to Delhi, Male, Colombo etc

We strongly believe boycotting a country like India, Malaysia, Myanmar, the Maldives, Sri Lanka etc is counter productive.

Actually going out there and supporting LGBT owned businesses and making friends and interacting with the local LGBT community is far more effective then boycotting their country.

Imagine you were in their shoes, would you prefer your gay sisters abroad to ignore you, or come over and embrace and support you?

We sure know what we’d choose. 

And you’ll make heaps of friends along the way!

-----"What's it like travelling as a gay couple in Asia", Nomadic Boys 21 December 2017

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A. I. - Generated Fake Porn

It's arrived.....the "deepfake"...

Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

They call them "deepfakes." 

It's the term for pornography made using artificial intelligence-assisted technology to superimpose a person's face on another performer's body - essentially allowing the producer to create fake porn featuring celebrities, politicians or even average every people. 

In a report published Wednesday, Motherboard recounted how they discovered a user on Reddit responsible for producing convincing porn videos featuring celebrities like Gal Gadot, Maisie Williams and Taylor Swift. 

Pretty soon, the technology used to create "deepfakes" will be widely available enough to be used by extortionists and criminals with only a cursory understanding of how the software works. Another redditor discovered by Motherboard even created an app specifically designed to allow users without a computer science background to create AI-assisted fake porn. All the tools one needs to make these videos are free, readily available, and accompanied with instructions that walk novices through the process.

Two months ago, the first redditor mentioned above created a subreddit dedicated to the practice.
In that short time, the subreddit has already amassed more than 15,000 subscribers. Within the community, the word “deepfake” itself is now a noun for the kinds of neural-network generated fake videos their namesake pioneered, according to Motherboard. 

Another "deepfake" auteur created an app called FakeApp, a user-friendly application that allows anyone to recreate these videos with their own datasets. The app is based on deepfakes' algorithm, but another user who goes by deepfakeapp created FakeApp without the help of the original deepfakes. While none of these people divulged their identity to Motherboard, the user known as Deepfakeapp said in a direct message that his goal with creating FakeApp was to make deepfakes’ technology available to people without a technical background or programming experience. 

“I think the current version of the app is a good start, but I hope to streamline it even more in the coming days and weeks,” he said. “Eventually, I want to improve it to the point where prospective users can simply select a video on their computer, download a neural network correlated to a certain face from a publicly available library, and swap the video with a different face with the press of one button.”

Peter Eckersley, chief computer scientist at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, fears the technology will soon reach the point where fakes are virtually indistinguishable for authentic videos.

Fakes posted in the subreddit have already been pitched as real on other websites; a deepfake of Emma Watson taking a shower was uploaded by CelebJihad, a celebrity porn site that regularly posts hacked celebrity nudes, as a “never-before-seen video" purportedly from the user's "private collection." ........ 

Other redditors have taken video trained from celebrities' Instagram accounts and used it to convincingly fake Snapchat messages.

Soon, this technology could create problems for everybody, from governments, to corporations to the news media - which will now find it even more difficult to distinguish veritable "Fake News" from reality.  

-----The Era Of AI-Generated "Fake" Porn Has Arrived, ZeroHedge, January 25, 2018
 

FuelMix says:

1.   Well, well, well.....let's see.....

• large chunks of western lamestream "presstitute" media are actively whoring themselves out peddling fake news (and have been repeatedly exposed recently as doing exactly that);
• chunks of social media together with western lamestream media are claiming the right to establish filters and human arbiters (the latter being described as "trusted") to exclude what they deem to be "fake news" - whilst claiming the right to free speech and freedom of expression...;
• lamestream media presstitutes are actively looking for dirt on personalities they don't like - or simply inventing it;

2.  So presumably, the easy and free (?) availability of an app which uses Artificial Intelligence (the so-called "neural network") to superimpose a person's head on another person's body, thereby generating publicity, propaganda, polarization and porn, would be a godsend to those who dare to tell others what they should be seeing, hearing and thinking.

3.   Or would it...?   Remember, those fools who claim to be "news reporters" or "journalists" actively peddling fake news, can easily have the A.I. fake technology turned on them too.

