Fuel Injected Male: How To Win (Gay) Friends

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

How To Win (Gay) Friends

FuelMix was at the sauna. Swathed in double fluffy towels he was neatly curled up alone in one of the private rooms, napping contentedly. The piped music was soft. He still had one hour before his next appointment. In the next room was the sound of two fags writhing on the vinyl mattress. Nothing too disturbing.

Then it all went quiet. The music stopped. The writhing in the next room stopped. A voice from the room was heard to say, "I'm NOT gay". Then there was silence.

Another voice from the room responded, "Whaddya mean you're NOT gay?"

1st Voice: I just told you I'm NOT gay so don't fuck me and don't put your finger in my ass OK?

2nd Voice: So what are you doing here?

1st Voice: I'm here to check out the guys.....that's all

2nd Voice: Dude, you were touching me in the steam room and you said, "Do you wanna fuck?" That's why we're in here.

1st Voice: Yeah well I'm checking you out.......

2nd Voice: I don't get what's happening here.....you don't kiss, you don't hug, you don't suck.....hell you're just lying there.....

1st Voice: Yeah I told you I'm NOT gay.....

2nd Voice: You should have said that in the Steam Room. Better still you should have said that at the Reception Desk when you showed up here. What a fuckin' waste of my time....what the hell are you actually doing here anyway?

1st Voice: I just wanna check out the guys that's all......I don't have to be gay to come to a gay sauna you know.....

2nd Voice: Why the fuck didn't you say that earlier...??!! How many other guys here are you leading on...??!!

1st Voice: I'm not leading anyone on. I'm here to see how you gay guys do it in here

2nd Voice: Dude, I've seen you in this sauna at least 4 times and you stay a couple of hours. You haven't learned it by NOW.....???!!!

1st Voice: I'm getting ideas on how to fuck women.....

2nd Voice: Oh jeez.....I'm outta here (sound of door forcibly opened, footsteps thumping down the corridor)

FuelMix sighed, re- arranged his soft fluffy towels and went back to napping, grateful for the blog material. You can't make this stuff up.

Originally published 29 January 2011
Amended and Republished 26 September 2014 | 29 August 2017

Copyright © 2006 – 2017 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
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READERS FEEDBACK

September 2019 "I am in awe at how far ahead of its time this blog is - and how correct its analysis has been on so many fronts. I can understand your disgust at censorship on social media and hope that you will find a way to bring back your writings in a way that will benefit so many gay men."

September 2018 "Your voice needs to be heard."

September 2018 "...love the pithy take on gay life in general and in this city. Often far more to the point than other media. And a more than handy sense on the street for the sauna scene in the city..."

August 2018 "Please allow me to commend you for your service to the gay community for your ongoing analysis and entertainment. I have recommended your blog on many an occasion to unthinking fags who need a metaphorical slap as well as thoughtful guys who I feel would benefit from and enjoy your musings."

March 2018 "...not only is your blog relevant right now, but it is also light years ahead of its time. That is quite an accomplishment."

January 2018 "I find your clarity on issues most illuminating. Your ability to see thru the hypocrisy and double speak of the lame stream media is refreshing."

December 2017 "Have been a huge fan of your site for years."

December 2017 "You got an infectious and intellectual air on topics that I rarely see online."

April 2017 "...your writing is always witty and meaningful."

September 2016 "Thanks so much for your enlightened, enlightening and entertaining blog."

August 2016 "You have set a new and very high standard with the quality of your writings, analysis, a refusal to be politically correct - and your sharp wit. You have contributed highly to those gay men looking for empowering alternatives in a changing world. Your blog is a landmark in gay publishing and deserves a much wider readership."

March 2016 "God bless you FuelMix, for your courage to write the truth with such power and clarity. As I go through your blog, much of what you say resonates with me. I can honestly tell you that your blog has helped me profoundly in my personal development and healing as a gay man."

January 2016 "Your blog gives insight and value to its readers compared to the politically correct fluff found in so many other publications."

