Sex Addiction 1 (Cruising vs Social Media)

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In 2005 I wrote Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, a book that I took out of print in late 2010 because it desperately needed an update. Essentially, the volume was penned prior to the rise of social media, the explosion of user-generated porn, the advent of smartphone hookup apps, and numerous other advances in digital sexnology. And let us not forget the cultural changes “gay marriage” (and its effect on “gay monogamy”) has wrought in the past few years. Remember, many in the gay community used to deride marriage as an old-fashioned, demeaning, heterosexual ritual. Now, however, gay marriage is a hard-fought-for reality in several states, and with a forward-thinking president who has spoken in support of it on more than one occasion, other states are likely to follow. This has created a dramatic shift in gay men’s attitudes toward marriage and monogamy, leading in turn to quite a lot of individuals rethinking their sexual behavior, wondering if all the “fun” they’ve been having is actually compulsive and destructive rather than enjoyable. 

Needless to say, things have changed quite a lot in the eight years since I wrote Cruise Control. In 2005, gay male sex addicts were most likely to be found picking up hustlers on street corners, masturbating in adult bookstores to video and magazine porn, hooking up for quickies in public parks and restrooms, and cruising the steam-room at their local gym for hours at a time. Today gay men search for sex in much safer and significantly less public venues. Hustlers are found on prostitution (and dating) websites; porn of every ilk imaginable is ubiquitous on the Internet; mutual masturbation occurs via webcams; and in-person casual and anonymous hookups are set up using “friend finder” smartphone apps. Public cruising for sex partners is fast becoming a behavioral relic engaged in only by “old school” men (read: over 40) who’ve yet to embrace the technologic tsunami. And the number of old-school gay men is diminishing by the day, as it becomes increasingly clear that if you want to get laid, you’d better get “with it” in terms of digital hookups. Recognizing this, a heavily updated second edition of Cruise Control – already a staple among gay men in recovery – is scheduled for publication later this month in both electronic and print formats.

---Robert Weiss, "Cruise Control: Understanding Gay Men And Sex Addiction", Freedom Institute

FuelMix says:

1.  The 2nd edition of the book was published a couple of years ago:

2.  As for Weiss' assertion that the use of the Web, Webcams and Online Apps is "much safer and significantly less public", did somebody forget to tell him about the pervasive, utterly illegal and overreaching web surveillance for no real purpose other than blackmail and control - as well as the ease with which these platforms can be hacked and the intimate details displayed to the world (on the Web, of course)....??


3.  We agree with what Weiss said about the impact of social media and gay marriage, but we disagree on his comment that public cruising is a

" 'behavioural relic' engaged in only by 'old school' men (read: over 40) who've yet to embrace the technological tsunami"

4.  From our observations here in Very Rich Megacity, we think gay men of all ages embrace an "holistic" view that covers the full spectrum of public cruising, porn viewing (often while cruising or in the sauna waiting for "Mr Right Now"), the smartphone apps and online ads.  We've seen this behaviour not just on the streets, but also in the bars and saunas.

5.  Further, given how much more brazen the 16 to 20-somethings are these days, we're not surprised to see them engaging in urban cruising.  It's a rite of passage for every gay man.  We wrote about it and its effectiveness in our post, "Old School".

COMING UP IN PART 2: 

Is Sex Addiction A Gay Thing..?

Originally published 22 May 2016
Republished 5 September 2017

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