Just Like Me - Part 3

One Sauna, 2 GAMs.  
When Pathetic Meets Comedy

Therapy
And 
(Unwittingly)
Twisted Shakespeare

1.   In The Shower - Again

1.  And so, once again, FuelMix found himself in the sauna shower, having definitely decided that fucking the same Twink twice was enough.  It was time to head home.

2.  Except that the Angst Ridden Fag who was still tailing FuelMix, decided he needed therapy there and then.  He stood alongside the shower with his fogged up glasses as FuelMix soaped himself.


2.   Love's Lust's Labours Lost

ARF:  I've been trying to get your attention but you're not interested....do you think you could fuck me before you leave?

FM:  No thanks, dude

ARF:  You think I'm ugly don't you?

FM:  All I said was "no thanks, dude"

ARF: I know I'm nothing to look at, but why won't you fuck me?

FM:  You're not my type


3.  King Lear Leer Or, A Midsummer Night's Dream Drag

ARF:  How do I get to be like you? 

FM:  What..??

ARF:  I mean ...look at you...you've got a body that everyone admires...I've been here longer than you.  Nobody noticed me or wanted to play.  You walked in an hour and a half ago, you have people cruising you in the Locker Room as you were getting undressed.  Several people followed you...and you fucked that guy twice.  People are still watching you in the shower and are waiting to cruise you...I want to be like you....how do I get to be like you?

FM:  I don't understand any of this - and besides, that happens to other guys all the time

ARF:  I just want to be attractive to people like you are.  You make it all seem so easy.  It just isn't fair.  Even when you reject people, they keep coming back to cruise you. You rejected me and I keep coming back...look at those guys over there..!! You're in the shower and they're still cruising you..!!  They've been following you around just like me...and they stood outside the room just like me while you fucked that guy - twice..!!

FM:  The corridors in sauna are a public place.  The customers can stand wherever they want.  I have no right to dictate whether they want to listen to the action going on in the room.

ARF:  I just told you... I want to be attractive to people like you are.  Tell me how to do it.

FM:  I don't claim to be universally attractive.  Some guys like the way I look.  Others can't stand it. It's very subjective. Everyone has their own taste in guys.

ARF [sarcastically]:  And they apparently find YOU very tasty

FM:  Look dude, a sauna is like a casino.  You pay your money and take your chances.  Sometimes you get lucky, other times you don't.  Many times I've showed up at saunas and didn't get ANY action.

ARF:  You're lying..!!

FM:  No dude, I'm not

ARF[drops towel and stands there naked with fogged up glasses]  Here..!! look at my body.  Tell me everything that's wrong with it.  Tell me the truth so I can make it look like yours...

FM:  That's not my job

ARF: [raising his voice] So you DO think I'm ugly..!!

FM:  Actually dude, I'm thinking YOU think you're ugly

ARF: [raising his voice some more] I just want to BE LIKE YOU..!!  WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT..??!!

FM[calmly]:  Try being yourself

ARF[dejected]:  What's the point?  Nobody likes me as I am...

FM:  That's because you don't like yourself

ARF:  What..??!!  

FM:  Dude, I just told you...not everybody finds me attractive for whatever reason.  Gay men are picky, racist, ageist, influenced by drugs, porn and the model on the cover of the latest fitness mag. It is incredibly artificial and very degrading to people at the same time......I don't claim to be universally attractive and there are people who can and will reject me.....It's happened many times in the past and it will happen again.  I'm totally cool with that because I cannot and will not please everyone......you need to work on self-esteem and self-acceptance - not about hoping whether somebody likes you.  That's a teenage mentality.

ARF [bitching]:  That's easy for you to say, because you're attractive and sexy

FM:  Dude, you haven't heard a word I've said have you..??  I just told you, I DON'T CARE what people think of me.  I frequently get rejected and I DON'T CARE.  Everyone has an opinion and I'm not out to change it.

ARF [sarcastically]  And you think "just being myself" is the way to get guys..?? 

FM:  You make it sound that "being yourself" is such a fake concept.  It's the first step to your personal attractiveness.  I suspect the main reason you're not getting any action is that you're living in your head.

ARF:  It's not my fault that I'm well educated.  All I know is that guys don't like me, they like YOU and I want to know WHY 

FM:  Your education is getting in your way.  You're analyzing things to death AND you're desperate.  That's not a good combination.

ARF [bitching even more]:  All I asked was how do I get to be like you?  You're too arrogant to tell me

FM:  Jeez dude...wake up...you're too deaf to hear.  It's not about comparisons and similarities.  You're so well educated that all you can think of is working hard to look like me - hoping that the result will be that someone will eventually play with you.  You hate yourself so much that you don't have the guts to even attempt to be yourself.  You're not looking to be like me.  You're looking to hide your own cowardice.

ARF:  I'm not here to be insulted

FM:  Get lost dude

ARF[storms off muttering]

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