4.  And what about the fags.....with their inbred propensity for venom, lies, deceit, fake stats, fake names, fake location, fake relationship status, fake health status....?  Would they resort to the app mentioned above, FakeApp, to manufacture A.I.-Generated Porn thereby creating a "deepfake"?  We say, "Yes, they would." The number of bitter, wounded fags out there seeking revenge, is astonishing.  In Principles of Faggotry 65, we said:

"Many ghetto fags who claim that they consciously came out of the closet, are unconsciously living in an emotionally gated community.  Look closely and it's clear that Pride and Loathing are always found together in the gay ghetto."

  
5.  And in Principles of Faggotry 32 we said:

" A dumb fag with a smart phone is a dangerous combination."

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Revenge Porn 3

6.  Nailing The Bastard Who Did It



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Copyright vests in the lawful copyright holders
 
(3)  Taking legal action

1.  Considering all the noise being made to globally control the Web, there are no uniform laws concerning revenge porn.

2.  Depending on location, the laws specifically against revenge porn are either non-existent or, may exist at a state or provincial level or, may exist at both state and federal level. Note that in the absence of an overriding federal law, if the victim and offender live in different states, it may be necessary to take legal action in both states.

3.  Note also that revenge porn laws apply to legally underage offending teenagers uploading revenge porn images of another underage teenager.  Instead of being charged under child pornography laws, they can be charged with distributing an invasive image, or threatening to upload an invasive image.

4.  Even if there are no nationwide laws specifically against revenge porn where you live, the fact remains that the unauthorized sharing of a sexual image can still end up being a criminal offence under existing laws:

• Harassment
• Stalking
• Intimidation
• Blackmail
• Extortion
• Breach of Privacy Laws - unauthorized use of personal identifying information
• Hacking of computer or peripherals or mobile phone
• Identity Theft
• Incitement - when your image is uploaded to other sites and users are invited to comment
• If the victim was underage, child porn laws might apply.

5.  Civil proceedings may also be possible for harm to personal and professional reputation.  Remember in civil cases, you start the action.  In criminal cases, you will have to persuade the police to bring it.

6.  Also, notifying government agencies that a revenge porn website is engaging in unfair, criminal and unethical business practices may get you some relief and put the heat on the proprietors of that website.

7.  And for those gay men thinking of getting into a formal relationship with a Significant Other...? A prenuptial agreement that contains terms specifically dealing with privacy issues and ownership of sexually explicit images PLUS undertakings not to spread them if the relationship breaks.  After all, if you decide who gets to keep the Lalique crystal vases, why should your dick pics be any different..?

Originally published 26 March 2017
Republished 24 March 2018

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Revenge Porn 2

5.  "OMG..!! WTF..??!!" You: The Star Of Revenge Porn
6.  Nailing The Bastard Who Did It

5.  "OMG..!! WTF..??!!" You: The Star Of Revenge Porn

We have drawn from the article, "How to Fight Back Against Revenge Porn", The Daily Beast, 1 December 2016.

1.  Breathe. Keep breathing.  Calm down.

2.  Defending yourself from a revenge porn attack involves 3 main steps:

• Collect the evidence;
• Getting the evidence wiped from the web;
• Taking legal action;

 (1)  Collect  The Evidence

1.  Save everything.  Repeat. Save everything. Resist the initial panic reaction to thrash around to get every pic and video of you removed.  Without the evidence, the behaviour cannot be criminalized.  Save the following:

• the pics
• the video
• screenshot of the web page where it appears
• upload dates
• all messages sent by the offender
• view counts
• all comments made by viewers - the comments may be derogatory, abusive, violent and graphic.  That helps your case in showing the harm of revenge porn because those commenting are also engaging in harassment.

2.  Re-adjust your social media privacy settings- with two factor authentication if possible.  This is because the offender may upload the images to dedicated revenge porn websites, reveal your social media handles, screen shots of your social media pages and encourage others to stalk, harass or hack.

