My Way Sauna 14

COMPLETED 1 JULY 2016

4th Floor, Kuo Wah Building
340 Hennessy Road
Wanchai
Hong Kong

MTR: Wanchai, Exit A4 - but it's a long walk;  OR Causeway Bay, Exit B
My Way is actually about 5 minutes walk from Action Sauna in Causeway Bay.

Telephone: 25749098
Website: http://www.mywayjungle.com/ 

Price: Standard Entry HK$150.00  | Under 25 HK$70.00
Open 24 hours

Note:
1.  My Way Sauna and Jungle Sauna are under the same ownership;
2.  Staff may or may not speak passable English;
3.  All prices and promotions are in Chinese on their website;
4.  My Way Sauna and Jungle Sauna are open 24 hours; 




12 weeks after his last visit, FuelMix showed up.  The place fills up fast after 6pm when the office boys and college guys arrive.  Lots of gym fit GAM bodies, some very muscular. Some GAMs had attractive faces. Less chubs than before, some really skinny guys with ugly faces - and a solitary, grim looking older, fat white guy who appeared to be in his 60s.

The attitude..? Yeah, as always. Lots of pretty bodies, slant eyes, sour faces. Lots of head swiveling and **tsk** **tsk** noises.

But surprise, surprise, FuelMix got action 4 times.  How did that happen..??

1.   The first one started outside the building.  A cute, tanned, local GAM Twink, who was also on his way to My Way (although FuelMix didn't know that) made eye contact along Hennessy Road and smiled shyly a few times.  Nothing was said even though he was walking alongside. The Twink was slightly surprised that FuelMix knew where MyWay was (it's in a side alley) and was too shy to take the lift together, opting for the stairs whilst looking over his shoulder, wondering whether FuelMix was indeed going to the same place.

FuelMix reached MyWay first and started undressing.  A few moments later the Twink arrived, made eye contact and smiled some more.  "Hmmm..." thought FuelMix, "this could get interesting and so soon....in My Way....??!!"

The Twink and FuelMix undressed and headed to the shower.  Not a word was said but the Twink was checking FuelMix out.  FuelMix headed to the TV lounge to chill and the Twink followed.  He sat next to FuelMix, a respectable distance apart.  There was silence for a little while and then the Twink spoke in impeccable English....


"Can I sit next to you and touch your body...? I like your muscles and skin colour.." The Twink sidled over and began to stroke and kiss FuelMix's bod. A few minutes later, the Twink suggested a private room where FuelMix received a really good, but very gentle servicing and a light massage.

2.  A 20-something GAM with glasses was lying face up in the partitioned porn area with the windows.  He didn't say much other than sticking his tongue out and licking his lips. He beckoned FuelMix to come over and sit on his face. Needless to say, the passing GAMs all stopped and gawked.  After a few minutes, the servicing GAM shot his load and grinned.

3.  2 sucking and body worship encounters in the very Dark Area by mouths unknown.

So all things considered, a pleasantly surprising report on My Way.

• Readers may submit reviews of gay saunas in any Asian city;
• We reserve the right NOT to publish reviews we deem suspicious, inaccurate or self-serving;
• FuelMix no longer gives personalized sauna advice; 

 © Copyright 2006-2016 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
 

"Take Toys" Sex Product Supermarket

1/F, 38-40 Jardine's Bazaar
Causeway Bay
Hong Kong
Tel: 2191 0698
MTR: Causeway Bay Station, Exit F1

Opening Hours: 11am - 12 midnight
Web: www.taketoys.net

Note:  Other shops also in Jordan and Sham Shui Po.  Check the website.




On a massively hot humid afternoon, FuelMix was in Causeway Bay, emerging from MTR Exit F1 coincidentally catching some very sexy and very suntanned male eyecandies standing outside the Forever 21 shop. (Hint:  The minibus to the "famous" Middle Bay Beach is apparently available from Jardine's Bazaar).

Heading down Jardine's Bazaar to finish his shopping, he happened to glance upwards at the other side of the street and saw an enormous rectangular sign proclaiming, "Sex Shop", with an adjacent large plate glass window playing a video overlooking the street.

"Huh..?", thought FuelMix, "I don't remember seeing this when I was here a few weeks ago.  Better go check it out for blog research".

Crossing the street and entering the building, it was clear that "Take Toys" was loudly proclaiming its existence, with suggestive posters festooned along the staircase walls.

The shop itself (which opened under 2 months ago) is well laid out with an all-white colour scheme. Given that the other locations of their shops are in Jordan and Sham Shui Po, it appears that their target clientele is the very average Mr or Ms Wong probably in their 20s or 30s, curious about their sexuality, some disposable income and just getting around to saying the Cantonese equivalent of "vibrators".

And they're tons of vibrators in that shop.  Whilst there is a small selection of metal cockrings (on the wall beside the main counter) and dildos for the boys (at the far end of the shop), the product range of porn, lingerie, one-size-fits-all really weird g-strings for men, cheaply priced so called "vacuum" pumps, fleshy and cheaply priced innocent looking masturbation sleeves for men, tends to slant towards the hetero client.

