GAMs In The Sauna
A compendium of FuelMix's observations about GAMs in the sauna taken from here, there and everywhere. Lighten up fags, we all love Orientals. Here we go...
You know there’s GAMs in the sauna when:
1. Someone brings their mobile phone into the Dry Sauna and yaks to their friends while waiting for someone to show interest in them;
2. That tinkling noise you hear in the Steam Room is one of them pissing on the floor, or better still, on the bench where someone will shortly sit;
3. That sucking noise you hear coming from a private room is the slurping of cup noodles not cock;
4. You get earnest grins hoping they won’t get rejected;
5. You get a parade of scowls after they’ve been rejected;
6. Somebody walks into the glory hole booth and stands there with their towel on, wasting valuable real estate – effectively leaving up to 3 booths unusable;
7. A slant eyed type in the thickly misted Steam Room, pushes his face inches from yours to find out what you look like - and you discover the meaning of nearsightedness and oral hygiene;
8. You’re amazed at the most outrageous pubic hair on an otherwise hairless dude;
9. You feel the swirl of spit and mucous around your toes in the shower and realize that the drains have been clogged by constant hawking;
10. You find used towels thrown in the trash bin;
11. You get tired of being propositioned with “you faah [sic] me?” or “you suck my pennys [sic]?”
12. That scratching noise you hear outside your private room while you’re fuckin’ someone, is one or more of them trying to peep, or worse, pry the door open;
13. That agitated “tsk” “tsk” sound you hear in the corridors as you walk past, is one or more of them attempting not to be interested in you;
14. That guy who puked up in the Steam Room while trying to suck your cock, angrily accuses you of not telling him it would be so big;
15. You walk past the video room and notice that the 3 couches have been taken up by 3 guys sprawled across each one pretending to be asleep, and that 6 other guys are standing there getting really annoyed;
16. You notice one skinny dude sitting quietly in the hot tub and realize everybody left him there and nobody’s gonna get in until he leaves.
17. A dude you’ve politely rejected each time he pawed you 5 times in a row, suddenly bolts in a yellow blur;
18. You get glared at by recently rejected disgruntled types, getting their revenge on you by hogging the free computers while ogling western porn and surfing chat rooms;
19. You see fat, middle aged white bait;
20. That chronic voyeur who’s been sticking to you watching you get serviced, does an immediate “stand and model” and jerks his head the other way each time you make eye contact – but follows you around the whole time;
21. That chain-smoking twink is as skinny as the cigarettes he's smoking.
22. That unidentified hand in the Steam Room that thinks it’s jacking you off, hasn’t realized that true jacking off is sliding a well lubricated steady grip up and down a rock hard shaft – not jerking your corpus cavernosa out of your pubic bone and leaving you impotent for 20 minutes;
Originally published 11 March 2009.
Amended and Republished 19 November 2011 | 13 April 2017
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I am wondering about your use of “Oriental”. In German, we use it only dated for people from the Orient (i.e. eastern Mediterranean area up to Persia). In other languages, it is applied to other areas of Asia and people living therein.
ReplyDeleteThe use of oriental to describe people of some parts of Asia is higly ambiguous. I would never call a Chinese Oriental, obviously you do.
From my point of view, there is a need to distinguish between the various people who inhabit Asia, therefore I stress that I feel sexually attracted to Far-East-Asians (Japanese, Chinese, Thai) but not to Indians, Arabs, Persians, Russians who live in Asia as well.
There might be ambiguity in the general use of the word "Oriental". For example, Hong Kong for many years was referred to as "The Pearl Of The Orient" or the formerly named "Northwest Orient Airlines" hubbed in Seattle but flying to the Far East.
ReplyDeleteChinese, Japanese and Koreans would broadly describe themselves as Orientals in everyday conversation. Other races such as Vietnamese, Laotian, Kampuchean, Thai, Malay, Indonesian, Filipino would not. They might call themselves "Asian".
It's unlikely that Russians would be called "Asians", although the Russian region around Manchuria and North Korea is referred to in foreign policy journals as North East Asia; with Siberia and the Kamchatka Peninsula being called the Russian Far East.