3.  However do NOT block the offender from sending you messages as you still need to build up the evidence against him.

4.  To understand the scale of the revenge porn attack against you, Google your own name using derogatory search words that those into revenge porn might use.  For example:

• "Michael Smith cocksucking faggot bitch in Singapore"
• "Michael Smith cum swallowing faggot in Singapore"
• "Michael Smith cock sucking white Singapore accountant and closet faggot"
• "white trash faggot accountant Michael Smith in Singapore"
• "Michael Smith in Singapore is a cum swallowing accountant and cock whore"

5.  If those search terms lead to revenge porn sites with you on them, remember to keep screen shots of each one of them.


(2)  Getting The Evidence Wiped From The Web

1. The Cyber Civil Rights Initiative has produced an Online Removal Guide that covers Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr, Yahoo, Google, Microsoft.

2.  From October 2105, PornHub, the largest porn site on the Web, launched a new content removal form for revenge porn victims to file take  down requests more easily.


COMING UP IN PART 3:

6.  Nailing The Bastard Who Did It

Originally published 22 March 2017
Amended and Republished 20 March 2018

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Revenge Porn 1

1.  Definition of Revenge Porn
2.  Social Media : Temptation, Apathy And Negligence
3.  Gay Men, Lousy Manners And Spite
4.  Revenge Porn In Context
5.  "OMG..!! WTF..??!!" You: The Star Of Revenge Porn
6.  Nailing The Bastard Who Did It


1.  Revenge Porn 
      (or Non-Consensual Porn, or Vindictive Porn)

Underlining highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

Revenge Porn - Revenge porn (sometimes lengthened to revenge pornography) is the sexually explicit portrayal of one or more people distributed without their consent via any medium. The sexually explicit images or video may be made by a partner of an intimate relationship  with the knowledge and consent of the subject, or it may be made without his or her knowledge. The possession of the material may be used by the perpetrators to blackmail the subjects into performing other sex acts, to coerce them into continuing the relationship, or to punish them for ending the relationship.....

The term "revenge porn" generally refers to the uploading of this sexually explicit material to humiliate and intimidate the subject, who has broken off the relationship. The term is also often misused to describe non 'revenge' scenarios, including non-consensual pornography distributed by hackers or by individuals seeking profit or notoriety.  The images are usually accompanied by sufficient information to identify the pictured individual, typically names and locations, and can include links to social media to profiles, home addresses and workplaces.  Victims, whose images expose them to workplace discrimination, cyber-stalking or physical attack, can have their lives ruined as a result. Given the practice by some companies of searching for potential sources of bad publicity, many victims of revenge porn have lost their jobs and found themselves effectively unhirable.

-----Wikipedia, Revenge Porn

2.  Social Media : Temptation, Apathy And Negligence

1.  In Principles of Faggotry 32 we said this:

A dumb fag with a smart phone is a dangerous combination.

2.  What were getting at, was the danger of pervasive technology as well as the abuse and temptation they presented.  The plethora of social media, the access given to "followers", sexual hook-up apps,  hacking tools, photoshop ability - and now, A.I.-generated fake porn superimposing heads on other bodies, present a formidable array of options and weapons.

3.  There is a lot of social pressure to be on social media.  Very few gay men will stop to ask, "What for..?"  

4.  We suspect that gay men, in their never-ending quest for cock, are too jaded (or drug- fucked) to care, too negligent, haven't considered the web trail they've left, who has been given access to their pictures and videos, or they are more interested in creating multiple profiles to theoretically enhance their chances of getting sex.

5.  So, what are the fertile areas for revenge porn..?

• Lots of pics of you online that have been there for a while - and you may have lost track of where they all are;
• X-rated ads on hookup sites that could be traced to you;
• X-rated pics or videos you took of yourself and sent to the other party;
• X-rated pics or videos of both of you, knowing that both of you were being filmed and each party has a copy;
• G-rated or professional headshot pics of you that you uploaded to social media like Facebook or professional networking sites like LinkedIn;
• Innocent workplace pics taken with colleagues;
• WhatsApp or other messaging apps that turn into "sexting";
• Chat room conversations that can be saved;
• Hacking of mobile phone, laptop or desktop;
• Hacking of external hard drives and flash drives;
• Lost or stolen phones or laptops, not properly secured for authenticated entry;
• And no, faggot, Snapchat is not that safe.  Screen shots can still be made of images;

