Soda Sauna (formerly Action) 6

1/F Overseas Building,
417 - 421 Hennessy Road
Causeway Bay
Hong Kong (same location as Action)
MTR:  Causeway Bay,  Exit B

Tel: 2893 7027 (same number as Action)
Web: https://sodasaunahk.wordpress.com 
Price: HK$130.00 | HK$150.00 on Sat, Sun & Public Holidays | HK$100.00 with 6-visit stamp card

** OPEN 24 HOURS**  
(Except Mondays when it closes at 11:30pm)

Slim-fit and gym-fit white guys showing up.....

Mooching around Causeway Bay on a Thursday evening, having been buffeted by the human turbulence swirling in and around Sogo, FuelMix headed towards Soda hoping to be serviced in the style to which he was accustomed.

Walking underneath the *cough* "notorious" *cough* Canal Street flyover, FuelMix's crotch bumped into a 30s friendly GAM-Throat-On-The-Street who had just left Soda.

GAMTOTS:  Waaah...!!  FuelMix...!! long time no see....!! Are you going to Soda..?

FM:  Yeah....haven't been for a while

GAMTOTS:  More white guys showing up....good news for me..!!  There are some in there right now...!! I had a good time...!!

FM [rolls eyes]:  Where are they coming from...?

GAMTOTS:  Well, as you know,  I go to Central Escalator also and I've been telling the white guys to try Soda because it is bigger.....and so now they are showing up and seem to like it

FM:  CE gets really ugly fat whites too.....what kind of guys did you speak too..?

GAMTOTS [grins]: The better looking types....30something, slim fit, gym fit, professional types...there are some in Soda right now, that I had seen in CE.  Also, white tourists are coming to Soda.  I've seen them several times and they are coming from US, South Africa, Russia. I asked them how they found out.....they said some guy's blog....can't remember the name.....something like "Fuel blog..."

FM:  Oh...

GAMTOTS:   Anyway, go and see Soda.  The white guys are still there.  Also some cute GAMs too.

FM:  OK, thanks


And with that, FuelMix showed up at Soda.  Sure enough, there were 5 white guys with fit bods wandering around.  Not sure whether they were local whites or tourists, but they were white.  They appeared to be getting action with each other and with some easily-influenced GAMs.  Two of them pawed FuelMix, but they were politely declined.

It has to be said that even on weekday evenings, Soda has no trouble getting people in the door.  Most of the customers this time were slim GAM office-types.  The visibly muscular GAMs had a rancid attitude and ended up cruising and scowling at everyone they passed.  That's when one knows that Hatred is alive and well in the saunas.

A very friendly muscled GAM, who worked out in Physical and spoke really good English, cruised FuelMix.  Back in the room, it was a lot of fun with kisses, cuddles and exploration. The GAM was eager to please.  The boy's mouth and tongue went everywhere.  Nice comfortable face to sit on too.

So, no complaints about Soda for the moment when it comes to action.

We will again point out that there's no need to dim the lighting in the Locker Area.  That's just plain annoying.

Once again, the level of cigarette smoke near the toilets was a health hazard. FuelMix just went into both toilets and opened the windows.  So what if it was chilly outside...?  Fuck these smokers.

• Readers may submit reviews of gay saunas in any Asian city;
• We reserve the right NOT to publish reviews we deem suspicious, inaccurate or self-serving;
• FuelMix no longer gives personalized sauna advice; 

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Grindr Fatigue

Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

It’s pointless to try and argue the validity of apps like Grindr and Scruff in today’s gay culture. Whether we like it or not, social media is on a fast track to being the primary way in which we communicate with one another. But there is a difference between using gay social apps to meet new people and spending hours upon hours fixated on the sexual gratification of dick picks and hook-up possibilities. Gay hook-up sites are nothing new, but the increasing popularity and constant accessibility of social media apps has led, in many ways, to the dehumanization of gay men. In other words, Grindr, Scruff and the rest of the lot are creating a bunch of gay sex robots who only know how to communicate with each other via pictures and sexual function.

