1. What The Hong Kong Press Reported
2. What FuelMix Thinks
3. Behaviour Of Gay Men In Hong Kong
Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:
1. What The Hong Kong Press Reported
In a city already known for its low sex drive, there is a new generation of men who are uninterested in romance and relationships. Whether technology is distracting them, or its the result of work or life pressure, women are feeling left out.
Most women would agree on the quintessential qualities they seek in a
male partner (besides looks): that he should be kind, gentle and
considerate. This is especially so for long-term relationships. The good
news is Hong Kong has plenty of men around (who might possess some or
all of these qualities), but the bad news is that an increasing number
of them are uninterested in dating or getting married, and some have
gone as far as to ditch romantic relationships for good.
Leading the charge is an infamous cohort of
homebound men known as “otaku”. A Japanese term for men who are socially
awkward and have limited family and romantic lives, these “geeks” tend
to be diehard anime and manga fans who have little interest in dating.
Then there are the “soshoku danshi”, which
translates as “grass-eating men” or “herbivore men”. The term, coined by
Japanese columnist Maki Fukasawa, describes a monk-like approach to
life and relationships, in other words, no sex.
There might be exceptions, but these men would
rather invest themselves in online gaming and other solo activities than
seek female company in their free time.
Studies in Japan estimate that this class of
men, normally in their 20s and 30s, account for around 60 per cent to 70
per cent of the male population. Obviously, their reluctance to
procreate is a major cause for concern. Japan has had one of lowest
birth rates in the world for nearly a decade now.
Now Hong Kong appears to be following in Japan’s footsteps.
According to Dr Paul Wong Wai-ching, associate professor of the
Department of Social Work and Social Administration at the University of
Hong Kong, the city has seen a rise in the number of “grass-eating
men”.
“These herbivore men don’t connect with others, they don’t establish
their own families or have children and don’t really contribute anything
meaningful to society, either tangibly or intangibly,” says Wong. “They
are like parasites who often live with their parents. So you can
imagine how it’s going to affect society in the long run, socially and
economically.”
Like Japan, our society is rapidly ageing, he
adds. “These ‘grass-eating men’ are not capable of taking care of their
ageing parents and neither are they capable of taking care of themselves
when they become old, they are childless so they will have no family
support,” he says.
Another type of man you won’t be finding on any
dating apps are the “modern-day hermits”. They seek extreme
disconnection and isolation from the rest of society, they become
practically invisible. This phenomenon is triggered by an overburdened
sense of responsibility, and when the pressure becomes too unbearable it
causes the person to pull away and unplug from society in a kind of
self-imposed exile.
After a long-term detachment from
society, their social skills diminish and this affects their ability to
find employment. This has a domino effect of creating youths who are
financially dependent on family and friends, jobless and lacking in
drive. Not only does this mean these hermits never leave the nest or
mature, but they are far less likely to have long-term relationships,
romantic or friendship-based.
It seems counter intuitive that in a world as busy and interconnected as ours is, we are now lonelier than ever.
We might not be as bad as Japan, with nearly
half a million of these social recluses, according to a 2012 study, but
there are still an estimated 20,000 to 40,000 hidden away in Hong Kong,
according to Wong.
Whatever the difference in numbers between here
and Japan, this disconnection is threatening the social fabric that
binds our community and we need to do something about it.
While we can agree that dating can be
terrifying, unforgiving and unpredictable, it is a rite of passage that
many of us undertake as we grow up.
At heart, humans are gregarious creatures, so
whether it’s meeting someone at a party, bar or anywhere else, forming
human connections is an integral part of our being. Relationships and
friendships are highly important for humans.........
We can blame the prevalence of smartphones, laptops, computers, tablets
and other electronic devices. We can even blame it on e-sports, a new
pseudo sport that is sweeping the city with government backing. It can
also be interpreted as another excuse for people to submerge themselves
in the digital world rather than experience the real word.
“Those who advocate e-sports are
sugar coating it as a genuine sport that encourages team interaction.
It’s nonsense because it is just a limited form of interaction between a
few members of a small team,” Wong says.
It’s a mistake to provide an escape hatch for
people who want to avoid human interaction. If we continue to condone
this kind of antisocial behaviour, we have to bear the risks and social
consequences that come with it.
COMING UP IN PART 2:
2. What FuelMix Thinks
3. Behaviour of Gay Men In Hong Kong
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