As the University of Adelaide's Law School pointed out in their online resource on revenge porn and cyberbullying, there is a deliberate or unconscious ignorance of the boundaries of sexual behaviour and online communication.  In other words, it's a minefield out there.  Not only is there pervasive and probably illegal intelligence agency spying of your laptop, desktop, tablet and mobile going on worldwide, but your cock-focused encounters carry high risks other that STDs. The Web has destroyed anonymity and seriously damaged personal integrity.


3.  Gay Men, Lousy Manners And Spite

1.  In Principles of Faggotry 82  we said this:

A Screaming Fag is perfectly capable of dishing out the Silent Treatment.

Frequently, in abortive attempts to hookup online and after pictures have been swapped, one party suddenly gets dropped without explanation - whether or not their stats are acceptable.  Face it.  It's happened to nearly every fag with a USB connection.  Emails and WhatsApp messages are ignored or blocked. The private window in the chat room goes silent or is abruptly shut. The Silent Treatment is in full swing.  The party on the receiving end of it is puzzled, humiliated and angry.  Fags are notorious for their utter lack of online manners.  It shows no signs of getting better. 

2.  Frustrated, pissed off and feeling cheated that having swapped pics, he was suddenly dumped, the wounded fag is in a perfect position to retaliate through revenge porn or online bad-mouthing, or uploading a fake profile with the other guy's pic and then claiming that guy is HIV or some other allegation.  Note that there is no relationship between them, other than the fact that both were looking for a hookup.  That sense of overwhelming cyber-rage triggered by another guy's lousy manners, is more widespread than the average fag will feel comfortable admitting.

 3.  "Sexting" is another problematic area that can go from flirtation to bullying and then abuse...and then revenge porn.


4.  Revenge Porn In Context

1.  It's a mistake to think that revenge porn only affects women since a lot of media coverage has focused on them.  The reality is that gay men are prime targets, because of their scattered online presence plus repeated ads and pics on the same sites - and even more so in those countries where Web usage is censored or monitored and where being gay or having gay sex, can carry severe penalties.  For example, in the United Arab Emirates where gay sex is illegal, there is no shortage of guys putting up their selfies on hookup apps, while offering to pay premium prices for a bottle of poppers - which are also illegal.

2.  Revenge porn might be a phenomenon but it does not operate in a vacuum. It operates within a continuum that ranges from entrapment (pic collector with a motive), anger, abuse, betrayal, bullying, blackmail, drug-taking, drug-dealing, date-rape, intimidation, threats, stalking, theft, reputational and professional damage. 

3.  There's some good news.  The criminal and civil remedies to deal with revenge porn come from the same continuum.

COMING UP IN PART 2:

5.  "OMG..!! WTF..??!!" You: The Star Of Revenge Porn
6.  Nailing The Bastard Who Did It

Originally published 22 March 2017
Amended and Republished 19 March 2018 


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The Vow

Brad aged 31 and Caroline aged 27, are at their wedding. They prepared their own wedding “vows”. Here’s Brad’s.

Caroline….here we are standing in front of our friends and families, whom we’ve just scammed for bridal registry gifts all over town. We’ve collected a lot of stash and swag, but given the skeletons in my closet, I suspect we’ll have some storage problems when we move into that designer apartment your Dad gave us.

I don’t really want to marry you, because I think cock is more interesting particularly when attached to a hot guy. Thing is, having you as my wife deletes the awkward questions, gives me a guaranteed date to corporate functions, allows me to wear a wedding band and fit in with the other guys in the office and best of all, to put a framed picture of you on my desk – instead of the one with Miss Piggy in pearls.

You’d better not look at my mobile or my laptop. I’ve put user codes on them. Both have gay porn downloads, chat room generated explicit e-mails of men I wanted to meet and some of whom I did. There are tons of numbers from fone sex contacts, details of my tricks in the gay saunas, complete online gay guides to the cities I visited on my business trips, plus all my currently valid ads on Craigslist that I amend from time to time.

