Not Quite Bacchus

It’s one of the drawbacks of being (very..?) good looking that FuelMix attracts fat, white, middle-aged drunks. At first, it was embarrassing to admit it. They weren’t even his type. What the hell was FuelMix doing wrong..? And why was it that one fat, white, middle-aged drunk, hanging around FuelMix like a bad smell, inevitably attracted another...? 

The answer was soon forthcoming. Arriving at the University of Fag Bar (pending accreditation), FuelMix staked out his table. Most of the time, FuelMix tends – and prefers – to sit alone. It’s a great way to people watch and collect data for the blog. But it also triggers resentment. A fag deliberately sitting alone in a bar is considered stand-offish. And a dude as good looking as FuelMix, who chooses to sit alone, is deemed doubly arrogant and unapproachable. 

So what better way to approach a hot looking dude in a fag bar than to stagger up to them, thoroughly pissed, red-faced and slurring? This, according to a fat, white, bearded, entirely average-looking inebriate from God’s Own Country who proceeded to bore FuelMix to death with a stream of incoherent drivel. The drinks may be cheap, but the words are even cheaper. There’s even amnesia as an excuse and there’s nothing like alcohol-fuelled courage to take the sting out of rejection. These drunken fags can be very persistent. Selective deafness is one characteristic. 

For the hottie dude on the receiving end, it’s a triple curse: 

• First, it’s almost impossible to get rid of the fat, white, middle-aged, drunken fag without giving up a prime piece of real estate:
• Second, the chances of attracting the attention of other studs is zero;
• Third, all the other fags in the bar snicker and point; 

It’s a strange quirk of irony that as oblivious as he is to the embarrassment he’s causing you, the fat, white, middle aged drunk is fully cognisant of the attention of the snickering patrons – and that only goads him into hanging around longer.  

Originally published 28 October 2007.  
Republished 4 November 2011 | 31 January 2014

© Copyright 2006-2014 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Fugly Warnings

One of our friendly GAMs on the street, trotted up to us breathlessly and hissed in annoyance, "the fuckin' saunas are full of ugly guys...!"

"Why...?" said FuelMix feigning complete ignorance as he swiveled his sunglasses up to his head.

"Because of the Lunar New Year Holidays!" exclaimed the throat, "these Mainland Chinese guys are EVERYWHERE....!! and many of them are soooooooo ugly and sooooooo rude......!! For a long time, the saunas here are no fun.....!!......What to do....??!!"

"Which saunas are getting a lot of ugly Mainland Chinese....?" cooed FuelMix

"In Tsim Sha Tsui, Galaxy of course........and now ABC also - too many ugly guys from across the border. Also Alexander, Big Top and Club Houzz in Mong Kok - they come in groups of 3 or 4 - because Tsim Sha Tsui and Mong Kok is where they go shopping a lot.......They like Alexander because it is big.  They always complain so loudly in the other saunas that they are too small.  Why do they complain.....??? How many gay saunas in China.....? Hah...!!"

"What about Hong Kong side?" enquired FuelMix

"Yeah a lot in Action - still "NoAction" - so many there too"

" I see", said FuelMix

"It is just too many"......sighed the GAM, "it is just like invasion......it is NEVER going to stop...." His voice trailed off as he looked away, "this is not Hong Kong anymore......."

Galaxy Sauna 14

5th Floor, Harilela Mansion
81 Nathan Road Tsim Sha Tsui
Kowloon,
Hong Kong
MTR: Tsim Sha Tsui Station, Exit C2

Tel: 2366 - 0629
No website that FuelMix knows of

NOTE:   
(1)  NOT open 24 hours - Usually 2pm to 11pm
(2)   Staff do NOT speak good English on the phone. 

The other day, our friendly GAM throat on the street informed us that - for the second time within a year - Galaxy has jacked its prices.

The new price is HK$73.00

OK....it's still the cheapest gay sauna in town on the basis of consistent pricing (we're ignoring for the moment, the murky "special" pricing for "gym dudes" and "students" and those "under 25"  or "7 inches or more"  that are selectively offered by other saunas)..........and apparently totally packed and popular with a largely FUGLY crowd (increasingly middle aged Mainland Chinese, but also a dedicated hard core group of local regulars who won't go anywhere else - by their own admission).

It's still as decrepit as ever but nobody really cares.  They still suck them in to suck you off.

© Copyright 2006 - 2014 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Central Escalator 23

2nd Floor, Cheung Hing Commercial Building, 

37 Cochrane Street,

Central, 

Hong Kong

MTR: Central or Hong Kong Station
 

Tel: 2581 9951 (Staff speak very good English)

Easy way to find it: above 7 Eleven and opposite Park N Shop supermarket.

Note: NOT open 24 hours

Opening Hours: 2pm - 11pm. 