Anyone who uses social media has been somewhat limited by the nature of engagement. But whereas Facebook at least requires somewhat of a sense of transparency and accountability, apps like Grindr allow the user to operate under the guise of anonymity. This, unfortunately, plays into a darker side of our psyche that takes an unfiltered and inhumane approach to human interaction where the user treats other users like players in a sexual video game.

While at a work meeting or getting a coffee, a person can practically annihilate a person’s self esteem. This, because vulgarity, rudeness and all-out prejudice thinly veiled under the pretense of “honesty,” has sadly become the status quo. A user often forgets that there is a person behind the torso picture. This casual daily phenomenon has led many people to be saddened by the state of gay culture and the humanity of the modern gay man.

The virtual sex lives of gay men have even caught the attention of female columnists like Samantha Allen, a tech and health writer for The Daily Beast. In a recent article titled, “‘No Blacks’ Is Not a Sexual Preference, It’s Racism,’” Allen calls out the state of sexual racism that she says is particularly heated within the gay community.

She writes, “If you’re a gay man, phrases like ‘no blacks’ and ‘no Asians’ aren’t just words that you’d find on old signs in a civil rights museum, they are an unavoidable and current feature of your online dating experience. On gay dating apps like Grindr and Scruff, some men post blunt and often offensive disclaimers on their profiles such as ‘no oldies,’ ‘no fems,’ and ‘no fatties.’”

Naturally, the crude and rudimentary nature of “Grindr speech” is the type of language that most people would not use in face-to-face communication. And for good reason, this form of speech has virtually crippled the self-esteem of many of these popular hook-up app’s users.

John Harrell is an HIV-positive man from Seattle who chooses to disclose his status on his profile. He has gotten a variety of negative responses over his status, but this is the one he remembers most.
“OMG…WTF!!! You’re PROUD to be an AIDS infected Pandemic spreading, Pariah of Society, and cheer when others are infected with AIDS so you’re not the only one Spreading the Filth?!!! OMG!!!! 

Steve Martinez.....is also no stranger to encountering aggressive and hateful language on gay hook-up apps because of his HIV status.

“I was chatting with an older man on daddy hunt,” said Martinez. “The chatting was getting sexual and before meeting him I disclosed my HIV status. He responded with ‘you're disgusting.’ I replied he was ignorant for his age. Then he started calling me a liar and a dirty slut. I reported him to Daddyhunt. They reviewed our conversation and deleted his profile. Shortly after, I deleted my account. I feel kinda insecure and a little afraid now to meet new guys.”

These are but a few ways in which users of these apps can experience harmful engagements from other users. The anonymity granted by these apps can and often do lead to behavior with which the average user would be mortified to be associated with. Yet, even the most astute public persona can be guilty of reducing themselves to their lowest form. By simply using a face picture as a person’s user profile image, the language and behavior a [of] user is usually markedly improved.

But the widespread adoption of social media “hook-up” communication hasn’t only negatively influenced the way we virtually communicate, it has also spilled into our real life relationships. Many users of apps like Grindr and Scruff have reported developing an outright obsession with the virtual hook-up hunt. This form of Grindr mania, whether it be short-lived or a constant presence, has the ability to hinder a person’s relationships, work life, and even their chances at meeting potential love or lust interests ‘IRL.’[In Real Life]

Luke Stephens from Connecticut remembers when he became consumed with the art of the Grindr chase.

“It was Christmas and my mom was visiting me,” said Stephens. “I would’ve given her more of my time, but I was obsessed with three guys on Grindr whom I hadn’t even yet met. It was about the fourth day when I had had just about as much as I could take – so I deleted the conversations and deleted Grindr. My mom left a day later and I felt such guilt for not strengthening the familial relationship that was more important to me than some Grindr guys who didn’t respect the human being on the other end of the digital wall."

Social media hook-up apps are not inherently good or bad; they are merely the newest form of human interface. And like with anything new, it can take some time to develop and perfect our best style of communication. This isn’t a macro problem, it comes down to a micro decision of an individual to treat others like humans instead of virtual sex bots and balance your own virtual communication with your three dimensional life. So, if you believe that you are a nice guy in person, make sure your virtual self isn’t a total douche.