I’ve also uploaded videos of me in your underwear, jacking with a Fleshlight, doing bukkake, fuckin’ a watermelon and trying out dildos.

I’m out of control financially. I drink after work with the guys then drift into a gay bar. On weekends, I won’t be around. I’ll be at the 24 hour gay saunas getting gangbanged on meth amphetamine, Viagra and Trance Music. If you wanna know where the mood swings came from, now you know.

I’ve also been blackmailed and ripped of by male hustlers a couple of times and I’m paying them every month. The guys at the office are getting suspicious and they talk behind my back – especially when I step out about 4pm every couple of days, hit the sauna and crawl back to the office about 6pm and pretend that I was with a client. Heck, even my secretary knows I’m a liar.

I’m never gonna explain those scrawled phone numbers on scraps of paper that end up in my shirt pocket and then in the washing machine. And there will be phone calls that I get that I just don’t want you to hear. I’ll be stepping out onto the balcony a lot.

I’m not gonna be faithful to you. I never was. If you wanna call me bisexual that’s cool, I’ll take it. But I’m the only one who knows the whole truth. Even in the dead of night when I’m holding you in my arms, it’s not you I inhale – it’s the scent of that hot dude I sucked in the public toilet after office hours mixed with unflushed shit and disinfectant.

I really dunno what kind of husband or father I’m gonna be. You’ll get the 2.5 kids coz I don’t have a problem fucking you. But stuff like Little League, piano lessons, growing pains and upbringing is your problem coz I’ll be stoned, out cruising, getting fucked, or a combination of all three.

Chances are we’ll end up divorced. I suggest you keep your job indefinitely. You’ll see through me and all of this gay shit at some point. Right now you’re only marrying me to stop the other 2 bitches from snaring me. I’m hot to look at now, but see me in 7 years and you’ll really be wondering what  you married and why.  The only thing I ask is that if my lifestyle kills me, just show up with the kids at my bedside. The guys I fucked around and partied with were all anonymous and most had false names.

So yeah……..I’ll take you to be my lawfully wedded wife……whatever the hell that means.

Originally published 24 March 2010
Republished 27 January 2014 | 27 March 2017

© Copyright 2006-2017 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Objects In The Rear View Mirror

In Fag Future 2011 - 2020 Part 5, we said this:

1.   Asian fags, with better language facility, overseas education and jobs, will develop an economic and sexual arrogance.  At the same time  white, older (less rich) fags already living in Asia, will begin to push for Gay Marriage (using gay Asian proxies as the front men for the camera).  You think they're gonna want to stop sucking on affluent Oriental cock?  In Asia,  whites are already being looked on as "less than".

2.   A curious phenomenon will develop whereby older white fags become the kept "daddies", valets and slaves of younger more affluent Asian fags.  It will be a largely closet arrangement.  The affluent Asian fag cannot emotionally afford to tell Mummy and Daddy about this, especially when he's expected to marry and produce grandkids.  And the older white guy is hardly gonna show up at their doorstep claiming to be on the son's welfare as well as his sexual slave..........although it might be a useful blackmailing tool.

What we should have said in Paragraph 1 above is "At the same time white older (less rich) fags already living in Asia or the West, will begin to push for Gay Marriage with Asians..."

Why..?  Because the method by which the younger affluent Asian chooses to keep, or is forced to continue keeping, a "white daddy", can take various forms - some more suspicious than others.

Have a look at this gem spotted on Hong Kong's M2M Craigslist on January 1, 2017 (underlining and and bold print by FuelMix):

Professional Caucasian male seeks soul mate (Dallas TX)

Professional Caucasian male, US citizen, living in Dallas TX, seeks ltr/marriage with sexy Asian guy.
Me: 6'4", athletic, 48, dowry required.
Marriage partner will be eligible for Green Card and US citizenship.
Send stats, pics and profession.

We missed that one coming up in the rear view mirror. Now we know what else to look out for on life's autobahn.

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