January 2016 "Bravo!" You go where others are afraid to go and you do it with intelligence and finesse."

August 2015 "I'm looking forward to your acerbic wit and acid etched observations with great anticipation."

August 2015 "As someone who has tried to blog about various and sundry things at various and random times, I know how hard it can be to feel pressure to produce and to feel motivated and basically to do all the other things it takes to keep a site running. Especially one as entertaining and informative as yours. We all appreciate it even if you don't feel it. Stay awesome."

December 2014 "I love your blog and I think it will stand the test of time. You had a very good process about it that told people the truth even if they didn't want to realize it at the time."

November 2014 "One of the best there is I've seen."

November 2014 "...your efforts HAVE served a significant purpose for a great many gay men on a global level. You have identified and articulated the fundamental tenets of urban gay life that are unsustainable - the tenets that can divide, marginalize, deceive and ultimately kill us - and courageously demonstrated an alternative way to be.

You have created a new and important paradigm for those brave enough to commit to it, and live it, every day of their lives.

Your voice is prescient, insightful, entirely unique and entirely timely and topical. I am grateful to have been fundamentally changed by it."

November 2014 "You've provided a wonderful service to your readers; I must have recommended your work to a couple dozen people on this last work stint, many of whom in my opinion were making poor choices."

November 2014 "You have a great gift for recognizing life's ironies and for expression."

November 2014 "..you've said much that most would not do so publicly. You've also validated the perspective held by many of us."

September 2014 "Thanks for your blog. Your philosophies strangely match my own, which is both nicely comforting and a bit sad. You know, because that's what truth does."

August 2014 "...I'm very glad you write about the emptiness of the materialistic, drug-heavy, gay lifestyle. You do come very close, if not spot on, in many instances..."

February 2014 "..... I would not under-estimate your influence among a wide swathe of an influential segment of the gay population. Your blog's unique mix of insightful financial and political commentary combined with unabashedly ribald sexual reportage result in a very entertaining read."

January 2014 ".....you've saved a lot of us time and literally, our dignity and soul with your provoking posts."

January 2014 "Keep doing your blog.....others have just come across it and I've been told 'he says what we are all thinking but afraid to say'. Your words are truth and provoke thought."

January 2014 ".....your site offers intelligent social commentary not found elsewhere."

January 2014 "You write very well and you have something to say that is different and worth hearing."

November 2013 "Been reading your blog which I can quickly say is now one of my favourites."

September 2013 "Recently, I came across your blog.....Ever since, I've been addicted and hooked. As a 22 year old Asian guy, you say everything that I have always felt and thought and dissected it down to something palpable. I feel a lot wiser after reading your blog....."

August 2013 "I am a fan of your blog. Your view of things mirror mine and your wit is quite refreshing."

July 2013 "No doubt a fun and provocative blog....(in fact, one of the best things I stumbled upon on the Internet, amid all that abuse, rubbish and madness that fills so much of it)."

July 2013 "I've been reading your blog for three years, FuelMix, and it has quite honestly saved my life - as well as the lives of at least two other friends of mine, ostensibly once part of the "community", who woke up in time, saw the writing on the wall and, through extricating themselves of a good deal of psychic wreckage.......escaped alive and whole."

June 2013 "As a proud gay Asian, it's refreshing to read an intelligent Asian based blog like yours with a global readership. Your insights give Asian gay men a real advantage and alternative to the screwed up politically correct agenda spewing from the West."

June 2013 "Whatever you do, don't stop. I think what you do, needs to be said."

May 2013 "Reading your blog again after a while and have to say it is very much enjoyable. It gives just the right slap to all the gays in the midst of all the stereotypical obsessions, and makes us think on the values we really should be focusing on. Keep up the great work."

February 2013 "Thanks a million for your blog and your impeccable writing skills. My five years in HK wouldn't have been that much enjoyable without them!"

December 2012 "...... I have been reading through your blog over the last couple of days, and I have found it extremely well written and interesting. You are always thought provoking (even if I don't always agree with you or find your tone slightly too abrasive at times). Still, I think it is a fascinating read and I dearly hope that you will keep up the good work."