But don't let that put you off. Check the place out, you might find something.  The prices are some of the cheapest in town and truth be told, we kinda liked the cheaply priced, portable, lightweight, slim, innocent looking masturbation sleeves (no batteries required, easy to clean).  Perfect for use while idling in the gay sauna or just carrying it around town in your gym bag or back pack for use when bumping into a friend or when an opportunity presents itself. (Yeah.....FuelMix has that kinda mind, get over it, it's healthy.  He carries his own condoms too and so should you).

Time your visit to the shop just right, and you might get assisted by the really geeky 20 something Chinese male who doesn't speak much English, but whilst walking around with you, will point out the female Japanese porn stars he jacks off to - courtesy of the silicone replicas of their ass, pussy and mouth....all conveniently for sale. He took particular pride in showing pics of their faces covered in cum.  And that slightly crazed grin of his has to be seen to be believed.

Just don't whine that we didn't warn you.

UPDATE 24 JUNE 2016:  A reader informed us that on Thursdays, there is another 20 something Chinese guy there.  He wears glasses and speaks really good English.

© Copyright 2006-2016 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Dead Man Talking

FuelMix has no problems turning mens heads.  Although..... .some men are better at hitting on him than others. 

Case in point:

Divorced elderly white fag made a beeline for FuelMix at the University of Fag Bar (pending accreditation).  He was into foreign jockboys and FuelMix fit the part. He gushed effusively and earnestly, craving permission to worship FuelMix and swallow his load. He suggested somewhere quiet and revealed he owned a successful business which, after hours, was a perfect location to lovingly adore FuelMix’s muscled bod.

Fag: It’s not too far from here. Since I’m the owner, I’m the only person with the key

FM: I see...

Fag: Nobody can come in and nobody can say anything...

FM: Sounds interesting...

Fag: I’m dying to worship you…..you’re gorgeous…..

FM: Thanks…..what kinda business you in...?

Fag: I’m the director of a funeral home...

Originally published 3 May 2006

Amended and Republished 3 September 2011 | 30 September 2014 | 11 June 2016

Out On The Dance Floor

 A reader sent this asking for feedback (Underlining and bold print by FuelMix):

Hey FuelMix 

I'm just writing to vent a little bit and I hope you support me by perhaps adding your views and sharing this.

My gay friend thought it would be nice to visit some of the 'mainstream' clubs and bars after weeks of non-stop work at the office. So he brings his date with him to Club B------ in the Lan Kwai Fong clubs & bars district in Central for the drinks and music; they pay their HKD $400.00 as cover charge and get in. After a night of dancing and drinking, things get a little hot and my friend decides to give his date a kiss on the dance floor (pretty standard). [Scenes from Katy Perry's MV: "Firework" come to mind] Moments later, two bouncers come sauntering over requesting that they leave the premises immediately on the basis that "this is not a gay bar". 

This is ridiculous! In this day and age, in Asia's WORLD City; where the city thrives on diversity and global networking, it is absolutely appalling that this happened. What's even more upsetting is the attitude of most of the people I've told: "Well, it's expected!"; "What did you expect? You shouldn't be kissing in a straight [club]"; "Even if you sue them, they're just [going to] get away with it. It's Hong Kong after all".

My friend doesn't seem to want to "cause any trouble", but I'm all for suing them for every dime left in their sorry, gaycist pockets. If there's any way we can get this known and do something about it...I'm all ears!


FuelMix says:

1.   You’re wrong.  The bouncers were correct in throwing your gay friends out of the club for kissing on the dance floor.  Bouncers get paid for spotting trouble before it happens.  If your gay friends were left alone for too long to kiss on the dance floor of a str8 club, when the bouncers finally did arrive, the first question the 2 gay guys would have asked would be, "We've been kissing like this for the last 30 minutes, why are you only showing up now to throw us out?"

2.   An overpriced str8 club is a breeder’s pit.  It’s neither a gay bar nor a gay club.  The clientele to whom they market and attract is entirely different to that of a gay club.  Provided they are not acting illegally, the str8 club is fully entitled to impose a standard of behavior on its customers.  If they deliberately barred gay men from entering the club, that would have been "gaycist".

3.   Gay men go to str8 clubs all the time.  Str8 breeders have also been seen in fag clubs.  But when str8 couples start swapping spit on the dance floor in a fag club, FuelMix has witnessed them being thrown out.  And rightly so.  FuelMix has also seen str8s being thrown out of a fag bar for making out and pissing off the fags.

4.   Being there isn’t the problem.  It’s crossing the line as to what is acceptable behavior in that context.  Ask your gay friends who were in the club that night, how many bisexual guys did they see kissing pussy and cock simultaneously on the dance floor?   None.  Why....?  There would have been Bi guys there no doubt, but they kept the Bi bit of themselves under wraps for the time they were there.  If they didn't score pussy, those Bi guys would have fled to the nearest gay bar/club and gotten down n' dirty over a Vodka Lime in no time.

