In Defence Of Monogamy 2

One of the depressing things when engaging the generic urban fag in conversation, is the cynical flippancy with which they treat their (apparently) significant relationships. 

This flippancy cuts right across educational, class, financial and professional boundaries. Time and time again, the Significant Other is described in a way that suggests he is an acquisition, liable to depreciate in value and open to disposal or trade-in. 

Worse, the relationship comes across as a lingering series of half-truth milestones, assumed or actual deceit, an awkward convention of mutual censorship of “don’t ask don’t tell” or a one-way street of cheque writing. 

There seems to be no attempt by fags to change the way things are. This kind of crippled “relationship” frequently confers bragging rights and the acceptance of other fags – many of whom are in exactly the same position. For some bizarre reason, the fag in the “relationship” is thought of as “stable” and “responsible”. 

FuelMix finds it insane. A relationship is a sacred contract. The term “sacred” has nothing to do with religious dogma. It has everything to do with how much and how seriously 2 men are prepared to invest of themselves physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. 

A relationship is a commitment. And FuelMix has said several times in this blog that fags are shit scared of commitment because the fag lifestyle is one of shallow hedonism. The longer the party lasts and the later is gets, the better everyone looks. 

Torn between a lifestyle of (repetitive, unhealthy) carnal and chemical distractions and gnawing chronic loneliness, the fag compromises at every step. The reasoning goes like this: 

“Yeah, I’m horny so I’ll go to the sauna, fuck my brains out, smoke some crack and weed, do some poppers and maybe I might find someone significant there too. It doesn’t have to be monogamous coz we both met in the sauna right...? We could date and he could move in, or maybe not, but it has to be like………totally open……. coz I’m not ready to commit……but it would be nice to have someone to go to Jerry’s place with on Saturday…..and I’m thinking of going to Bangkok or Puerto Vallarta and I don’t know anybody there……..maybe if he has some money he could pay for both of us……..so we’ll just say that we’re good friends, but kinda “committed”…OMG!! What the fuck does that mean?............ 

Exactly. 

What the fuck does it mean? Nothing actually. There’s no contract, there are no parameters, there’s no investment. But when the fag shows up – alone – at the University of Fag Bar (pending accreditation), he’ll bad mouth the other guy for as long as the drinks keep coming. And all the other idiots will nod and consider him “stable” and “responsible”.

Originally published 14 July 2008

Republished 31 December 2013 | 16 October 2014 | 14 March 2017

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