-----"Grindr Fatigue and the Dehumanization of Gay Men", hivequal.org October 28, 2015

SEE ALSO (by FuelMix): 

• Old School
• Days Of Whine And Neurosis

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
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The Velvet Rage

Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

The window of Alan Downs’s therapy practice overlooks Santa Monica Boulevard and the heart of Los Angeles’s glossy gay ghetto, West Hollywood. The psychologist can stare out at the gay gym he uses and the “very gay” restaurant he dined at the evening before we talk. In the distance is the Hollywood sign. Downs is at the heart of LA’s gay community, yet the book that has made his name completely reassesses the modern gay experience, holding up an unsparing mirror to it.

Downs’s spry self-help manual is called The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World. It ........ addresses the myth of gay pride and, after three decades of post-Aids concentration on gay men’s physical health, turns inward to their mental wellbeing.

Its snappy title is slipping, sometimes ironically, into the gay lexicon. Man orders fifth pint at the bar: “It’s OK, it’s just my velvet rage.” Boyfriend finds partner trawling through the thousands of profiles on sex-on-demand website Gaydar: “But it’s my velvet rage.”

Downs coined the phrase to refer to a very specific anger he encountered in his gay patients – whether it was manifested in drug abuse, promiscuity or alcoholism – and whose roots, the book argues, are found in childhood shame and parental rejection. “Velvet rage is the deep and abiding anger that results from growing up in an environment when I learn that who I am as a gay person is unacceptable, perhaps even unlovable,” he explains. “This anger pushes me at times to overcompensate and try to earn love and acceptance by being more, better, beautiful, more sexy – in short, to become something I believe will make me more acceptable and loved.”

It is a controversial theory, but for a book whose only marketing campaign has been word of mouth, it is having a profound impact. The Velvet Rage was first published in 2005, but it has been a slow-burn success........

Downs’s argument is that feelings of worthlessness can be created in childhood quite unintentionally, and these lead gay adults to search for an unachievable perfection. “We have created a gay culture that is, in most senses, unlivable. The expectation is that you have the beautiful body, that you have lots of money, that you have a beautiful boyfriend with whom you have wonderful, toe-curling sex every night… none of us have that. To try to achieve that really makes us miserable. The next phase of gay history, I believe, is for us to come to terms with creating a culture that is livable and comfortable.”

Downs’s belief is shared by other mental-health professionals. Therapist David Smallwood, who is the former head of addiction treatment at the Priory, and a blunt-speaking recovering alcoholic, goes one step further. “Gay pride is an adaption,” he says, “a way of dealing with something we can’t deal with. We put on this TV picture and what we show is: ‘I’m proud to be gay.’ Underneath that, we might be dying inside.”

Downs identifies a litany of compulsions as adult manifestations of “velvet rage”. “If you give people in pain an anaesthetic they make use of it,” says Tim Franks, from the British gay charity Pace. “They may then become habitual users of that anaesthetic.”

Less problematic gay issues, but ones that struck a deep chord with me, include the unusually sophisticated knowledge of superficial cultures – pop music, fashion or film, for example – among many gay men. These can be seen as inauthentic compensations for the rejection we felt as children. Downs notes the high numbers of gay men working as stylists, hairdressers and fashion designers. “Because of our childhoods we’re good at these jobs. It is a specific gay talent because of invalidation. We are talented at stepping into something that’s a mess and cleaning it up and putting a fabulous facade on it." 

The Velvet Rage also deals with depression, self-harm and suicide, body dysmorphia and eating disorders – four times as likely in gay men as their straight counterparts. Conspicuous consumption and a culture of exhaustive gay acquisition – that absolute need to have the newest and shiniest and best of everything – is deconstructed. ........

“Clearly, because I was Pentecostal, I was going straight to hell for being gay,” says Downs. “Hence my own experience with shame. I often say the God of my childhood had anger-management problems.” Churches are particularly culpable, believes Tim Franks, for velvet rage. “Some gay men grow up in cultures where they will be told in no uncertain terms that God hates them. That’s a very significant message to grow up with.” Educational establishments don’t acquit themselves too well, either, he adds. “Homophobic bullying in schools in this country is still epidemic. It’s absolutely rife. Most British schools are not safe places to be gay.”

