Dim Lights & Dim Wits

First Encounter 

Sitting quietly at the University of Fag Bar (pending accreditation), FuelMix was accosted by a bald white fag with the face of a mule. He was an obvious tourist who had spent the last half hour cruising local gay chat rooms from the Bar’s complimentary desktop. Apparently he’d met with no success. 

“You looking to fuck?” was fag’s opening line. 

“No”, said FuelMix annoyed at the intrusion, “why..?” 

“Coz you have that whole ‘I’m-looking-for-a-fuck’ thing goin’ on” replied the fag, slightly agitated. 

“I’m just chillin..’” responded FuelMix coolly, attempting to keep the whole thing low key. 

“Yeah right..!!”, persisted the fag, “you could be fun to fuck..!!” 

“What makes you think I’m a bottom?” asked FuelMix. 

“Coz you look like one, man..!” trumpeted the fag. 

“What makes you think you look like a top?” snapped FuelMix 

Fag stared at FuelMix momentarily and backed off.

Second Encounter 

A few moments later, a bearded, hairy, middle aged white fag with too much bling sidled up to FuelMix purring compliments. Said fag was admiring FuelMix’s well muscled bod and offered a blow job back at his hotel. 

“By the way”, purred the fag, “I’m just so fascinated by your looks! Where are you from originally?”

FuelMix told him. 

“Oh! I’ve met some really hot dudes from there!” exclaimed the fag and then proceeded to identify a country somewhat west of FuelMix’s point of origin. 

OK, FuelMix has frequently been taken for being from that part of the world too, but there’s a world of difference between that and being patently clueless as to the correct location of a country. 

“Don’t tell me….let me guess….you’re from God’s Own Country, right?” said FuelMix 

“Wow!” beamed the fag, “how could you tell?’ 

“You have no idea” muttered FuelMix to himself. 

“So, can I get my hungry mouth all over that delicious cock of yours and swallow a hot load?” enquired the fag. 

“Only with a condom” replied FuelMix, “you can swallow my load when I pull it off just before I cum” 

“Wha…?” said the fag incredulously “you don’t get AIDS from sucking, dude! That’s just overkill!” 

“Yeah but you can get other stuff from sucking”, said FuelMix. 

“But you’re the Top! What do YOU have to worry about?” screeched the fag, “it’s my throat!” 

“It’s my cock isn’t it...? I’ll worry about it if I want to”, retorted FuelMix. 

“What if I told you I’m totally clean?” enquired the fag, attempting to negotiate. 

“What if I told you I could walk on water?” responded FuelMix. 

“Well I can’t produce anything by right now way of proof!” snapped the fag. 

“I can produce a condom anytime”, said FuelMix and left.

Originally published 18 October 2011 (or was it earlier.....?? we might have screwed up on dates)
Republished 10 April 2014


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