5.   Your 2 gay friends did the wrong thing, at the wrong time at the wrong place.

P.S. FuelMix is prepared to acknowledge an inherent hypocrisy:  If it had been 2 pussies kissing on the dance floor in the str8 club, a crowd would have gathered around and cheered them on. The 2 womens' actual sexual orientation would have been irrelevant to the "show".

Originally published 14 March 2011
Amended and Republished 9 June 2016

Copyright © 2006 – 2016 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Gay Pop Fade Out 2

3.   1990s
4.   1990s to 2000s: Gay Pop Music To Gay Pop Culture
5.   2000s - Present:  What The Fuck Happened..?


3.   1990s

1.   Whilst Grunge Rock and Indie were big, gays had an impact in the pop scene - although they may or may not have been Out.  (Ricky Martin, George Michael,  RuPaul the drag queen, singer and model, the British and American Boy Bands members of whom were rumoured to be gay).  

4.   1990s & 2000s - Gay Pop Music to Gay Pop Culture 

1.   Also in the 1990s, something massive happened.  Gays moved from influencing pop music to influencing pop culture.  This was done via TV shows, sitcoms, gay topics on daytime chat shows. Remember Northern Exposure? In Living Colour? Absolutely Fabulous? Ellen? Will and Grace? Frasier? Queer As Folk - originally a British gay series subsequently adapted and remade into an American one?). 

2.   What about hunky underwear models on billboards and glossy mags rumoured to be gay, others gay-for-pay?  Part of the deliberate buzz was to speculate on their abdominal exercises, cock size and sexuality.  It was no accident that new fitness magazines - actually intended for gay men but ostensibly mass marketed - appeared in the 1990s.  

3.   Bisexual-porn exploded. "Gay" porn stars openly did MMF and cross-over porn. So did the mega-gay international circuit parties with celebrity gay DJs. Gay travel became an established, sophisticated niche market, bragging about the power of the Pink Dollar. Gay clubs complained that  str8s packed the joint because the dance music was better.

4.   It was impossible to get gay guys out of one's face.  Was it due to a loosening of attitudes and the goodwill of social acceptance?  FuelMix thinks the surge was cynically manipulated by the Gay Media - particularly in God's Own Country where they influence TV,  films and fashion. 

5.   Think about it. AIDS had killed gays since the early 80s.  Gays were despised and discriminated against. The Right-Wing Morality Milita had a 20 year field day in vilification. Something had to be done to rehabilitate the image of gay men.  Tons of money  poured into the media to repackage and reinvent the gay man as a potential male supermodel, or the cute guy next door living in a quirky sub-culture of fuckable gym bunnies, or the sensitive cafe going type, or the high net worth power of the Pink Dollar. Muscle, Masculinity, Money and Sensitivity. Worked brilliantly. 

5.   2000s - Present :  What The Fuck Happened..? 

1.   The article mentioned in Part 1 bemoans the near absence of gay influence on pop music from the early 2000s to date. Yeah, there are gay artists like Adam Lambert, Rufus Wainwright or gay front men like Jake Shears in Scissor Sisters, (and the closeted ones from the 70s, 80s and 90s have been Outed). But it is the str8 bands that have been, and still are, getting the huge commercial success. Gaga's "gay" pronouncements are neither pop music nor pop culture.  The article thinks this was due to either a continuing social acceptance of gays or an underlying current of homophobia that was gradually coming to the surface.  

2.   FuelMix disagrees.

3.   Gay Mafia / Gay Media, having rammed Faggotry down people's throats, moved to Stage 2 - the enforced Politcial Correctness of Gayness. Again,  think about it.  In  certain countries in the West, one can hardly say anything about gays without looking over one's shoulder.    There's no shortage of gay "activists", "advocacy groups", "media watchdogs", "employment monitors" (i.e. whose the most gay friendly company to work for...?) "government lobbyists", "political fundraisers" blah blah blah.  In 50 years, gays have morphed from a culture of defiant creation to a culture of political sycophants and suppression - both of themselves and the population at large.  It's stunning to observe the near-universal outwardly Liberal leanings of these groups, combined with an entitlement mentality, near-Fascist zeal to outlaw candid expression and enquiry.  

4.   It's not surprising that homophobia might be on the rise in mainstream society.  If so, it explains the Band Aid measures - e.g. It Gets Better - with the usual assortment of celebs cooing words of assurance or attempting to make Pride more "inclusive".  

5.   More importantly it explains the hitherto silent but growing number of gay men who know in their gut that these advocacy groups don't speak for them; who wonder what the fuck happened to the thrill of gay culture over the last 20 years; and who suspect - like FuelMix has said before - that in order to be a successful gay man on your terms, you have to be homophobic towards the culture of censored gay mediocrity that is being presented as the template of thought and action.

