Pavlov's Other Bitches

When we look at other people, we've trained ourselves to look for:

• lies about their age
• lies about their stats
• lies about their health status
• lies about their drug use
• lies about their job
• lies about their sexuality
• lies about their relationship status
• lies about their name
• lies about their location

• signs of a nose job
• signs of a boob job
• Botox
• liposuction
• facelifts
• tummy tucks
• butt lifts

• hair straightening
• hair extensions
• hair colouring
• eyebrow tinting
• eyelash perming

• tinted contacts
• capped teeth
• teeth whitening

• push-up bras
• push-up jocks
• cock ring bulges
• padded underwear

• spray on tans
• bronzer
• steroids

Trained as we are to sniff out fakes, we couldn't find True Love if it hit us in our recently engineered faces.

Originally published 21 February 2011.  
Republished 3 November 2011 | 6 November 2014