Don't Tout Me, Bro

1.  Golden Mile, Tsim Sha Tsui
2.  Mainland Chinese, Indian and Pakistani Touts
3.  Listen Up, White Bitch


1.  Golden Mile, Tsim Sha Tsui
 
1.  Here in Very Rich Megacity, there’s a downtown area in Tsim Sha Tsui called Golden Mile. It’s close to the harbour so it’s a favourite area for tourists, locals and shoppers. There are tons of shops, hotels, budget backpackers hostels, massage parlours, custom tailor shops, bars and restaurants ranging from the swanky to the basic (to the basically illegal).

2.  All this can be found not just on the main drag of Nathan Road, but down the side streets as well. Like other areas of VRM, it’s safe late at night and has a heavy Police patrol. 

3.  Many businesses on Golden Mile such as small Indian restaurants, small tailor shops, budget hostels, massage parlours, and slightly shadier businesses, are not on street level. They’re often located in older buildings on higher floors, some of which may be walk-ups. To get to them, a customer first has to know about them, then find them. 


2.  Mainland Chinese, Indian and Pakistani Touts

1.  That’s no easy task, particularly for tourists. So, many of these businesses employ  Mainland Chinese, Indians and Pakis to hang around on the sidewalks touting passersby with leaflets, sample menus or just plain old canvassing. It has to be said that there’s quite a horde of these Mainland Chinese, Indians and Pakis, doing their thing, day or night.

2.  FuelMix has observed tourists getting swarmed by these Mainland Chinese, Indian and Paki touts. They are pretty persistent.  What really got FuelMix thinking was when a white tourist bitch accused them of begging, pushed them aside and stormed off into the crowd, screaming that this would never happen in a civilized country – like hers. 


 3.  Listen Up, White Bitch

1.  OK, bitch, let’s take a closer look at a civilized Western country, shall we..?  Take a city on the West Coast.....No touts huh..? Well let’s see...This city on the West Coast is a drug fucked little town with pretensions of grandeur, internationally notorious for its marijuana, crack and amphetamines (as well as Hepatitis B and Syphilis). Needless to say, such “businesses” have also spawned a booming local market of highly drug-fucked consumers – which in turn, have spawned a very high concentration of what is politely described as “panhandlers”. 

2. From personal observation, FuelMix can say that these panhandlers are beggars. Drug-fucked ones at that. They are extremely aggressive, prone to drug-induced mood swings, occasionally threatening and very, very persistent. But……they serve no useful purpose to society, or the economy, or the neighbourhood in which they “operate”. Their sole purpose is to get fast cash for the next hit. And then they’re back on the street pissing off another passerby.

3.  There are also those drug fucked pushers who solicit for customers, hoping to find one interested in their menu of misery. They tout too you know. 

4.  What about those seedy-looking types who cluster outside banks and demand a tip just for opening the door for customers..?  Not begging..??  Really..??

5.  And let's not forget those who gather outside restaurants to beg for food as customers are entering or leaving.

6.  FuelMix is happy to concede that the Mainland Chinese, Indian and Paki touts on Golden Mile here in Very Rich Megacity, are irritating:

• But are they filthy and unwashed..? No. They might be sweating in the heat but so what..?
• Are they homeless..? No. 
• Are they drug-fucked while they’re working..? No. 
• Do they utter verbal threats..? No. 
• Could some of them be living here illegally..? Yep
• Are they there to make a buck..? Yes. 
• Could you get ripped off..?  Yes.
• Are they there to help a business like an Indian restaurant, a custom tailor shop, a backpackers hostel, an electronics shop, a massage parlour or a pedicure joint or a shop selling counterfeit goods..? Yes.

6.  Do more customers for a business mean more money..? Yes. Does that help the business environment..? Yes. Is it good for the economy..? Usually. Are touts a quick and easy way to get information about something, you may not have known about..? Sure, FuelMix is always on the look out for potentially interesting places off street level. 

7.  To the hissy-fit-throwing white bitch mentioned in this post, the Mainland Chinese, Indian and Paki touts found on Golden Mile in Very Rich Megacity, are NOT beggars. They are agents for the (predominantly legal) local economy. And they contribute far more to local society than any white drug-fucked panhandler or drug pusher any time of day or night. 

"Copy watch..? Copy handbag..? All luxury brand types! Come see! Good copies!"

"Massage..? Vewwwy good nearby..!!  Foot Massage also..!!"

"Custom tailor..? Very cheap and quick! Can deliver to your hotel anytime! Package deal…one 2 piece suit, 2 shirts all in 24 hours no problem! Come have quick look sir!"

"Youth hostel..? Upstairs many choices! Very cheap very friendly! Broadband internet included! Private toilet with shower!! You want food also? Good Indian restaurants everywhere nearby! Come see!"

"Curry house....? Very close by....!!  Come, come....!!"

 "Hey Boss, you tourist......??"

Originally published 29 March 2008
Amended and Republished 3 November 2011 | 30 September 2014 | 14 June 2017

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