Originally published 15 March 2012
Rebpublished 31 December 2013 |  28 May 2014 | 9 June 2016

Copyright © 2006 – 2016 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Gay Pop Fade Out 1

1.   1970s
2.   Late 1970s and 1980s

"At a time when being gay was illegal, and the only way to live as an out gay man was to work in the theatre or as a hairdresser, pop management offered a new opportunity. So a lot of gays started to dabble in it." 

-----Simon Napier-Bell, Manager of the 1960s group, The Yardbirds quoted in Straight and narrow: how pop lost its gay edge, by Alexis Petridis, The Guardian, 28 February 2012. 

1.   The rationale of the article quoted above, is that gay men, persecuted in the 50s and 60s for their sexuality, not only caught the wave of rock and roll and pop, but in their capacity as Managers of the groups, actively encouraged flamboyance and defiance.  As Napier-Bell put it:

"Faced with the absurdity of being a criminal just because your dick faced the wrong way, gays didn't have much respect for other aspects of the law, drugs included. And groups were encouraged to do outrageous things to publicise themselves."

2.   Why were pop groups drawn to gay managers in the first place? The article says that's a moot point.  But the Mod movement in England of the 1950s (from which some of these bands came), had a pronounced gay / socially defiant element (the article alludes to the supposedly exciting life of the gay rent boy and the perception that single gay men had a better lifestyle with higher disposable income).  FuelMix wonders whether the newly formed groups in the 1960s were looking to financially escape the dreary post-World War 2 years and saw gay culture and gay socially defiant managers as a source of leverage.

3.   So here's FuelMix's take on this:


1.   1970s

The campiness, flamboyance and experimental androgeny continued into the 1970s (remember the early camp and the then closeted Elton John? or the very str8 but curious looking David Bowie? or KISS?) 


2.   Late 1970s and 1980s

1.   In the late 70s and the 1980s, there were openly gay pop acts (Sylvester, Village People, Bronski Beat, Culture Club, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Pet Shop Boys, Dead Or Alive - mostly from England as it turned out), closeted semi-gay acts like WHAM! and Freddie Mercury of Queen; and closeted solo gay artists (George Michael.)  In addition, the 1980s saw the emergence of specifically-for-gays HiNRG dance music PLUS the emergence of the pop diva adopted by gays worldwide (Remember Bette Midler who got her start in the gay saunas of New York? Diana Ross? Whitney? Cher? Tina Turner? Madonna?) AND the emergence of the Drag Queen from an underground scene fixture to an openly gay icon in the bars or on stage.  Remember the early RuPaul or Divine or Miss Piggy from the Muppets?

2.   Gay political activism was loud, still marginal but had an impact. Remember Stonewall? 

3.   International gay tourism emerged with identifiable must-see gay destinations - Amsterdam, Barcelona, Bangkok, Berlin, Ibiza, Los Angeles, Mykonos, New York, San Diego,  San Francisco, Sydney.  

Coming Up In Part 2: 
  
3.  The 1990s To Now   
4.  What Happened To Gay influence On Pop Music....And Why?

Originally published 11 March 2012
Republished 31 December 2013 | 28 May 2014 | 9 June 2016


Copyright © 2006 – 2016  FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Why (Some) Gay Men Take Meth

Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

 from The Panopticon: Why (Some) Gay Men Take Meth, July 5, 2005


Two of my favorite blogs........recently referenced an article in the Village Voice about the use of crystal meth in the gay community. And boy, did it stir up some debate. This is a good thing.

I'd read the story myself before they posted it, and found I agreed violently with Patrick Moore, the author. He goes beyond merely saying "Drug use is terrible," (that not being news, certainly not to the Voice's readership) and tries to get at the underlying reasons why meth has become such a problem.

His conclusion, greatly simplified, is that gay men are inclined to use drugs not from an inherent moral failing, but because they are often desperate for solace in a world that at best ignores them and at worst seeks to eliminate them.

This is the passage that struck me. Moore is writing of his own experiences with drug and alcohol abuse:

"Had I looked deeper, I would have seen that I had always felt self-destructive and isolated, even from other gay people. I believe many young gay men* still feel that way."

The italics are mine.

I'm going to say something that may be very unpopular. And I don't care. I'm going to say it anyway.

I know guys who have taken or do take meth. A lot of guys. To a man, they have corroborated Moore's point that men who use it are usually doing so to achieve a feeling of connection - of bonding deeply, if temporarily, with a partner. Of belonging to the group of gay men who are desirable and desired. And every one of them made it clear that this feeling was something they couldn't achieve without the drug.

Moore twice brings up the feeling of being isolated from the gay community in his article, yet dwells more on the pressure from the wider, straight world as a negative force on gay men's lives.

Without in any way wishing to disagree with him that homophobia is omnipresent and powerful, I wish to offer the viewpoint that a good deal of the damage suffered by gay men comes from other gay men.
 
Here's an example, a personal one, of just how supportive gay men can be of each other.