November 2012 ".....I came across your blog. This is well written and great stuff - congratulations."

October 2012 "I read your blog regularly, it's entertaining and illuminating."

August 2012 "I read through some of your articles and found them beyond insightful......"

August 2012 "I love your blog and have recommended it to everyone I know."

July 2012 "Just started reading your blog and wanted to say it is really interesting and well written."

June 2012 "...I want to express my thanks for your blog. I know it would be helping many guys."

June 2012 "Love your blog and your economic perspective."

April 2012 "I am a big fan of your blog and have followed it closely".

March 2012 "I've never witnessed such a degree of frightening insight - both personal and also in a global sense - that has resonated with me .....Your comments on the nature of the gay "lifestyle" and the subsequent emptiness and futility it engenders are apt, and your sardonic...... observations are also very personally cathartic. Despite this perhaps not being a key intention of yours, your writing has also validated my own misanthropy with regard to the gay community...."

February 2012 "Your blog is very interesting. I find highly intelligent and insightful text to be a very satisfying read. You have an incisive edge..."

February 2012 "I love your blog, delving head-on into issues that few others have the guts to address. Your insights into gay culture and politics have been a real eye opener!"

February 2012 "....insightful and caustic and I love your take on things."

January 2012 "...an exceptional blog.....lively and well written"

January 2012 "This blog is amazing....It's also nice to see someone who does a lot of research and has a great knack for writing, which is pretty rare from bloggers these days."

October 2011 ".....smart and insightful blog posts about saunas and gay life......."

October 2011 "Keep up the excellent work. Your style is most engaging and your opinions refreshing."

September 2011 "...I must confess, I'm a fan! You've become a sort of mentor with your matter-of-fact and witty insights."

September 2011 "...a lot of your blog posts are just right on. Some are painfully accurate..."

September 2011 "...absolutely blown away by your blog. Truly there's nothing else like it out there."

May 2011 "I'm a gay Sociology student. Your gritty observations and powerful writing style are more informative than textbooks on homosexuality. I have been researching deep into your blog and am using it as a resource on contemporary gay behavior and attitudes."

March 2011 "...really cutting edge."

"......intelligently controversial and courageous."

".....a fine unique gay blog packed with information and insight."

"....absolutely first class writing and commentary..."

"Thank you for writing your brilliantly iconoclastic blog which I am so happy to have found."

"I have been lurking on your site for a few years now. Enjoy your writing style, although you can be harsh to white guys, but we end up deserving most of it."

"I am commenting chiefly to humbly request that you continue writing your most excellent and utterly unique blog, please, Fuelmix Sir, which I have only recently had the good fortune to discover."

"Your blog was a great read and very spot on."

"We gather around computer terminals in the gay bar to read your postings. They can really start a lively conversation."

"....the Principles of Faggotry series is just epic!"

".....will scare the shit out of the shallow generic gay man."

"....a ruthless and well-written gay blog that forces the reader to sit up and take notice."

"LOL...I’m a self loathing queer, and found your insights great! Keep up the good work!"

"...the world's most politically incorrect gay blog....required reading for men becoming more than just flaky urban queers."

"... sharp anecdotes. Makes you wince and admit that you did the same thing or knew gay men who did exactly that."

"Brilliantly written, intelligent and mercilessly observant..."

"You have written the cruise missile of gay blogs - sleek, deadly and deadly accurate. I love it!!"

"It's like you've psychically tuned in to the collective dissatisfaction that so many gay men have felt for so long but didn't know how to say it...until now. It really is time for a new gay paradigm and you're blazing forward forcing us all to re-think...."

LOOKING FOR STUFFING?

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"......eagerly awaiting more sauna reviews with the detail, wit and cogency that only you can command."

Wanna submit your feedback on FuelMix's HKG Gay Sauna Review? Write to: fuelinjectedmale@live.hk

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Tuesday, August 29, 2017

How To Win (Gay) Friends

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