PPnP (Pee, Porn & Preview)

Out there in Fagland, it takes a lot to faze FuelMix.  Not only has he done things that would make Sodom and Gomorrah look like shrines, but he tries his best to enthusiastically cavort outside the silly paradigm, idiosyncracy, hypocrisy, duplicity and other behavioural faecal matter that are the skid marks of today's urban faggotry.

But every once in a while something happens that just sneaks up on FuelMix.

Tripping along the SoHo district of Very Rich Megacity,  FuelMix felt the urge to pee. (Pineapple juice tends to do that).  Ducking into a well known public toilet, FuelMix was not surprised to see the usual suspects doing what fags do in public toilets all over the world.

Standing at the urinal pissing contentedly, FuelMix was approached by a GAM, an obvious fag, with a large backpack:

Fag:  Sir, you like sex? 

FM:  Huh?

Fag (unzips backpack):  You like sex..? (pulls out laminated promo material for gay DVDs) 

FM (totally fazed):  Oh.......

Fag:  Yeah, many sex video here (points to backpack) You like?  Good price for you ! (pulls out another wad of laminated promo material for gay DVDs)  Here.....have a look (shoves wad into FuelMix's hand, notwithstanding FuelMix is using both hands while he's pissing)

FM:  Dude I'm pissing.....can't you see?

Fag (grinning):  Yeah I see......you have very sexy big cock..!  You sex model..? 

FM: No. (still pissing)

Fag:  You like preview..? I show you....( shoves promo material into backpack, pulls out small notebook computer from backpack, flips open screen, pushes "Play", shoves notebook screen under FuelMix's nose while he's still pissing......gay porn playing)

Fag:  Good price for you..!! You like? 

FM (finished pissing and zipping up):  Uh.... no thanks (glances at other fags standing around rubbing their crotches)

Fag (following FM to sink as he washes his hands):  Vewwy good price for sexy boy like you..!! See more..!! Make choice..!! (waves more promo material for gay porn)

FM:  No thanks, see ya.

Fag (retreats to toilet cubicle to wait for the next customer).

Back in the sunlight, FuelMix stopped to methodically replay in his head what just happened.  Not only was it surreal but it was a tour de force of business marketing.  What better place to hawk gay porn than in a public toilet frequented by fags..??!!  Talk about finding the niche market, talk about getting clients to come to you, talk about a Unique Selling Proposition, talk about making a compelling presentation with visual aids and a streaming movie too..!!  And all this while the customer is streaming his own piss and can't run away..!!!

FuelMix grinned at the sheer audacity and utter brilliance of the marketing tactic.  This was definitely one for the record books and a testament to the entrepreneurial intelligence here in Very Rich Megacity.

FuelMix hopes the fag's porn sales are flushed with success.

Originally published 28 October 2010
Amended and Republished 2 September 2013 | 7 June 2017

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