I was sorting photocopies in the office hallway the other day when my ears pricked up at the sound of my name. In an office nearby, Colleague A was saying that the t-shirt I'd worn that day showed off my chest, and he was surprised to see that I have a solid build.

I was startled and so flattered that I blushed. Then Colleague B replied, "Yeah. But I guess when you're short and bald and have a face like that, you have to do something."

Colleague A said yes, that's true.

Ouch.

I wasn't suprised, though. When our office has reason to divide into groups - sitting at department events, going out after work for drinks, etc. - the gay men go off by themselves, and I'm not invited. I don't look like they do, or act like they do, and a tacit point had been made well before this conversation that gay or not, I'm not one of them.

Happily, I've had years to come to terms with the fact that I'm not and never have been a Pretty Boy by mainstream gay standards. I'm not blond, hairless, and slim as a willow. I've learned to take comfort in being caviare and catnip to the minority who like men who look like me. As much as one can, in this day and age, be at peace with one's physical appearance, I am.

But it takes years, and a whole lot of crying and hurt feelings, to get to this point. Some guys never get there. The fact is, and this never seems to be mentioned, that there are a lot of gay men who come out and aren't received into the fold with rapture.
These are the guys who aren't particularly good-looking, who may have a weight problem, who are shy in a club setting or aren't quick with a witty remark. These are the guys who happen to be the wrong race at the wrong time, or can't afford to live in the proper ZIP code,** or don't look right in the jeans that are the thing to be wearing this week.

There is a gay ideal, shamelessly pushed and promoted by those who market to the gay community (including our own press) that is as unrealistic for most of us as the supermodel ideal is for most women. Physical perfection is requirement number one.

Don't believe me? Take a look at the covers of gay books and magazines over at Amazon and count the number that feature some variation of a muscular, bare torso on the cover. And I don't just mean books about bodybuilding or sex. I mean books about cooking, decorating, childcare, philately, beekeeping, Esperanto...

The muscular, white, shaved and oiled torso has become universal visual shorthand for "gay." The logical conclusion? Don't have one? You're not really gay.

Some men can't handle this, and no wonder. When the world at large doesn't want to include you, it stings when those who are supposed to be (if nothing else) your comrades in oppression also make it clear you may not join the can-can.

When I was talking about this with Buzz the other day, he made a good point: "Do you really want to be invited to that party?"

No, as it happens, I don't. At my most muscular, I was given a pass to explore the fringes of it and found it dull. But the fact remains that except for persons temperamentally inclined to a hermetic life, everybody needs to feel that he belongs somewhere.

For many guys, it seems like the only place to belong is that perfect circle of shirtless men on the dance floor - the ones who will definitely be photographed for the party pages of the gay newspaper. Everything seems to point to it: you're here, or you're nowhere.***

And when you want desperately not to be nowhere, what's more tempting than a drug that will make you feel your God-given flaws have been erased by a Photoshop filter, and allow you to feel you have a right to membership?

Hell yes, pressure from the straight world at large takes a toll on you when you're gay. And so, sometimes to an even greater extent, does pressure from the gay world.

Beaming Myself Out, Fag

The Phenomenon of "Ghosting"

1.  What Is "Ghosting"?
2.  What FuelMix Said
3.  Ghosting" By Gay Men.....FuelMix Speculates
4.  The Good News:  The Return Of Empathy

 
1.  What is "Ghosting"?

".....a verb that refers to ending a romantic relationship by cutting off all contact and ignoring the former partner’s attempts to reach out."

-----Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment, Valeriya Safronova, The New York Times, June 26, 2015 

2.  What FuelMix Said

(a)  In Principles of Faggotry 82, we said:

"A Screaming Fag is perfectly capable of dishing out the Silent Treatment."

(b)  In Principles of Faggotry 32, we said:

" A dumb fag with a smart phone is a dangerous combination" 

(c)  In Principles of Faggotry 25, we said:

' "The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate."

------Joseph Priestley

.....which explains why every technological advancement in communications, just makes it easier for a fag to lie - as a means of denying communication.

That's also why fags are notorious early adapters of cutting edge communication technology, both as a fashion statement and as a declaration of their complete lack of ethics.'

3.  "Ghosting" By Gay Men.....FuelMix Speculates

Why are gay men doing it.....?

