If I Really Said It

Observing fags in their natural habitats, FuelMix notices that the individual people skills of fags towards each other is sub-standard. 

Fags will sing all day about “the community” as if they were some kind of gym-bunny Amish helping each other dress for the circuit party or putting up the Vodka tent at the Pride Picnic.  Inherent in the notion of “community”  are shared values, commonality and support.  Fags will come together when it suits them, usually in some kind of “drama” e.g. a condo development that kills off their hangouts, a police raid on a gay sauna,  political issues, more funding for outreach programs, that kinda shit.

Yet most of the time, Fagland – whether as a postal code or a state of mind (or both) – is a collection of intensely lonely, paranoid, insecure, emotionally fragile, venomous psyches.  Behind the façade of muscles, denim, leather, feathered boas, after-parties, Oscar parties, cafes, easy sex  and piano bars is a raging and chronic state of civil war.

Why is that....?

1.   The Fag As a Child and Teenager

No matter how nurturing or hostile the early home environment, a fag knows at a young age that, as a fag, they’re not gonna “fit in”.

The fag develops a behavioural defense mechanism – it could be shyness, artistic ability, academic achievement, the Chess Club, editor of the school rag, excelling in sports – anything to shield against the brutality and taunting that inevitably comes their way.  Fags talk about “gaydar” as if it were exclusive to them. Yet in High School, how is it that str8 guys are able to zero in on a gay guy as soon as he enters the room – no matter how str8 looking or acting he may be? 

2.   The Fag As A Young Adult

That behavioural defense mechanism becomes ingrained.  Even while exploring the gay scene from 18 up, the fag is constantly weighing how far he should come Out, to whom and when.  Whom can he trust? Should he just suffocate in the closet?

The smiling faces at the bars and saunas soon expose the reality that a fag is easily exploitable and disposable. Fake names, fake phone numbers, the 2 boyfriends who introduced him to crack and the other 2 who ripped him off plus the one who infected him, conspire to make the fag wary of his own kind early.

3.   Love and Commitment

It could happen.  More often than not, it’s a string of broken and bitter endings. No parameters were set, no real agreements reached other than rent and groceries.  They got by on wild sex; or “don’t ask don’t tell”.  Most of the time, one didn’t know where the other was. Don't assume that legalizing Gay Marriage will change ingrained behaviour overnight.

4.   Technology

Fags love their gadgets, yet every  technological development since the printing press right up to Smart Phones and I-pads make it easier to lie. That's why hordes of str8s, bi-curious and other fuckwits with a wedding band and kids in college, are "trying fag".  Their people skills are based on how well they can cover their tracks. With the Edward Snowden exposures of mass internet surveillance such as "PRISM", "Boundless Informant" et al., their discretion is potentially compromised.

  
5.   Web Sites And Chat Rooms

We’ve all swallowed the line that the internet has turned the world into an inter-connected global village and that we have the freedom to communicate. Yet simultaneously it is clear that our use of language is being “dumbed down”.  We are losing the richness of vocabulary to Political Correctness, text messages, poorly drafted e-mails, emoticons, 144 characters on Twitter, fake profiles with high failure rates, cyber-abuse or just outright silence and shunning.

Fag websites either want your money or waste your time or both.  Fags will grin and say they only go to chat rooms to see who’s around.  OK….but you can easily spend 2 hours on it and find yourself getting pissed off.  If the internet is all about inter-connectivity, then you – and the 200 other fags in the chat room are also getting pissed off.

So they lie in wait and ambush a fag whose profile and comments they don’t like.  The irony is a fag doesn’t click into a chat room looking for a fight.  It just happens. Just like High School.  He simmers for the rest of the day.

6.   The Sauna

A great place for the fag to practice  his attitudinal skills, that sexual position he saw on the porn site and to smoke crack.  His people skills..? Not so much.

7.   Comment

As the world becomes more unstable and more violent, the need to have people that can be trusted will become critical. Fagland is the very antithesis of Trust.  There is very little open and honest communication.  It is an isolationist sub-culture where the collective assessment is that it is too risky to be open and vulnerable; or to be frank and direct.

There is a major - and coercive -  unwritten code of behavioural silence.  It's easier to divert the fag into drink, drug and mindless sex.. The surface banter that passes as tolerance and outrageous humour, hides a complicity to stifle the most authentic of human expression – what one man truly wants to say to another man.

Originally published 5 April 2011.
Amended and Republished 12 July 2013 | 16 October 2014

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