By putting the more celebrated, creative aspects of gay culture in the spotlight, and suggesting that beneath them lurk serious psychological issues, the book has caused a stir, and Downs himself has drawn criticism. “It’s a minority of readers, but it’s a sizable minority,” he says. “Probably somewhere around 15% of readers will get quite angry. The question I get a lot is, ‘If I want to have as much sex as I want then what is the problem with that? Why pathologise that?’ I am not, in fact, pathologising that, but people have interpreted it as such. My response to that is if that’s working for you, if that’s bringing you lasting fulfilment and creating a life that you feel really is the life that you want to live, then go for it.”

Is this all about rebranding self-loathing for a new era? “Only if you buy the argument that the cause of our problems is being gay,” says Downs, “and not the invalidation we went through as children. I do fear that as the book becomes more popular those who would like to misinterpret it or to take some small piece of it and take it out of context could do so. But what I’m saying is that it’s invalidation – not being gay – that creates the problems.”

Everyone WHO I speak to about Velvet Rage insists it is important to remember, amid the hype around the book, that, as Franks puts it: “Many gay men are able to grow up and have happy, successful adult lives with meaningful relationships, friendships and sex. I don’t want us to get into this idea that we’re all broken.”

You imagine that if the book brings greater awareness of gay mental-health issues, that can only be a good thing. Franks began his work at Pace with a systematic review of National Institute for Mental Health research.  “What they found was that lesbian and gay people were up to two-and-a-half times more likely to become alcohol or drug dependent, over two-and-a-half times more likely to suffer from anxiety or depression disorders. Gay men particularly were up to four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual counterparts. The report concludes by saying that ‘lesbian, gay and bisexual people are at significantly higher risk of mental disorder, suicide ideation, substance abuse and deliberate self-harm than heterosexual people.’ This is a very, very serious issue.”

The report further says: “It is likely that the social hostility, stigma and discriminations most LGB people experience is at least likely to be part of the reason for the higher rates of psychological morbidity observed. Prejudice against homosexuality is unlike other intolerance in that it can reach into families. Rejection by parents of their own children because of their sexual orientation is likely to have a severe emotional impact.”

The government welfare cuts are not good news here. “By default rather than by design we are going to be massacred,” says Franks. “We’re in deep trouble. Less than a third of mental-health services in this country monitor sexual orientation. Our needs are invisible. When mental-health charities are planning what to provide for we are not on the radar. Nobody is looking.”

................ 


If gay men are going to have to self-diagnose and treat their own mental-health issues, lending a well-thumbed copy of The Velvet Rage might present the first Elastoplast to the problem. “When you read it, it all seems so very obvious,” says therapist David Smallwood, “but no one had written it down before. I don’t want it to seem like I’m a single-issue fanatic. All I’m saying is that when I see someone that is troubled in this way I will bet my next 20 years’ salary on where it started. I start dealing with gay men that have issues around sex or drugs or alcohol and within five minutes I know that we are into their childhood. So I think that every gay man to some extent will have been affected by velvet rage.”

Downs has assumed an almost messianic place in the lives of those who have absorbed his thinking. He has broken the implicit language of half a century’s gay culture and flipped it on its head. The central axis of an individual’s gay narrative, one that used to concentrate on the coming-out story either as a teenager or later, has been shifted back into childhood. The result is that gayness appears to be a psychological as much as sexual condition. Historically, gay culture has been underpinned by the word “pride”. Now Downs has identified a clear relationship with shame.

“I do think that a lot of the issues in The Velvet Rage have pushed gay men and gay culture to create thoroughly wonderful things,” says Downs, “but the question that each of us must ask is: ‘Is this the life that I want for myself?’ When you read the biographies of most people who have been incredibly successful in the creative world, they haven’t always achieved a personal life that is satisfying and fulfilling. That is my concern as a psychologist.”

