Thieving Nigga 1

In the middle of Golden Mile here in Very Rich Megacity, is an enclave of niggas and nigga-rettes (most of them massive-assed whores) which is pretty much centered around the 7-11 store. FuelMix dubbed this area “Chicago”. 

The majority of these niggas are African niggas from Ghana and Nigeria. A small percentage live permanently in VRM, but the majority are here on business. Specifically, the mobile phone business whose nigga epicentre is Chungking Mansions, a massive, grubby, dilapidated multi-storey, high rise fire trap that has been around since the early 1950s and is conveniently located right next to the Holiday Inn Golden Mile. 

There’s tons that can be said about Chungking Mansions, a building as famous as it is notorious, as loathed as much as it is loved. For the purposes of this posting, all the fascinated reader needs to know is that these niggas, who live in the many low-budget guesthouses and hostels in the building, buy hundreds of millions of dollars of new and refurbished mobile phones from the sellers in the building’s shopping arcade for re-sale in Ghana and Nigeria. It’s a huge business and makes Chungking Mansions one of the powerful economic engines of Golden Mile. 

Usually these niggas are peaceful law abiding types. They mix amongst themselves. Everybody knows who they are, where they stay and what they do. They won’t be found living or working in other parts of VRM.  They will not be seen in the high end areas of Central, SoHo or Admiralty.  You won't even find them in Wanchai.

However, since these niggas are always on the lookout for mobile phones, there’s a thriving business in stolen phones.  

One evening, FuelMix was navigating through “Chicago” when suddenly, a 6' 4" buck-toothed butt-ugly nigga appeared from the crowd next to FuelMix attempting to be friendly. 

Nigga (with thick African village accent): Hey! Brother……! 

FuelMix (on high alert): What….? 

Nigga: Where you from brother? 

FuelMix (sensing a con): Chicago 

Nigga: Yeah? Me too !! 

FuelMix: Which part? 

Nigga: Oh you know….Chicago it is a big city riii-gght? 

FuelMix: Whaddya want? 

Nigga: Can I borrow your mobile phone? 

FuelMix (points to the hordes of niggas congregating outside 7-11): Ask them 

Nigga: They don’t have a phone!! C’mon man lend me your phone 

FuelMix: I’m not carrying one. 

Nigga: You tourist? 

FuelMix: Yeah 

Nigga: Let’s go back to your hotel! 

FuelMix: Why? 

Nigga: So I can borrow your mobile phone!! 

FuelMix: Why don’t you use a public phone? 

Nigga: No man…!! I wanna use your mobile phone 

FuelMix: I have a better idea…. 

Nigga: What’s that brother? 

FuelMix: See that cop over there? I’ll ask him if you can borrow his mobile phone 

Nigga: (runs away)

Originally published 13 June 2008

Amended and Republished 22 October 2015 | 7 October 2016

Coming Up In Part 2:  
Stupid Gay White Tourists Looking To Fuck The Downtown Niggas: What They Don't Know....