1.   Historical and chronic emotional incapacity and lack of emotional intelligence by so many gay men; 

2.   Emotional perceptions made worse through a variety of substance abuse (masquerading as "recreational drug use");

3.  When faced with a difficult err....pardon...."challenging"  (for our Politically Correct West Coast readers) relationship situation, the average gay man is caught somewhere between Confrontation, Avoidance and Denial.  With "so-many-men-so-little-time", the Oscar Party, the After-Party, the White Party, the Black and Blue Party, Hustlaball, the gym, the hair salon, the tanning salon, that cruisy park, the cash owed to the dealer, Avoidance and Denial are the default response - usually with an ex post facto justifcation to themselves - or an assumption about the other guy -  thrown in for good measure;

4.  A fundamental tenet of Faggotry is casual anonymous sex. Although we have shown that no such thing exists, the gay man's perception of it and his adherence to it, is enough. When something casual appears to morph into something more serious, many gay men don't have the skill set and effectively, panic.  Silence and avoidance are the preferred options;

5.  The more technologically savvy we become, the less we communicate meaningfully. Text messages, Twitter and emoticons purport to convey our thoughts succinctly.  But do they....?  We believe they have contributed to a sharp decline in verbal fluency and grammar.  The immediacy of e-mails encourage a knee-jerk response - which when it goes wrong, is very hard to unravel. In the dynamic of personal relationships,  the combination of technology, lousy grammar, the inability to express oneself and the lack of emotional intelligence, becomes a minefield.  So gay men use technology the only way they know how - through Silence and Avoidance....."Unfriend", "Block", "Report As Spam", "Remove From Whitelist".....change the phone number.  You get the picture.

6.  A Culture of Human Disposability - From about 1999, global television has been - and still is -  awash with "Reality Shows". The basic premise is that somebody has to be kicked out either by judgment or by a vote.  Variations on that theme include back-stabbing, bad-mouthing, acting up, bitching and setting somebody up to fail in order to gloat about it afterwards in a 15 second soundbite.

(ii)  While masquerading as a game (those shows are based around Non-Cooperative Game Playing Theory by the Nobel Prize winning mathematician, John Nash), the intent is clear....... that Emotions and Empathy have no part to play when interacting with others.

(iii)  Television massively manipulates and influences human behaviour.

7.  The combination of all the factors listed in (1) to (6) have contributed to the spread of "ghosting". Essentially, it's an act of Passive-Aggression.  We utterly disagree with The New York Times that "ghosting" is acceptable because it's so widespread.  So is Syphilis.


4.  The Good News:  The Return Of Empathy

1.  When FuelMix looks at the mess that's been made in the world over the last 15 years, he's thankful to be living in the times of the Apocalypse, the true meaning of which is that which has been hidden, is now being revealed. Not only are certain people being embarrassed by revelations, but at a macro level, we are moving through a shift in Energy.  There's gonna be lots more revelations taking place.  Just watch.

2.  When human savagery, abandonment, fraud, deceit, callousness and betrayal reach its nadir, humanity stands at an individual and collective crossroads. Either we descend into personal or societal chaos or, introspection, clarity and resolve kick in.  FuelMix suspects the latter is taking shape and heading towards critical mass.

3.  The writer Neale Donald Walsch, describing why people hurt each other, said the issue is one of education not intent.  We agree.  He said this:

"No one acts inappropriately, given their model of the world.

All attack is a call for help."

-----"Why Do We Hurt Each Other?" Neale Donald Walsch, 22 May 2015, posted on SpiritLibrary.com on 14 August 2015

4.  When applied in the context of "Ghosting", the person doing it knows of no other way to have the experience they desire.  In this case, a sense of resolving the matter as they see fit, without regard to the other person.

5.  To the person on the receiving end of "Ghosting", the hurt can be deep and lingering.  To resolve the pain, Walsch proposes asking the only questions that matter:

"What do you want or need so badly that you feel you have to hurt me to get it...?"

"What is it you want to have, or feel, right now....?

"Is there a way I can help you have that without giving up who I am....? "

6.  Brilliant.  Just Brilliant.  The person hurt by "Ghosting"  is neither putting the blame on himself or the person who abandoned them. All they need to do is silently ask themselves that question and once they realize that nobody is actually out to hurt them they can resolve the hurt independently and move on.

7.   Alternatively, they can physically confront the person who "ghosted" them and put that question in their face.

8.  We agree with Walsch that whether these questions are asked internally by the person who was "ghosted" or actually put to the person who did the "ghosting", they absolutely kill the feeling of being abused and disrespected.  To the person who's been "ghosted" the payoff is tremendous - a feeling of self-empowerment, clarity and resolution.  To the person who's been confronted about his "ghosting" the payoff is one of introspection, clarity and an articulation of their motive.

(But y'all know that a fag confronted about his behaviour just throws a hissy fit.....right....?) *sigh*


Originally published 30 August 2015
Amended and Republished 4 June 2016

 © Copyright 2006-2016 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Gay Sauna Etiquette 21

Sent in by a reader today:

Hi, Fuelmix, 

I'm 22, a reasonably good looking Asian-Aussie, and I frequent ABC sauna while I'm in HK. There is a Asian guy who frequents the place, who's been there every time I have, from what seems like opening to closing time. He looks like a small young boy from a distance, but is probably in his early 40s. He's thin, with muscle, has multiple necklaces with stuff on and some piercings, and always wears his towel short. I do my best to ignore him, and he knows I'm not interested, but he can't take 'no' for an answer, and usually insists on touching me and playing with me, even after I walk away or avoid him countless times or am spending time with another guy. One time, I was being fucked in the playroom and he ran in and yelled from the sling room next door "Fuck you!" - I wasn't sure if it was to me or my partner. He did it twice, and muttered something in Cantonese. When I walked out he was at the computer looking pissed. Sometimes he storms out of the steam room looking angry. 

