Pink Dollar Mafia 5

SERIES COMPLETED 2 MAY 2017

 

Doing Business With Fags

A True Story And A Warning 

Number 1

Fags As Business Partners

 FuelMix would like to relate a true story of doing business with a fag.

1.  Once Upon A Time...

1.   Fag approached FuelMix and others to invest several tens of thousands of dollars in a restaurant in Fagland that fag would operate. FuelMix did his research and found that the space had been the site of several unsuccessful restaurants. That was puzzling.  For all the ballyhoo about the Pink Dollar, the captive market in the gay ghetto and the high pedestrian traffic, why were a succession of restaurants in the same premises failing....?  There was only one way to find out.  And that was to be Counter-Intuitive and put some very minimal financial skin in the game and observe the participants.


2.  FuelMix's Financial Skin In The Game 

2.   Accordingly, FuelMix radically reduced the intial amount that he was prepared to invest and told fag to find the rest of the money elsewhere. If and when fag got the rest of the money, FuelMix would think about it again before putting any money in. Fuelmix also demanded and was given, a copy of the commercial lease of the premises that fag had just signed and further demanded to see the management accounts regularly. Fag pouted and went away.

3.  A few weeks later, fag triumphantly delcared he had got the cash and asked FuelMix to contribute.  Instead, FuelMix announced he would further radically reduce his investment to no more than Two Thousand bucks.  A written repayment schedule was to be agreed immediately. Fag pouted and squealed, accusing FuelMix of being a pain in the ass. FuelMix shrugged and said, "take it or leave it." Fag agreed and signed the repayment schedule for Two Thousand bucks. This was going to be interesting. 

3.  Showing Up At The Business

4.   Periodically, FuelMix went to view the renovations at the premises and spoke to the other investors, who, as it turned out, were also fags. They were all mutual friends and had all invested much more cash into this restaurant venture than FuelMix. They bragged that they were "active investors". They repeatedly criticized FuelMix to his face for his passive minimal contribution. Behind his back they referred to FuelMix as the stingy, mean, foreigner who wasn't doing anything to get the restaurant up and running and that he shouldn't even be involved at all.  FuelMix was never invited to mix socially in their group.  His comments on looking at the "accounts" that perhaps the restaurant was burning through its cash too quickly, before opening, were brushed off.

5.  FuelMix observed the extent of the renovations and enquired whether any of the "active investors" had actually read the commercial lease of the premises.  The Landlord's consent was needed for a number of things including structural alterations and certain permits were required from the relevant authorities.  Again, FuelMix warned them about their cash burn rate. The other fags ridiculed FuelMix. They ignored him on the basis that they had invested considerably more time and money than him. Besides, THEY were all "friends" (and apparently living in the bubble named after the sitcom of the same name).

6.  FuelMix shrugged.  Thank goodness only Two Thousand bucks of his was in.  He was being perceived as the bitchy foreign outsider hung up on technicalities.  This was going to be interesting.  FuelMix had the first inkling why these premises, right in the middle of Fagland, were the subject of successive failures. 

4.  Opening Day Approaches

7.  Opening day for the restaurant was approaching.  The "active investors" were in a flurry of activity.  They were there everyday, blabbing to their friends and handing out flyers to pedestrians trumpeting the opening date of the restaurant.  FuelMix was nowhere to be seen, having already written off his Two Thousand bucks. 

8.  Not surprisingly, the Landlord balked at the structural changes that were carried out without its permission and (rightly) demanded that the premises be restored to their original condition.  As a result, the official permits could not be obtained from the Government.  It would cost a lot to structurally restore the premises.  The "active investors" panicked and demanded that FuelMix contribute more.  He refused and reiterated they should have read the commercial lease before having started any work and listened to his comments about the amount of cash being spent. 

5.  The Business Collapses

9.  The restaurant collapsed before it opened. 

10.  On looking at the "accounts" it was clear that there was no way the rent could be paid since most of the invested funds had gone on "decor" and state-of-the-art kitchen equipment.  The premises had notched yet another unsuccessful restaurant. 

6.  The Blame Game

11.  The gay "investor friends" who had invested a ton of cash, quickly turned hostile towards each other.  The blame game commenced.  The fag with the bright idea of starting the restaurant ducked out of sight - after promising to repay FuelMix first for "being soooo understanding.."  FuelMix shrugged.  This had become even more interesting. 

12.  Predictably, that fag disappeared - until FuelMix flushed him out and had a showdown.  Fag became more evasive and FuelMix formally bankrupted him - for Two Thousand bucks.


7.  Epilogue

13.  The gay "investor friends" fell out and their cosy social group shattered.  Harsh words were exchanged when they ran into each other at the bars in Fagland.  Bad blood was everywhere and the flyers trumpeting the new eatery lay scattered on the pavement.

14.  FuelMix finally understood why those premises were recording successive failures.  There was nothing wrong with the premises or their location.  The problem was the people. The gay ones. Period.

• Every one of the other investors was "an awesome friend" (although they weren't quite sure what everybody's surnames were);
• None of them had any prior investing exposure but were happy to throw large amounts of money in straightaway;
• The notion of financial control didn't compute;
• Everyone was "a recreational drug user";
• Decor, Ambience and Cuisine was everything;
• Legal and financial technicalities were boring;
• There was a problem in their attention span;
• No business plan - it would take too long and somebody else might grab the premises.  Besides, they wanted to focus on whether the cuisine should be fusion or nouvelle;
• Other than bitching, which was happily uncensored, nobody could articulate accountability and responsibility;
• Being cavalier with the details was absolutely consistent with the mentality of the generic fag;

15.  Sometimes it's necessary to pay (Two Thousand bucks) for an education just to get to the truth.  Once discovered, the knowledge is priceless.

16.  Since the rent had not been paid, the Landlord took possession of the premises and sold the state-of-the-art kitchen equipment to a group of str8 investors. They took a new lease of the same premises and opened a successful restaurant in the heart of Fagland.  What did the ghetto fags do...?  They boycotted it claiming that the identity of their "community" was threatened.  Meanwhile the str8 customers lined up to get inside.  The food was really good.  The restaurant continued for a few years until a developer bought the building, which was then torn down and replaced with pricey high-rise apartments and str8 people. The fags seethed in resentment.

Originally published 7 June 2006
Amended and Republished 12 April 2014 | 30 April 2017

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