Talking To Adam 10

I'm an Aussie-born and raised Chinese gay male in my early 30s. I speak with a total Aussie accent and I'm a white collar expatriate professional here in Very Rich Megacity.

I love being in VRM. It gives me the chance to really explore the Chinese side of my culture. Oh....and yeah.....my Cantonese totally sucks. It's virtually non-existent. Try speaking it with an Aussie accent..........

On a personal level, I'm so glad to get out of Oz, specifically Sydney.  As a gay Asian, I was horrified and repeatedly embarrassed by the antics of the white gay guys in the bars and saunas.

It was in-your-face racism.  They were doing it on purpose and getting a kick out of it.  It's not that I'm some fugly out of shape, socially awkward Chinese guy who can't speak their language. I'm gym fit, in shape, women have told me I'm attractive and gone out with me (yeah I told them I'm queer but we went out anyways....), other Chinese guys hit on me in the saunas in VRM and if I show up at Central Escalator the whites will chase me.

What happened to me several times in Sydney just makes me puke when I think about it. I'd walk into a gay bar and head for the empty bar stool between 2 white guys.  As soon as I'd sit on the stool, the 2 white guys - who weren't even talking to each other anyway - would get off their stools, take their drink and move to another part of the bar.  I'd sit there thinking, "WTF.....??!!.....did you honestly think I'd hit on you just because you're white....??!!"   The whites would stand there in their little cliques staring and snickering at me. They assumed since I wasn't white, I didn't speak much English, or that my parents owned a fish and chip takeaway.  Several times I'd hear snippets of conversation along the lines of how desperate Chinese guys in Oz were to find any white guy.

I was being stereotyped before I'd even opened my mouth. When I'd turn around to look, they would turn their backs on me and keep talking and snickering.

What was surprising to me was when I showed up at the saunas in Sydney, I heard similar conversations against Asians, specifically Chinese.  It seemed inappropriate and unnecessary. I recall one occasion where guys were standing around as they do in the sauna, just chilling waiting for interesting guys to show up...........And there were these 2 white blokes in their late 20s I'm guessing, discussing whether they would hook up with a Chinese guy.

One absolutely refused saying he didn't regard Chinese as "men".  The other said there was no way he'd "kiss a chink" and that as a last resort, he'd  "take a brown guy over a chink."

.........and this is being said as I'm standing there a few feet away from them.

Look, I'm not politically correct or one of these hypersensitive Asians, but it seemed offensive. They knew I was standing nearby......it almost felt like they were trying to provoke me into a reaction.  I just shut up and walked away. As I wandered around the sauna, I noticed that other Chinese, some of whom were certainly masculine and gym built, were also getting rejected, shunned or ignored.  We made eye contact, but never said a word.  Instinctively, all the Chinese guys in the sauna knew what was happening and why.

When I moved to Very Rich Megacity for work, I knew this was a major international city, waaaay more than Sydney would ever be.  As I checked out the bars and saunas, I was pleasantly surprised to find that the Asian and Chinese guys here found me attractive and in many cases, were pretty cute or built themselves. I got a lot of attention and action from and with GAMs in several saunas around town.

I was also prepared to be more openminded to whites.  I felt it was important not to bring over any "baggage" from my past experience in gay Sydney.

Chatting to the other GAMs, I started hearing similar stories of in-your-face racism, shunning, and rejection from whites.  These GAMs all had one thing in common - they had also been born in or raised in the West.  So whether these guys were ABCs, BBCs, CBCs or whatever kind of bananas, there was a consistency in what they were saying. I'm not saying that every western-born GAM is an outcast who's been scarred for life, but  I found it difficult to believe that all of them could be lying about their experiences in the gay bars and saunas in the West.

What I've found since moving to Very Rich Megacity, is that my initial attraction to whites as a result of my upbringing, has given way to an attraction to Asians.  If I was to be honest, I think a large part of it has been the sense of shared disgust at white behaviour - both the overt and covert racism.

Honestly, I've been dumbfounded and gratified by the attention that the local gay Asians and the other gay "bananas" have given me.  For the first time in a long time, I actually feel like I belong.

The other day, I was in the sauna in the middle of some group fun with some hot muscleboy GAMs, and I thought, "where have you guys been all my life.....??"

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