It turns out other regulars know him and basically think he's disgusting and a bit of a creep. He sits there looking at pornography and then makes rounds through the steam room and dry room, and seems to basically gives unwelcome attention to everybody. He's not even a very good bottom - I can hear him protesting loudly in pain the rare times he gets a room with someone. 

I don't know how regularly you visit ABC, but do you know this guy? He makes me uncomfortable and there are some regulars at ABC I really enjoy, but this guy seems nutty. How do I avoid pissy guys that don't take the hint? I don't want him banned or anything, I just want him to leave me alone. 

Any advice would be good, but I understand if it seems a bit trivial. Keep up the blog!


FuelMix says:

1.  Yeah....we think we know the one you mean.  He's also a chain smoker.  ABC appears to be his favourite haunt - we'd heard from others that he stays for hours - and, if we're talking about the same guy, we  spotted him a few times in Big Top (although FuelMix hasn't been to Big Top in nearly 6 months).

2.  This local Chinese guy goes for younger Chinese guys whom he hopes are Tops, or chases "hunky" white guys whom he automatically assumes are Tops.  He has a high failure rate, squeals like a baby and often emerges from a room - just a few minutes after entering it - with a really sour look on his face.  The guy he was with, looks similarly pissed off.

3.   He alternates between chain smoking, porn watching, leaning against a wall and very aggressive cruising.   

4.  The reality is that there will always be pissy guys in the sauna. As for them being banned, that would only happen for drug use or trafficking or possibly, if they were overtly aggressive moneyboys.

5.  If he's clearly not your type and bugs you repeatedly when you show up, the best approach is the direct one.  Tell him to his face you're not interested at all and that he is not to touch you again.   If you really want to make an impact - particularly if you've been the subject of his verbal abuse - you can confront him when he's porn surfing and tell him where he can stick his behaviour. The computer screens in ABC are right outside where the staff sit.  Speak in a loud enough voice and your message will come through loud and clear to those who should know about it  **snicker**.

Thanks for writing in.

Alexander Sauna 36

1st Floor, Wing Cheong Building
404 Reclamation Street
Mong Kok
Kowloon
Hong Kong  
MTR: Mong Kok Station, Exit E 1  
Tel: 2148 0400

Open 24 hours
Staff speak good English




FuelMix May Write Off Alexander

1.   The quality of the clientele in Alexander has been going downhill for a long time.  This is based on our direct observations and feedback from friendly GAM-Throats-On-The-Street.

2.  On our most recent visit this week, we were utterly pissed off to discover that the heat in the Steam Room and the Dry Sauna was so intense, one could only be in there for a few seconds.  Both rooms were searingly hot. The staff didn't give a fuck that nobody could lean against the walls, sit on the benches or  touch the door handles. 

3.  The Fugly nature of the clientele - Fugly Chinese, Fugly Filipinos and Fugly elderly whites - meant they couldn't be touched either.

4.   FuelMix has placed Alexander on a Watch List for a potential downgrade, whereby he may write it off as a waste of time and money, cease to show up and cease to upload his reviews.(Readers may continue to submit theirs).

• Readers may submit reviews of gay saunas in any Asian city;
• We reserve the right NOT to publish reviews we deem suspicious, inaccurate or self-serving;
• FuelMix no longer gives personalized sauna advice; 

© Copyright 2006-2016 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

I'll Show You In The Shower

A group of 6 High School jocks, some white some Asian all aged about 17, were working out in the gym.  Their self-appointed leader, a white guy in a little pair of shorts, was demonstrating technique and giving encouragement:

1.   "....Yeah, I really love working out my thighs to increase my running speed in soccer, so I'm gonna do squats.....here watch....this really works the thigh muscles right here....I'll show you in the shower...."

2.   "..'Coz we all play soccer right...? It's really important to build up the muscles in the right places.  I'm working the muscles of my inner thighs like this.... all the way up.....I"ll show you in the shower..."

3.  "...Aww man..!! the pec deck is the best..!!  I do it all the time for my chest.  This is the best way to do it....have a look....builds up the chest muscles here....I'll show you in the shower..."

4.   "Sometimes if you do the pec deck to failure, it sends the blood rushing to your nipples.  Totally makes them stand out under a tank top.... I've seen girls staring at my nipples so I know I've done it right....I'll show you in the shower..."

5.   "It's important to have a big chest when playing soccer 'coz it helps in blocking the opponent and stuff like that.  This is the best way to do the bench press.....it's awesome for the chest muscles here and here...I'll show you in the shower..."

6.  "I'm trying to work on my butt more by doing more squats 'coz it would help in soccer....so you can kinda see the shape of my ass in my shorts....I'll show you in the shower..."





