Gay Sauna Etiquette 21

Sent in by a reader today:

Hi, Fuelmix, 

I'm 22, a reasonably good looking Asian-Aussie, and I frequent ABC sauna while I'm in HK. There is a Asian guy who frequents the place, who's been there every time I have, from what seems like opening to closing time. He looks like a small young boy from a distance, but is probably in his early 40s. He's thin, with muscle, has multiple necklaces with stuff on and some piercings, and always wears his towel short. I do my best to ignore him, and he knows I'm not interested, but he can't take 'no' for an answer, and usually insists on touching me and playing with me, even after I walk away or avoid him countless times or am spending time with another guy. One time, I was being fucked in the playroom and he ran in and yelled from the sling room next door "Fuck you!" - I wasn't sure if it was to me or my partner. He did it twice, and muttered something in Cantonese. When I walked out he was at the computer looking pissed. Sometimes he storms out of the steam room looking angry. 

It turns out other regulars know him and basically think he's disgusting and a bit of a creep. He sits there looking at pornography and then makes rounds through the steam room and dry room, and seems to basically gives unwelcome attention to everybody. He's not even a very good bottom - I can hear him protesting loudly in pain the rare times he gets a room with someone. 

I don't know how regularly you visit ABC, but do you know this guy? He makes me uncomfortable and there are some regulars at ABC I really enjoy, but this guy seems nutty. How do I avoid pissy guys that don't take the hint? I don't want him banned or anything, I just want him to leave me alone. 

Any advice would be good, but I understand if it seems a bit trivial. Keep up the blog!


FuelMix says:

1.  Yeah....we think we know the one you mean.  He's also a chain smoker.  ABC appears to be his favourite haunt - we'd heard from others that he stays for hours - and, if we're talking about the same guy, we  spotted him a few times in Big Top (although FuelMix hasn't been to Big Top in nearly 6 months).

2.  This local Chinese guy goes for younger Chinese guys whom he hopes are Tops, or chases "hunky" white guys whom he automatically assumes are Tops.  He has a high failure rate, squeals like a baby and often emerges from a room - just a few minutes after entering it - with a really sour look on his face.  The guy he was with, looks similarly pissed off.

3.   He alternates between chain smoking, porn watching, leaning against a wall and very aggressive cruising.   

4.  The reality is that there will always be pissy guys in the sauna. As for them being banned, that would only happen for drug use or trafficking or possibly, if they were overtly aggressive moneyboys.

5.  If he's clearly not your type and bugs you repeatedly when you show up, the best approach is the direct one.  Tell him to his face you're not interested at all and that he is not to touch you again.   If you really want to make an impact - particularly if you've been the subject of his verbal abuse - you can confront him when he's porn surfing and tell him where he can stick his behaviour. The computer screens in ABC are right outside where the staff sit.  Speak in a loud enough voice and your message will come through loud and clear to those who should know about it  **snicker**.

Thanks for writing in.