Gay Blackmail In Hong Kong 3

8.   Dealing With A Blackmail Threat In Advance
(Combining the Reader's email and extensive additions by FuelMix)

1.  Before Meeting A Stranger For A Hookup

(a)  State Upfront Whether You Are Or Are Not Looking For A Moneyboy.  Do NOT be afraid to ask him whether he's a Moneyboy if you're not sure.

(b)  Demand to see ID at once if you have any doubts about legal age. Do NOT hesitate to drop him right there.


(c)  Do NOT reveal too much personal information - especially if you are bringing the stranger to your place or hotel room.  You should prepare and rehearse an honest script about yourself covering your your age, ethnicity and health status - but it should be left very general when it comes to your career, your family members, Significant Others you might be cheating on, whether you're living alone - preferably without lying. You should not hesitate to say that you don't talk about your job in detail with casual encounters.  If the stranger presses you to reveal more about your job, get suspicious.

(d)  If your building has a Building Concierge at the Ground Floor Lobby, whereby guests must sign in and produce ID, DO IT.  No exceptions.  It's your safety and security first at all times.

(e)  Do NOT tell the stranger beforehand that he will have to produce ID to enter your building, whether he is with you or whether he shows up alone.  Better to catch him off guard with that one.  If the stranger objects to producing ID - even if he is with you - simply inform him deal's off and show him the exit to the building immediately.  Do NOT be afraid to lose face in front of the Concierge.  Again, it's your safety and security first at all times. 

(f)  If the stranger has to show up at your building, make it clear that YOU will come downstairs and bring him to your apartment.

(g)  If the stranger is coming to your hotel room, ALWAYS arrange to meet them in the Hotel Lobby IN FULL VIEWING DISTANCE OF THE FRONT DESK STAFF (and the hotel security cameras).......Do NOT be like those idiots advertising on Craigslist saying that they will leave their hotel room door slightly open with the lights turned off. 

(h)  If the stranger is coming to your building or to your hotel, ask him beforehand what he will be wearing so that you can recognize him.  Get it in writing.  You will therefore have his pic, his profile and what he was wearing on that day and time.  It could be important later. 

(i)  If the stranger who shows up in the hotel lobby, or in the lobby of your building, is not as advertised on his profile, dump him immediately - politely and firmly.  If he gets nasty, point out there are security cameras and/or hotel staff, Building Concierge.

(j)  Save and archive your pre-hookup chats on email, Grindr, WhatsApp, WeChat etc.  2 weeks to a month should be fine.  In the event of a backlash, you have evidence of what was actually said.

2.  Get Your House Or Hotel Room In Order - Literally

(a)  Hide your valuables or remove them from the vicinity:

If you're in a hotel:

• lock the suitcases; 
• stash your laptop, tablet, USB drives, mobile hard drives, CDs in a lockable compartment. Put them in locked suitcases for extra security;
• be especially careful of your Filofax diary,  your business cards and those of your clients or associates that the stranger could easily pick up; 
• decide whether you're comfortable keeping your passport, cash, credit cards in your hotel room in the suitcases or in the In-Room hotel safe or the main hotel safe via the Front Desk;
• be wary of offering and pouring alcoholic drinks to a stranger in your hotel room who's only there for sex.  That's a great way of launching an accusation that the drink was spiked and it snowballs from there. You get the picture.....(if you really need a drink before sex, do it in the hotel bar)

• Always, always shower together and dry off together.  That will stop him getting any ideas. Watch him carefully as he gets dressed and how he deals with his backpack.
• When he's dressed, start moving yourself and him towards the door.  Keep him in front of you at all times.  Better still, walk him to the street;

In your apartment:

• be wary of offering and pouring alcoholic drinks to a stranger in your apartment who's only there for sex.  That's a great way of launching an accusation that the drink was spiked and it snowballs from there. You get the picture.....
• if your place looks like a frat pad, you're asking for trouble. It's easy enough to clear away and hide sensitive stuff like bank statements, bills, business cards.
• shut or lock the doors of certain rooms that are out of bounds. The stranger is not entitled to a grand tour or a walkabout;
• if you live in a 300 square foot shit hole err.... pardon, "studio apartment", just off the Central Escalator in SoHo or NoHo you have your work cut out for you.  Go over your apartment with a fine tooth comb;
• always shower together and dry off together (we're not sure how that would work if you live in a 300 square foot shit hole err.....pardon, "studio apartment" just off the Central Escalator in SoHo or NoHo).
• You are not obliged to entertain in your apartment afterwards.  Far better to walk him to the street; 

Coming Up In Part 4: When A Blackmail Threat Arrives

   

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