Gay Sauna Etiquette 5

How Do I Get Action ?

The good news is that everybody is looking for the same thing.  The bad news is that not everyone is gonna get it.  The reality is that no matter how attractive you think you are and regardless of what the other fags tell you ("OMG....you're soooo Haaawt, you could get anyone in here...!!") you're not going to appeal to everybody.  So don't even try.

Fag nature is such that even if they find you achingly attractive, they'll turn you down just to show the other guys in the sauna that they're not desperate (they are) and you're just not that attractive - to them.  The trick is not to take anything personally, whether the compliments, or the rejections, or the cold shoulder, or the fag head swivel, or the Stand & Model.  At some level, every fag in a sauna is desperate for action.  They wouldn't be there if they weren't - even if they tell you that they're just chillin' to let the stress from the office evaporate.

So....How Do I Get Noticed ?

If you're attractive and have turned the attitude right down then:

• Expect to be followed around the sauna.  It's like a circuit.  Everybody just goes around and around looking for different hotties to follow, proposition and fuck
• Expect people to brush against you whether you're naked or wearing a towel
• Expect people to come and whisper in your ear that they think you're hot and invite you to play
• Expect to make intense eye contact
• Expect people to smile more - and a little smile from you goes a long way
• Expect people to nod in your direction to join them when you're in the porn lounges or in the Dark Area
• Expect people to touch you in the shower, the steam room the dry sauna, the jacuzzi
• Expect to be followed into the toilets
• Expect people to stop and compliment you
• Expect people to hang around outside your private room waiting for your signal 
• Do all the above to the other fags
• Play with yourself more - in the Dark Room Corridors, in the corridors near the Private Rooms, or if you're in the Private Room, turn on the light to a comfy level of brightness, open the door and get the show on the road.  If you play with yourself, they will come.........(pun intended)

A gay sauna is the place to show off. If you have the body to pull it off plus a pleasing disposition that takes things lightly,  you'll be a hit.  Sadly, there's a lot of scowling in there, simply because the fag is modelling an expression he's seen in Men's Vogue or he's pissed off that YOU'RE getting the attention and he isn't. That's the reality of a gay sauna.  No matter how tall, how hunky, how muscled the fag is, at heart he's an emotional envy-ridden pygmy.  There's nothing more pathetic than a fag throwing a hissy fit coz you scored with the hottie and he didn't.  You'll be seeing a lot of that.  Heck you may even get shoved and verbally abused out of spite.  It happened to FuelMix.


So...it's OK To Suck N' Fuck All Over The Premises?

Here are FuelMix's Rules:

• The Locker Room - a lingering kiss or a peck on the cheek. No more than that.
• The Main TV Living Room - a hug and a cuddle is good enough. People have come to chill and chat.
• The Food Counter - swipe some freebie snacks to munch in the private rooms with your buddy, or to have food sex with your buddy in the private rooms.  That can be a nutritious ton of sexy fun. Make sure you wipe up the private room afterwards.
• The Gay Sauna Gym - if it happens it happens, no one's gonna lecture you.  And besides are you seriously gonna deny that you've never fantasized about fuckin' in a gym?
• The Porn Lounges - uhhh.....yeah, you can either get publicly down n' dirty there, or get cranked up and haul your buddy to a room.  It's all good.
• The Dark Area - ditto.
• The Showers - the showers are where the fags come to cool off or clean up. Of course action (and group action) happens there too, but let the fags perform their ablutions and give you a clear signal to play.  Otherwise you'll end up being a fuckin' nuisance.  It's perfectly fine to stand nearby and ogle the hottie as he showers. Many showers in the gay saunas are set up for maximum visibility by the passing traffic.
• The Toilets - Oh yeah.....lot of fantasy sex goes on in there, particularly at the urinals and in the cubicles. Like the showers, wait for a cue.  Some fags don't like being stared at while they piss. Apparently it freezes their urethra and they just can't piss.  Guess it's a leftover from all that communal pissing in grade school and high school.
• The Glory Hole Booths - If you're gonna enter a Glory Hole Booth then DO SOMETHING in there.  Either suck, get sucked, fuck or be fucked. Remember that Glory Hole Booths are sometimes arranged next to each other, so if you don't do anything, a minimum of 3 people are affected.  That is a total waste of space and time. FuelMix has been known to bang on the doors and throw out idle occupants. (But you'd better have a ton of self-confidence to do that).
• The Steam Room, The Sauna And The Jacuzzi - Yep, and lots of it.  Group action often starts in there and moves to the rooms.
• The Corridors Near The Private Rooms - sure why not? You can block traffic, start a party, expose yourself and draw attention. What's the worst that can happen? People who wanna get past will just brush against you.
• The Private Rooms - why do you think they're called "Private Rooms" fags?
• The Terrace Or The Rooftop - check with the staff what the etiquette is.

Pretty comprehensive series huh?  FuelMix isn't done yet.

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