It's always entertaining to run into one of our GAM throats on the street, especially one tripping out of CE in the middle of the afternoon and right into our face, with a totally shit-faced grin on his..........

Turns out the horny fag had just spent the last hour and a half at CE. He showed up at 3pm and there were only 5 people there.  But yet he managed to get action with 2 people in quick succession and drained his balls twice. For the first time in a long time, he actually felt he got his money's worth in that place.

And a little tidbit from said horny fag..........CE is apparently regarded as a "Dip N' Dash" kinda place.  Apparently he'd heard that several times in the past from the customers themselves. Since it attracts a predominantly corporate crowd (being close to Central) - to which we would add, "a predominantly Fugly corporate crowd" - time management is critical (after all, one can only lie to one's secretary about "client development", "dental visits", "a meeting with the banker", a finite number of times during the week after which, she too, will notice her boss returning to the office 3 hours late, with wet hair on a fine day...........).

Consequently, the corporate execs only stay about an hour and a half. Add another 15 - 20 minute walk back to the office.  That makes a 2 hour absence from the workplace, which is just enough to squeak under the radar without attracting awkward questions.

Well, that's the theory anyway. We're just reporting it.

If true, it explains the very narrow window of opportunity to which we've alluded in previous posts in this series.

© Copyright 2006 - 2014 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Hong Kong Gay Sauna Reviews

A reader helpfully informed us that our blog has "disappeared" from Google's search results........

Yes! Please continue to post and give reviews. I'm sure there are lurkers out there who read your posts. A year ago if I googled "gay hong kong saunas" your site was ranked on the first page. Now it's no longer appears. Fuck utopia-asia. I got all my info from you and had so much ass and cock at the saunas.

Very best,

Your USA fan

 

FuelMix says:

 

Well....well......well..... what's going on here....??  For the longest time, our blog indeed popped up on the first page of Google's search results, right near or at the top when it came to search terms like:

• "gay hong kong saunas"
• "hong kong gay saunas"
• "gay sauna reviews hong kong" 
  
• "gay sauna hong kong"
• "hong kong gay blog"
• "gay hong kong blog sauna"
• "gay blog hong kong sauna"

And the reader's right........the blog has disappeared from Google's search results when we checked pursuant to his e-mail.

Instead, certain "established" gay sites suddenly show up touting "their" sauna reviews.  When we glanced at them, we became intensely suspicious of some of those "reviews".

 

We can only assume that our independent and dynamically updated reviews were powerful, correct and **ahem** influential that some people felt threatened, or they paid Google to increase their search ranking visibility, or Google changed its secret algorithm as to how search rankings are displayed - or all three.

Whilst we're pissed off at our "Google disappearance", we're also intensely flattered at the impact of our unabashed Hong Kong gay sauna reviews. 

 

Apparently, it's not the first time that certain websites have inexplicably disappeared from Google's search results.

We'll leave it to our readers to decide if we've added value with our gay sauna reviews and other writings. If you'd like to come to our assistance via your social media contacts, we'd encourage it.

Legal Aid

True facts

Fag client has a legal problem and finally finds a fag lawyer to represent him. Problem is that fag client is also in a financial bind and can’t afford to pay the legal fees. 

Fag lawyer says it’s not a problem: fag client could give him regular massages with a happy ending.

 
Issues

• Bartering...?
• Payment In Kind....?
• Conflict of Interest....?
• Duress....?
• Ethical.....?
• Breach of Professional Conduct.....?
• Sleazy.....?
• Undue Influence....?

Your call.

Originally published 3 August 2006
Republished 12 January 2014

© Copyright 2006 - 2014 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Galaxy Sauna 13

5th Floor, Harilela Mansion
81 Nathan Road Tsim Sha Tsui
Kowloon,
Hong Kong
MTR: Tsim Sha Tsui Station, Exit C2

Tel: 2366 - 0629
No website that FuelMix knows of

NOTE:   
(1)  NOT open 24 hours - Usually 2pm to 11pm
(2)   Staff do NOT speak good English on the phone. 

So....FuelMix ran into one of his friendly casual (we only know him by his first name) GAM throats on the street who tells us he was at Galaxy on 24 December 2013 from about 4 pm and the place was packed......PACKED.

There was the usual assortment of FUGLY older GAMs, a fair number of FUGLY older GWMs, a huge number of middle aged FUGLY Mainland Chinese and........for the first time that he'd seen, a surprisingly large number of good looking, gym built 20 something Mainland Chinese.

Our first reaction was to enquire whether these 20 something Mainland Chinese were money boys.  According to him, apparently not, although they were strutting around with attitude.

Our GAM throat also informed us that Galaxy remains as decrepit and as popular as ever.

