The Cost Of A Boner

1.  Theoretically Bulletproof
2.  Why Go To A Gay Sauna..?
3.  The Costs Of Being A Regular

1.  Theoretically Bulletproof

Fashionable though it is to moan about the economy, recession, deflation and inflation, one Fagland institution theoretically thrives whatever the economic cycle......the gay sauna


2.  Why Go To A Gay Sauna..?

FuelMix can think of 16 reasons why a dude would front up at a gay sauna:

• He’s horny;
• It’s a home away from home, regardless of whether he’s a local or a visitor
• It’s a place to run and hide from the office, the wife and kids or str8 people in general;
• He’s horny and stoned, or looking to get stone,d somewhere semi-private;
• Force of habit. That’s more powerful than most fags feel comfortable admitting;
• He’s stressed and needs to blow a load;
• The sauna has Blackout Nites, Dip n’ Dash, Lunchtime Specials, Theme Nights;
• Recurring curiosity – coupled with In / Out privileges;

• Group sex with no questions or explanations;
• Conversation and gossip;
• A great place to surf the net for gay porn without fear of recrimination or snooping;
• Doesn’t matter if you’re a fag or not, men give each other the best blow jobs;
• If he identifies himself as str8, he won’t be judged so long as he’s a good suck or fuck;
• Faster than a gay bar when it comes to getting action;
• Could be faster than an app when it comes to getting action; 
• Great place to practice your attitude and / or be perceived as an asshole;

Any time a fag crosses the threshold of a sauna, it’s usually a combination of the above reasons. And that’s only right. Men are complex dudes too, even if some cling to the dubious notion that they’re “mainly” str8 (to within an acceptable margin of error).


3.  The Costs Of Being A Regular

Whilst the initial costs of entry into a gay sauna seem attractive, the financial costs of being a regular customer add up.

The other day, here in Very Rich Megacity, FuelMix overheard a fag telling another fag that he went to different saunas 4 to 5 times a week after work, although he didn’t get action every time.

Fair enough. Let’s do the math.  As at November 2017, sauna prices in VRM vary from about $70 (Birds) to $230.00 (Hutong) per entry. We'll use official entry fees because we are aware of Fugly Fags who simply don't get discounted entry:

Scenario 1 (Official Entry Fee) Going 5 x a week, same sauna
Cheapest (same sauna 5 times a week): 70 x 5 = $350.00;
Assume 4 weeks in a month: $1,400.00 per month
Most Expensive (same sauna 5 times a week): 230 x 5 = $1,150.00
Assume 4 weeks in a month: $4,600.00 per month

Scenario 2 (Official Entry Fee) Going 5 x a week, 3 different saunas
Birds $70.00; Soda $130.00; Gong Guan $168.00
Birds 1 x a week = $70;
Soda 2 x a week = $260.00;
Gong Guan 2 x a week = $336.00
Sub-total: $666.00 a week
Assume 4 weeks in a month: $2,664.00 per month

Then add:

• Transportation costs (MTR, Bus, Mini-Bus, Taxi);
• Cigarettes;
• Poppers;
• Viagra;
• Drugs;
• Eating out before or after sauna;
• After-sex Starbucks with hot trick;

We have NOT included the cost of drinking at a gay bar or the costs of hiring an escort during the week (which we're aware that some fags have done in addition to showing up at the sauna that week).

Regardless of the state of the economy, the gay sauna wins. (We are ignoring for the moment, lousy sauna management or a lack of clientele that forces a shutdown).

When a fag loses his job, or had a lousy day at the office, he’s stressed, pissed off, angry, vindictive and suffering from low self-esteem. He’s looking for release and validation via Revenge Sex or being treated as a totally worthless faggot whore used as sauna scum by the others.

Conversely when a fag is on a roll (i.e. a Legend in His Own Lunchtime) he’s gonna cum looking for sexual validation of his superiority as a raging Top or a pig Bottom.

And let’s face it. If a dude has the face and bod, a gay sauna is the easiest place to get a party going. Forget the fact that the weather outside is frightful or that the snow on the coffee table is so delightful.

Nobody knows your name (at least accurately) but they’re always glad you came – over and over again.

In either case, the state of the fag’s cash flow, whether in deficit or surplus, is irrelevant.  The thing is, it adds up over time.  Pleasure has a price to pay.

Originally published 18 January 2009
Amended and Republished 9 November 2017