Downs is currently writing his follow-up book. It will be called Peter Pan Becomes a Man. “The subtitle is The Eternal Boy Grows Up. The new book really delves into our emotional adolescence and how we seem to be stuck in a cycle and how it stops us leading deeply attached and healthy relationships.”..........................

-----"Pride and prejudice for gay men", The Guardian, 20 February 2011

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Without Further Comment 2

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The Watersports Ambassador 2

Best Gay Saunas In Hong Kong For Watersports Fun

The 32 year old, western-educated, professional, local Chinese (who describes himself as, "The Watersports Ambassador"), continues his conversation with FuelMix in the sauna:

Unlike Europe and the US, there's no purpose-built gay space in Hong Kong for watersports parties. I've been doing the rounds of the saunas in town to see which are the best venues for watersports action. Due to the way that saunas are laid out in Hong Kong, I just looked at the suitability of the Shower Areas.  Do you want me to tell you....?  You can tell your buddies and who knows...? Maybe things will happen...

[Set out by FuelMix in alphabetical order with "The Watersports Ambassador's" comments, as best as he can recall]:

Arena - The shower area is huge and just perfect, especially the 2 more private showers behind the partition wall;

Big Top - Nah, it's very small and very public and there's usually a queue of people waiting for the shower;

Birds - Forget it.  Too dark.

Central Escalator - Nah, too small;

Colony - That shower area is decent sized and has potential.  If you get turned on being watched by the guys in hot tub, that could be fun;

Galaxy - quite possible, 'coz most of the showers are private - except the ones near the Steam Room;

Gateway - possible if they're not too many peeps around.  Nice shower area;

Gong Guan - oh wow..!! Just perfect.  Very nicely done shower area with just the right amount of privacy and publicity.  Can you imagine how hot it would be if you're showering near the glass window as people are walking by and there's a guy kneeling down in front of you and you're pissing on him as you're showering...??!!  And there's also the slightly hidden showers.

Hutong - just too attitudinal wherever you go in the premises.  Those guys are probably drinking their own piss anyway when no one's looking.....HAHAHAHAHAHA..!!! 

Jungle - the showers have potential 'coz they're behind a partition.  Bit of attitude though.

KK Fitness - haven't been there yet.  But I'm told it's a much older crowd with some younger guys.

My Way - Nice shower area, big and bright.  Very public so it requires some confident guys to play.  But the showers have some great potential;

QQ Fitness - Shower area has surprisingly good potential, especially the 2 large private showers;

Rainbow - Haven't been;

Soda - Small shower area done in black tiles. Certainly has potential;

You know the Gay Hanky Code..?  Yeah..?  If I'm downtown and wearing jeans, I stick a yellow hanky in the back right hand pocket.  You know what that means...?  Man...it would be awesome if a hot guy stopped me in the street and said, "I saw the hanky, let's do it....there's a sauna nearby".

If  I'm cruising around, feeling slutty, I've run into white gay guys on the street who've spotted my hanky.  Their eyes widen and they're thinking like, "OMG...!! Is this chink really into piss...??!! Fuck yeah...!!"  I smile and lick my lips as I walk past.

Lately, if I walk past hot local Chinese with my yellow hanky sticking outta my right butt, all I get is, "nice hanky..!!"  AAAAAaaaaaargh....!!!

 
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The Watersports Ambassador 1

"When you honestly share who you are, the men who are a match for it, will show up - and the better you will feel about yourself"
------The Watersports Ambassador 

A 32 year old, professional, western-educated, local Chinese talks about why he's a self-proclaimed "Ambassador For Watersports And Raunchier Sex".  The conversation took place at the sauna where "The Watersports Ambassador" cruised FuelMix:

I'm always looking for hot guys with muscular bodies and Cut cocks.  Unlike other gay guys, age and race are not an issue for me.  Body type, personality and open-mindedness are.  I'm not into stocky guys, fat guys, out-of-shape Daddy guys or really skinny twinks.  I'm not into smokers and drug-takers. I don't smoke, I'm drug and disease-free and I get tested.  Occasionally, if it's offered, I might do Poppers.