Copyright © 2006 – 2016 FuelMix All Rights Reserved 
Copyright in the video vests in the lawful copyright owners 

By The Rivers of The Hot Tub

FuelMix sat at the edge of the gay sauna hot tub.  The gushing water jet below the surface massaged his aching feet and calves.  A parallel water jet spaced precisely apart, ejaculated and throbbed under pressure.  The jets replenished the gene pool, like the Tigris and Euphrates of an ancient sub-culture of sodomites. Nearby, a twink was semi-submerged in the swirling foam. He was eyeing FuelMix in a glazed reptilian fashion while licking his lips. He moved closer, partly apprehensive, partly predatory.

FuelMix felt his cock stirring. The twink was kissing his hairy thighs and cooing gently.  He lifted FuelMix's left leg and licked the back of his thigh, working his way up towards the inner thigh and hopefully, that sweet spot between the balls and inner thigh.  That would be guaranteed to get FuelMix going.   The twink's warm tongue perfectly matched the warm water in the tub.

"OOOoohh.....you have a ssweeeet body man...!!" gasped the twink coming up for air as FuelMix playfully and repeatedly dunked his head in the hot tub before rubbing his face in his crotch, "I'm usually full of bullshit in the sauna when I talk to guys.....but you're one hot guy...!!.....MMMmmm..!!"

"Ohh.....fuck.....lemmee lick your balls huh..?? I wanna swirl my tongue around them and tickle that sweet spot in your thighs.....I know you like that.....you were holding my face there...."

"I'm getting soooooo drunk on your body dude......Mmmmm.....I'm so full of bullshit in the sauna when I talk to guys.....but you're one hot guy....!!"  And with that the twink partially emerged from the hot tub and started slurping out FuelMix's armpits, inhaling his scent and sucking on his nipples.

Then he looked into FuelMix's eyes and opened his mouth....."Spit into my mouth dude...!! C'mon...!! yeah....fill me up bro....!! I wanna drink your spit.....I'm so fuckin' drunk on ya....I'm so full of bullshit when I tell guys in the sauna that they're hot.....seriously, I bullshit so much......but you're one  hot guy!!....Keep spitting in my mouth dude!!!.....Awww yeah......slurrrrpppp...!! Fuck yeah..!! Spit deep into me....!!....Your spit is sswweeeet.....!!  Gimme more man.....c'mon!......I'm so full of bullshit when I talk to guys in the sauna.....ohh fuck.... gimme more spit....spit hard and deep into my throat....!!!  Oh fuck....!! UUhhh.....UUhhh.... I'm so full of bullshit when I compliment guys in the sauna.....but you really are a hot dude......fuck yeah.....I don't know why I'm so full of bullshit.....but you're hot man....seriously....I'm drunk on ya.....!!"

He buried his head in FuelMix's crotch, breathing deeply....."Ohh man...!! I am so full of bullshit when I tell other guys they're hot......but you're really hot dude....ohh....noo!!....I am sooo fucked up and full of bullshit...."  He started gently licking FuelMix's cock shaft, looking into FuelMix's eyes........"Spit in my face man.....c'mon do it..... I feel so worthless near you - and I'm so full of bullshit...... but when I'm near you, it brings out the Truth about me.....you know what I mean dude...??  Seriously man.....you're a hot guy.....and I am so fucked up and full of bullshit.... I wanna eat your ass man....c'mon turn over....."

FuelMix turned around  to present his muscled ass to the semi-submerged twink in the hot tub. The twink's rimming technique was superb.  He lavished attention on FuelMix's hole like a boy puppy. Gentle kisses, lingering wet smooches on his twitching butt hole and inhalation, deep sustained licking into the ass canal and  best of all......blowing water bubbles into FuelMix's ass while liquid rimming just below the surface of the water.  It was mind blowing.

"Aww man..."  groaned the twink, his eyes having long glazed over....."I am so full of bullshit when I compliment other guys in the sauna.....I am just so full of bullshit for so long now.....I don't know what Truth is anymore......seriously dude, you are one hot guy.....I dunno how how to tell ya.....I'm so full of bullshit.....I always was.....but I'm telling ya the Truth about ya.....can you figure it out??....Oh man...!! I am so sorry I am so full of bullshit.....do you wanna drown me or something....if you're pissed off at me....?"

FuelMix pushed the twink's head under water and held him there. Pulling him up by his hair, the twink opened his mouth and FuelMix spat deep into his throat before pushing him under again and again, spitting into his mouth each time he brought the twink up for air.

"It's like a baptism man...!! groaned the twink in a trance..."Fuck my throat while you hold me  under...!!  Please dude, choke me with your cock while you drown me and heal me of my bullshit.... please......heal me.....purify me of my bullshit....!!  I'm so full of bullshit, I dunno Truth anymore.... all I know is that you're hot!!....I'm drowning in my bullshit dude....help me......HELP ME....!!

Originally published 9 October 2014
Republished 1 June 2016

Copyright © 2006 – 2016 FuelMix All Rights Reserved