© Copyright 2006 - 2014 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Central Escalator 22

2nd Floor, Cheung Hing Commercial Building, 

37 Cochrane Street,

Central, 

Hong Kong

MTR: Central or Hong Kong Station
 

Tel: 2581 9951 (Staff speak very good English)

Easy way to find it: above 7 Eleven and opposite Park N Shop supermarket.

Note: NOT open 24 hours

Opening Hours: 2pm - 11pm. 

We ran into one of our casual (i.e. we only know him by his first name) friendly and reliable GAMs on the street.  He was chatting to a part-time staff of CE who discreetly informed him that the actual window of opportunity there is only between 3pm and 5pm. Apparently there may be more guys there at that time, but they might not be hot.

The part-time staff also said that the 5pm to 7pm period varies during the week, both in terms of numbers and "hotness".

We're also told by another reliable GAM on the street, that uncut white French fags are showing up at CE. According to him, they were surprisingly UN-hot.

(We'd noticed hordes of French expatriates fleeing their highly regulated socialist paradise and washing up on the shores of Very Rich Megacity.  Apparently they've brought their manners with them........)

Voodu

M/F 47 - 49 Staunton Street
SoHo
Central
Hong Kong
Tel: 5113 1714

MTR: Central Station or Hong Kong Station

Web: www.ivoodu.com.hk
Online store available too


View Larger Map

We came across this adult toy shop while browsing for restaurants along Staunton Street. We happened to look up and saw a large neon sign advertising its existence.

Relax.........the entrance is not on street level.  It's up the staircase of a totally discreet, non-descript building and the shop is located on the Mezzanine Floor.

It's a compact, brightly lit, well laid out shop. Whilst it's not an exclusively a gay toy shop, it sports a HUGE selection of condoms, lubes, dildos and butt plugs (including vibrating butt plugs)............at very competitive prices. In fact, it appears to be the best prices we've seen in town for gay toys. Checking thru' their website, the competitive pricing comes from the fact that the shop is wholly owned by the China-based, Nanma Manufacturing Company Limited, the world's largest adult toy manufacturer and distributor.

The sole female staff on duty didn't speak good English or Mandarin.  Her attempts to tell us the opening hours of the shop flunked. Put it this way, they're open from 11 am onwards. Can't hurt to call them first.

Anyways........we like the place and so should you.  It's a discreet little spot for "family" to mix, mingle and ogle.

Made To Measure

After several months of getting a life, FuelMix dropped into the University of Fag Bar (pending accreditation). The alumni welcomed him with open mouths. Some grinned and bent over. Others lay on their backs and spread their legs. There was no shortage of the superficial sexual camaraderie for which fags are renowned – and rightfully despised. FuelMix had long ago observed that when the chips were down, just like a weak currency with nothing to back it, a fag's words and actions were subject to a breathtaking and inevitable depreciation.

So, like a good politician FuelMix gladhanded, caressed, hugged and kissed his way through the miscellany of fag trash before finding a perch from where he could nurture a whisky on the rocks, glean blog material and mercifully, be left alone – or so he thought.

A visiting fag in his 20s with a seriously built gym body, noticed FuelMix's serious gym results and came over to chat, compliment and ogle. The other fags in the bar leered in disgust, having thought they'd lost their chance to bed the hottie. The generic white fag was gushing at the sensory overload of Very Rich Megacity. He was also horny and exhibited the nuance and ritual of a fag in heat: sustained eye contact, moving in closer to chat, lightly brushing against FuelMix, feeling FuelMix's muscles, spouting the right compliments, discussing gym workouts, demonstrating on himself and FuelMix the body parts they built. The bar fags continued to leer.

It was all pretty harmless. The fag was on the game and FuelMix was letting him run on a long leash. But there was one niggling characteristic : the fag was a walking self-statistician. Having spent hours in the gym, he had meticulously measured himself from head to toe and had the increasingly annoying habit of peppering his verbal foreplay with his body measurements.

Fag: So yeah.....if you do the decline press correctly, it really builds the lower chest. My lower chest is ----------inches and my upper chest coz of the other exercises I told you about is -------------- inches....

FM: Uh huh......

Fag: So have you like measured your upper and lower chest?

FM: No, not lately

Fag: Oh dude, you should. Then you can decide on how you want your waist to be. Mine is like -------- inches. You have a great proportion betweeen your waist and chest too......looks really hot …

FM: Thanks..........

Fag: Yeah, I'd say your waist was ---------- inches

FM: Sounds about right.

Fag: I really love your ass.....I mean the way it fills your jeans. You do squats and stuff?

FM: Yeah really kills your legs if you do it right.............

Fag: Oh totally, my quads are like ----------inches and my calves are -------------- inches

FM: You really know your body parts

Fag (stroking his crotch): Especially the part that counts. It's about 8 inches cut, thick.

FM: Kinda curious about something......

Fag: Yeah......?

FM: How big is your heart...?

Originally published 27 October 2009.  
Republished 8 November 2011 |  3 January 2014