I don't bother with shit like Craigslist or Grindr or whatever.  None of that works for me.  I think it's a scam and it's depressing.  I didn't like the attitude, the time-wasting and frequently, the abuse I got when I honestly told them what I'm into.....talk about judgmental fags......

I'm into Piss and Raunch.  I got into it a few years ago after I attended the gay piss parties in San Diego and Los Angeles.  That's when I realized I'm a Bottom when it comes to that type of play.  I get turned on when I'm kneeling down in front of a hot guy and he's pissing on me - all over me, on my face, my lips, my body.  If I feel like drinking some,  I'll open my mouth and let his piss hit my tongue and I'll gulp it down too.  Often I'll deep throat his cock and let him control the piss flow down my throat while he spits on my face and continues to fuck my mouth while pissing down my throat.

I love using piss and spit as a means of sexual fun.  It broadens my repertoire and it broadens my appreciation of the man too.......a hot open-minded guy is a huge turn on..!!

When I realized I was attracted to piss and raunch play and that I really loved being a Bottom in that kind of play, it was really liberating.  I didn't have to explain myself to anybody, I had found my sexual niche and I was very happy.  The gay watersports venues are easy to find in the US and Europe. You don't have to waste your time looking for the right guys online and dealing with no shows.  At those watersports parties, at least 100 guys would show up, a lot of them with good bodies.

What I discovered when I was living in the US and attending the piss parties, was that I never got the stupid attitude that white guys would give an Asian guy in the saunas.....you know that whole "preference" shit..... I never felt or experienced that unspoken racism that normally exists in the saunas.......and you know what the irony was...?? Some of those watersports parties were actually held in the gay saunas where normally, the white customers were giving Asians attitude...!!  It was just a whole different crowd.

At those parties, I had no trouble finding guys of all ethnicities to play with, either individually or in groups.  First I thought, maybe because I was a piss bottom, being Asian was just fine with them........it was just a way they could act out their "superior" racism on me........but then, I started getting invitations to attend private gay piss parties from both Asians and whites who were a combination of Tops and Bottoms.  It was amazing......I could be a piss bottom AND I could be versatile when it came to fucking.....the guys were friendly, they were in great shape, there was no attitude - and we'd meet up afterwards for a burger and salad...!! HAHAHAHAHAHA...!!

That's when I realized something about gay guys into raunch.....there was waaaaay less attitude and racism and a lot more honesty.  I had guys who said that they were HIV+ and who said they would only piss on my body.  That was fine by me.  No harm done.

And here's the thing about piss play.  A lot of guys - especially here in Hong Kong - are totally ignorant about how safe it is compared to other gay sexual activities like barebacking or cum swallowing or sex under the influence of drugs.  

For example, there is no risk to you if someone pisses on your body.  Just shower it off.  Also, HIV cannot be transmitted by drinking piss.  But HIV can be transmitted in cum and saliva.  However, just like in sucking and fucking unprotected, if you swallow piss from another guy, you could ingest the micro-organisms of gonorrhea and chlamydia that live in his urethra - the piss shaft.  But, piss by itself, is sterile.  There is no risk to you if you drink your own piss.

If the guy is a heavy drug-user, then you could be ingesting the fluid remains of the drugs in his system. Not a good idea.

The point I'm making is that there are Gay Health resources online in which people can find out the pros and cons of watersports.  It just cracks me up when I see these stupid local Chinese guys chain-smoking in the sauna, taking Viagra, doing poppers, admitting to taking drugs - and then claiming they're healthy and only into safe sex.  Yeah right..... they're in denial, they're so fuckin' ignorant, they're not as healthy as they claim - and they're missing out on new and in some ways, a safer sexual experience.

Can I offer you some links about watersports.....?   You can pass them around to your friends and tell them it's from "The Watersports Ambassador..!!" **

FuelMix says:

**To get the links:

• write to fuelinjectedmale@live.hk 
• Subject Line: Piss On Me..!!
• make a request for the links
• state you are of legal age
• say why you like this blog

 Incomplete emails will be ignored
(VIP Readers can simply request the links) 

COMING UP IN PART 2:
Best Gay Saunas In Hong Kong For Watersports Fun
 
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Without Further Comment 1

Gay British Olympic diver, Tom Daley, interviewed by Graham Norton on the benefit of tight swimming trunks.....

