Fuel Injected Male: No One Over 35

Sunday, February 18, 2018

No One Over 35

"Mind if I join you...?" slurred the nameless elderly Stocky White Fag, waving a lurid Green Tea Frappucino, as he lowered his fat waist into the hopelessly inadequate cafe chair at Starbucks downtown. He was the self-confessed rimming addict who a few months ago in the sauna, spooned Haagen-Dazs Rum Raisin ice cream into FuelMix's muscled ass and ate it out to satisfy his cravings for confectionery and butt.

"Looong time no seeee.....!!..... he purred and winked, "How's that hot ass of yours..?? Thawed out yet after I froze your hole...?? Ate all the raisins.....cleaned you up real good huh.....??

"Heh....yeah..." grinned FuelMix, "I can't walk into a Haagen-Dazs without getting flashbacks..."

SWF: Wanna hear a joke about gay guys...?"

FM: Sure

SWF: You know that I'm a gay porn afficionado.....I know my porn like other people know the art hanging on their walls, or fine wine.....I have quite the collection going back decades....sort of like a carnal history of men you know.....

FM: Yeah, so you mentioned in the sauna....after you'd finished your...um..."snack"...

SWF: And you know how these gays whine online about, "No one over 35..?"

FM: Yeah

SWF: I was trawling through gay porn on Tumblr and nearly shit myself laughing. Some of those sites are uploading porn that is about 30 years old - and I'm NOT talking about sites specializing in "Vintage Gay Porn".....I'm talking about the usual sites peddling sucking, fucking or - my favourite - rimming action. Tumblrs are self-curated. They pick from each other. There's a ton of 30 year old porn out there, particularly in the muscle boy and bodybuilder category, and it takes an "expert" like me to spot it. I'm spotting stuff from gay porn mags from the late 1980s and a lot of early 1990s pics from "Colt" who specialized in bodybuilders.

FM: So...what's the joke....?

SWF: All these gays screeching "No One Over 35" in their online ads, are hooked on porn that is 30 to 35 years old...!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!! THE GUYS THEY'RE JACKING OFF TO ARE NOW IN THEIR 60s...!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!!! And these fuckin' gays don't have a clue...!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!!! And everybody knows, most of these gay porn stars don't age well because of drugs.....most of them will look like shit now HAHAHAHAHAHA......!!

FM: [giggles]

SWF: What's even funnier...?? These Tumblr sites curated by 20-something horny college boys, are uploading pics of DEAD GAY PORN actors....!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...!!! - and putting captions like, "I'd totally date him.." or "OMG..!! He's so fuckin' hot... I need to suck him now..!" They're so clueless...!! I'm coming across dead porn guys like Joey Stefano who died in 1994 at 26, Steve Fox in 1997 at 32, Roman Ragazzi who died in 2012 at 38....jeez, there's tons of dead gay porn stars on Tumblr, many of whom killed themselves, like the three I just mentioned.

FM: [sighs]

SWF: If I tell people these days that I'm a porn afficionado, they'll say I'm a porn addict. But I know my porn history that's what. And these fuckin' twinks are jacking off to guys who are now in their 60s or suicidal porn stars. And they're utterly clueless. When they give me attitude in the sauna these days, 'coz I'm an older guy, I just snicker and think, "Hey kid, I know you smoke, I know you snort poppers and I know you do drugs.....let's see how long YOU live, sweetheart.."

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Sunday, February 18, 2018

No One Over 35

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