From A Fugly
A reader sent an e-mail with the above mentioned subject line. FuelMix has split it into sections and commented on it in the appropriate places:
Hi FuelMix
I am a typical a HK fugly. I do not have an acceptable body by any proper gay standard. I go to saunas. I would be ignored very much by the fit and athletic. I do not score much in sauna scenes. The odds is like 99 times out of 100 I wouldn't get laid. Sometimes I would go for escorts/masseurs coz I would be exclusively attended to and can forget those pathetic encounters in the saunas. That's very pathetic (and costly).
FuelMix says:
1. Going to a sauna is like going to a casino. You pay your money and you take your chances. It doesn't matter what your body type is. Even muscledudes and hotties (like FuelMix) get ignored - frequently. There's no rational explanation why people get ignored in a sauna, so don't just blame it on your body type.
2. As for there being "any proper gay standard" for an acceptable body type - forget it. That's just a bunch of fags with an opinion that has been institutionalized in the gay media for profit. You might wish to be reminded that the reason fags got into bodybuilding in the 70s and 80s was to offset the weight loss caused by drugs, amphetamines and HIV. That's right buddy, the bodybuilding fag you see strutting on the streets today is descended from those who wanted to hide the fact that they were dying.
3. Given the disease rates and drug use even amongst the bodybuilding fags of today, very little has changed.
4. As for not being laid 99 times out of 100 when you hit the sauna, here's a tip. Next time you wander into a gay sauna, expect nothing. In other words, pretend that you're just there to socialize or watch. Have no expectations whatsoever. The biggest cause of guys not getting any action in the sauna is either their assumptions - or the wrong set of assumptions. When you have none, you don't care either way and the attitude of the fags won't get to you.
5. It's probably dramatic to say that hiring escorts and masseurs is "pathetic". They provide a service for which there's a demand and that's that. Costly yes, pathetic no. If you're not enjoying the escort you're with, then do your research and choose a better one next time.
6. If you're using escorts to simply drown your failures in the gay sauna, then chances are that your expectations are too high when you hit the sauna and also when you meet the escort. In that case, perhaps the best thing to do would be to stop hitting the saunas and the escorts for a few months. FuelMix is NOT a therapist, but it would appear that your definition of sexual success is based on your (lack of) body type. You might find it better to join gay social sports groups in HKG like a soccer club. They welcome all abilities and body types. You'll at least be able to talk to someone and the attitude will be far less that that found in a gay sauna.
7. The truth is a gay sauna is NOT for everyone. And different gay saunas attract different types of people and attitude. Do your research of saunas and other gay social outlets, You may be making yourself miserable in the wrong environment, because you haven't considered alternative venues.
3. Given the disease rates and drug use even amongst the bodybuilding fags of today, very little has changed.
4. As for not being laid 99 times out of 100 when you hit the sauna, here's a tip. Next time you wander into a gay sauna, expect nothing. In other words, pretend that you're just there to socialize or watch. Have no expectations whatsoever. The biggest cause of guys not getting any action in the sauna is either their assumptions - or the wrong set of assumptions. When you have none, you don't care either way and the attitude of the fags won't get to you.
5. It's probably dramatic to say that hiring escorts and masseurs is "pathetic". They provide a service for which there's a demand and that's that. Costly yes, pathetic no. If you're not enjoying the escort you're with, then do your research and choose a better one next time.
6. If you're using escorts to simply drown your failures in the gay sauna, then chances are that your expectations are too high when you hit the sauna and also when you meet the escort. In that case, perhaps the best thing to do would be to stop hitting the saunas and the escorts for a few months. FuelMix is NOT a therapist, but it would appear that your definition of sexual success is based on your (lack of) body type. You might find it better to join gay social sports groups in HKG like a soccer club. They welcome all abilities and body types. You'll at least be able to talk to someone and the attitude will be far less that that found in a gay sauna.
7. The truth is a gay sauna is NOT for everyone. And different gay saunas attract different types of people and attitude. Do your research of saunas and other gay social outlets, You may be making yourself miserable in the wrong environment, because you haven't considered alternative venues.
I am wondering if you would write something for fuglies on how to improve chances in saunas. Is hitting the gym the way for us to 'improve' the score rate? Any tips on fitness as well please? Any gym etiquette for gays huh? (that would be too much then). How can one become a more successful gay?
FuelMix says:
8. OK....now you sound pathetic. Stop describing yourself as Fugly and come up with an alternative description. How about "Mister Average Looking"...?
9. There are no rules to help Fuglies improve their chances in a gay sauna, because a gay sauna is NOT a rational place. Think about this......at any given time in a gay sauna there will be attractive fags, fuglies (like you), fatties, oldies, muscledudes, twinks, miserably married or divorced fags, bisexual fags, bi-curious fags, tourist fags, first-time fags, PLUS a whole list of professions, trades and occupations. And YOU want some tips on how to improve YOUR chances.....???!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!!!!
10. Seriously dude, there are only 10 rules in a gay sauna:
- find cock
- find ass
- find mouth
- find a group
- be an exhibitionist
- get as much action as you can
- leave without being spotted by friends, neighbours and co-workers
- return to the office and look like you came back from a client meeting
- return home - preferably without a flushed guilty look on your face that might elicit questions from the BF or the wife, or the kids or the GF.
- hope you didn't get infected
11. If you're gonna hit the gym and / or hire a trainer, then do it as an investment in your health, not in your vanity. Will it improve your chances in a gay sauna? Maybe, maybe not. It's not your fault and it's not your trainer's fault. It's nobody's fault.
12. Gym etiquette for gays is no different to gym etiquette for str8s. Unless you're in an exclusively gay gym, there is no reason to act like a fag.
13. As for becoming a more successful gay man, read this blog hehehehehehehe....... Seriously, there's a lot in here. Also go to the Amazon.com website and look for books about self-development for gay men. Alternatively, other good writers on personal development are Wayne Dyer, Anthony Robbins and Deepak Chopra.
I read your post about Louise Hay. I would hear what you think. I agree what she says about our lifestyle ('Only the body counts') and mindset. I have read the book 'You Can Heal Your Life Life'- but it says of abstract things and not very practical. The book does not mention much about relationship either I think.
FuelMix says:
14. Louise Hay is brilliant and you are strongly encouraged to read all her books. Her counseling work with gay men and those gays with HIV in the 1980s and 1990s was groundbreaking stuff. FuelMix absolutely agrees that there is a mind-body-emotional connection to disease and self-esteem.
Lastly, I enjoy reading your blog, though sometimes I feel a bit of despair after reading your blog coz I am still a fugly.
Best regards,
C-------------
FuelMix says:
15. Glad you like the blog - regardless of your Fugly looks. It was written to get gay guys to question more and think differently, that's all. We've never claimed to have the answers - or the right answers. But we have observed that too many fags are blindly accepting "the lifestyle" - often with disastrous results in all areas of their lives.
Spread the word, tell your friends. Become an independently thinking gay man - instead of a fag.
Originally published 1 September 2011
Amended and Republished 20 October 2015
© Copyright 2006-2015 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
2011 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
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