Who's The Victim ?

It was one of the saddest conversations upon which FuelMix has eavesdropped. Wispy, Utterly Effeminate Fag (WUEF) was seeking confirmation from an Average Joe fag (AJF) that WUEF was masculine and straight looking. 

Apparently, WUEF was having problems attracting the right type of male, and the macho specimens in which he was interested, ignored him or sneered at him, or both. AJF seemed a little fazed by the request, but was smart enough to see that WUEF was in a state of perceptual blindness. AJF proceeded to reassure WUEF that everything was fine and that he needed to be patient. WUEF looked glum, flopped his wrists agitatedly, ordered a tequila shot, knocked it back and started crying. 

FuelMix turned away to think. Who or what is behind this whole “straight looking, straight acting” moniker? If fags claim to be proud to be out, why is it even necessary to allude to that description? What does it actually convey? 

Fact: it conveys nothing. It’s a desperate attempt to straddle both hetero and homo lifestyle, and fails at both. 

Essentially, it comes down to a question of congruence, or alignment. Contrary to what gay media portrays, or what other fags deem attractive, being a fag isn’t about the way you look or act, “Straight looking, straight acting” is a lame attempt to line up to what somebody else – who’s never had your interests at heart anyway – dictate. It’s High School all over again. 

Far better to drop the crying, save money on tequila shots, stop asking others for advice, shut up and get quiet. And stay quiet. 

WUEF would be better off developing his own persona: if a fag has a body image and inherent mannerisms that just scream “sissy” there are only 2 choices: either live with it and turn it into an advantage or, change it. It’s healthy to take the full force of rejection – up to a point. Beyond that, the acceptance of rejection becomes debilitating and emotionally crippling. The trick is in turning the rejection into fuel, using it as a catalyst for something better for yourself. The operative phrase is “for yourself”. 

Neither WUEF, nor any fag, will be universally appealing to other fags. Thank God. True diversity lies in conscious choice-making emanating from the self, not the vapid opinions of some shallow clique. Having lived on the West Coast, FuelMix was frequently aghast at how the blonde-haired blue eyed college jock with the fake tan, was held up as the standard to which all fags should aspire. It was a beautifully orchestrated and well funded attempt to turn fags who weren’t physically similar, into quiet victims – feeling less than masculine, less than male, forcing them to fantasize over something they could never get, or ever become. 

FuelMix has often said that diversity in Fagland is a myth and that fags are some of the most vicious exclusionists anywhere. It’s one of the damning indictments of fags that their petty egos (which often have a wounded history), become the arbiters of visual and sexual acceptability. 

The ego isn’t it fags. In fact, of all the addictions that define the modern urban fag, the ego is the largest, the most serious and the most expensive. It loves to demand and it loves to wound – and when it gets wounded, watch out, it just turns nasty. 

Originally published 5 October 2007.  
Amended and Republished 4 November 2011 | 8 November 2014

Copyright © 2006 – 2014 FuelMix All Rights Reserved