Glory Daze, Golden Showers

FuelMix was chatting to a gay acquaintance about trolls in the sauna – which for the purposes of this posting will be defined as elderly fags who won’t take a polite "No thanks” for an answer. FuelMix related an anecdote about an encounter with a sauna troll: 

While FuelMix was parading around on Nude Nite, a troll locked on to him and simply wouldn’t let go. Troll began to play with himself as he dogged FuelMix down the corridors, into the video lounge, through the locker area, around corners, in the dark room......  

Wherever FuelMix stopped,Troll stopped, usually inches away. Several times, FuelMix smiled politely and said, “not right now, thanks”. Being well brought up, and generally respectful of his elders,  FuelMix didn’t see the need to be viciously negative, preferring to assume Troll would get the hint. 

But no…Troll was in hot pursuit. Polite refusals had failed and Troll was brazen, leering and groping at FuelMix. Several times, Troll jammed his foot in the door of private rooms in which FuelMix and another buddy were about to play. Other times, Troll would simply show up and stand next to whomever FuelMix was chatting. 

It was getting too much. 

At one end of the sauna were oversized glory holes spaced about 24 inches apart. Fags would stand there waiting to be serviced, or kneel offering service.   

FuelMix checked out the action at the glory holes.  Each time, Troll would scurry in and kneel down. Each time, FuelMix would pull away, with only seconds to spare. 

Troll was an utter nuisance. FuelMix put his brain to work. 

FuelMix had been drinking several cans of his favourite beverage. He was wary of going to the urinals for fear of being cornered by Troll. But sooner or later, he’d have to piss. But where...? 

FuelMix returned to the glory holes and had become marginally smarter. Instead of standing directly in front of a glory hole, he stood in the 24 inch solid space that separated the glory holes, expecting Troll’s arrival at any time. 

On cue, in scuttled Troll. But Troll had become exponentially smarter, covering his head and face with a towel, which he then stuck through the glory hole on FuelMix’s left. Not finding the cock of his dreams there, he then stuck his hooded head through the glory hole on FuelMix’s right. 

FuelMix was aghast and yet overcome with gales of laughter. Was this Troll so fuckin’ stupid that he didn’t think FuelMix would recognize him...? 

Back and forth between the 2 gloryholes, Troll went, bobbing his hooded head in and out, getting increasingly frustrated, knowing fully well that FuelMix was safely positioned in the 24 inch solid space between the glory holes. 

Finally, FuelMix could control neither his laughter nor his piss any longer, Once more, Troll stuck his towel-hooded head through the glory hole on the left and FuelMix let him have it: a golden stream of nectar hit the toweled head. Troll froze, not quite knowing what had hit him. He jerked his head away and stuck it the hole to the right. Another piss stream hit him. Troll yanked the towel off his head and received a piss spritzer in his face.

Reality bit and Troll backed away, muttering, wiping his head and face with a piss soaked towel. FuelMix gratefully hit the urinals and was not bothered by the Troll for the rest of the evening.

Orignally published 8 April 2007

Amended and Republished 5 September 2011 | 1 August 2017

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