Spank Me

A right wing politico in God’s Own Country owns a clinic with her husband.  The clinic offers counselling services.  Apparently, the politico’s husband claimed in an interview that gays needed “discipline”.

True to form, a gaggle of politically correct queers descended on the clinic demanding a spanking as part of their “discipline”.  Since neither the politico nor her husband were there, they sprinkled glitter and left.

Yeah,  it’s amusing.  But if one thinks about it, the notion that gays need “discipline” is entirely correct.  Let’s take a random walk down Faggot Lane and find out:

• Mindlessly surfing gay porn for hours – lack of discipline;
• Spewing venom on gay bulletin boards, Facebook and Twitter – lack of discipline;
• Mindlessly hanging out in a gay chat room for hours and / or surfing gay porn at the same time – lack of discipline;
• Constantly checking social networking sites for nothing in particular – lack of discipline;
• Simply ignoring replies to online ads – lack of discipline and lack of courage;
• Constantly lying online – lack of discipline and lack of courage;

• Constantly lying in person – lack of discipline and lack of courage;
• Showing up “fashionably late” – lack of discipline;
• Addiction to cigarettes – lack of discipline;
• Addiction to poppers – lack of discipline;
• Addiction to drink – lack of discipline;
• Addiction to weed – lack of discipline;
• Addiction to amphetamines, crack, crystal, E, K– lack of discipline;

• Making a drama out of mindless gossip – lack of discipline;
• Cheating on your Significant Other without telling him – lack of discipline and lack of courage;
• Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy in a so called “relationship” – lack of discipline and lack of courage;
• Irregular sleeping patterns caused by internet or chemical addiction – lack of discipline;

• Chem-crazed sex in a gay sauna – lack of discipline;
• Unsafe sex – lack of discipline;
• Doing chems at a circuit party – lack of discipline;
• Doing a line over a coffee table or a toilet seat – lack of discipline;
• Cruising for hours on the street plugged into an MP3 player – lack of discipline;
• Throwing a hissy fit when rejected on the street or in the sauna – lack of discipline;

• Hiring a guy to work for your company coz he’s also gay and cute – lack of discipline;
• Professional gays crossing the line between appropriate and inappropriate behaviour – lack of discipline;
• Poor personal financial habits – lack of discipline;
• No life beyond this weekend's after party - lack of discipline;

Whoa fags, that quite a list going on there.  And that’s just in daily living in the life of a generic  fag.  Face it.  We’ve all been guilty of one or more of the above and FuelMix is no saint. 

But the difference between a fag and a thinking gay man is that the fag’s behaviour is marked by a pervasive lack of discipline and cognisance  – and the thinking gay man stops and says, “What will become of me if this continues………?” 

Originally published 28 July 2011.  
Republished 14 June 2012 | 14 September 2014

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