Violence And Hatred In Gay Porn 4

FuelMix does not have any political or religious affiliation

5.   The Politics of Rage (Or, We Told You So)
6.   Now It All Makes Sense

 
5.   The Politics of Rage (Or, We Told You So)

1.  In the post, The Politics Of Rage, we said this:

2.   Anger Building For Years

1.  It's NOT about one election in one country or the personalities involved.  At best, one country's election are simply a symptom and metaphor for the massive sense of GLOBAL rage that's been building since we believe September 11, 2001.  Yeah that date.

2.  To us, that date marks the start of a policy of economic, financial and military genocide that has had - by design - utterly disastrous results.  In other words, The World Management Team that was manipulating events, was absolutely banking on the GLOBAL creation of never-ending chaos, human misery, economic inequality, artificially inflated asset bubbles, outrageous debt creation, debasement of currency and fraud.

2.   When societal dystopia reaches hyper-exaggerated levels (as in what we appear to be witnessing these days), individual and collective anger is a predictable corollary.   We've written about this at length in posts such as:

• The Politics Of Rage;
• Destruction, Disruption And Dissonance 1;
• Destruction, Disruption And Dissonance 2;
• Destruction, Disruption And Dissonance 3;
• Hail Satan 1;
• Hail Satan 2;
• Hail Satan 3;
• Hail Satan 4;
• Hail Satan 5;
• Hail Satan 6; 
• Violence, Islamophobia And Gay Porn;

3.   In Violence, Islamophobia And Gay Porn, we said this:

3.  What Is Driving Such Extremism..?

1.   ....... Look around the world these days and it's blatantly obvious that there is a massive spike in social, political and economic fault lines, schisms, polarizations, political distrust - peppered with disinformation, propaganda, corruption, fraud, lies, skewed justice in favour of the well-connected and seemingly endless wars.

2.   Overlay this with the acknowledgement that this is also the Apocalypse, the true meaning of which, is that which was hidden is now revealed......and one trait becomes obvious: there is anger everywhere in the face of what is being revealed. That anger is being fueled by a sense of betrayal and powerlessness, with the suspicion that this Chaos is being blatantly manipulated.

4.  We then went on to say:

4.   The Extreme Vigilante Mentality

1.   The anger has to be channeled somewhere.  That cascading sense of tumultuous social, economic, political and geopolitical anger fueled by betrayal and powerlessness, encourages an extreme vigilante mentality.

2.   That will manifest as:

• an armed to the teeth, mercenary, lawless, survival-oriented, frontier-mentality in real life; and / or

• vicariously violent, explicit, sexually extreme depictions of hatred of an identifiable group - for sexual gratification.  Remember, porn has always been an outlet for stress;

6.   Now It All Makes Sense

1.   In Part 2 of this series, we highlighted those countries which people felt were going in the wrong direction.  They were predominantly "First World" Western countries.  We then highlighted their economic and political concerns.  We then wrote about the growing sense of anger, hatred and rage on so many fronts - particularly in the West.

2.  The conclusion we've reached is that violence and hatred in gay porn is a convergence.  It is not merely a sexual fantasy protected by Free Speech or Freedom of Expression rights.  It is just as much a convergence of political, economic, social and demographic factors.  In other words, this kind of porn is both a fantasy and a symptom.

Originally published 25 February 2017
Republished 17 January 2018

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Violence And Hatred In Gay Porn 3

FuelMix does not have any political or religious affiliation

3.  Violence And Hatred In Gay Porn:  Convergence
4.  Faggotry Has A Little Problem...

3.  Violence And Hatred In Gay Porn:  Convergence

1.  For the record, we're not condoning or condemning the existence of violent and hate-filled gay porn.  We accept that on the continuum of the porn spectrum, people's "preferences" are going to be all over the place.  We are simply, and hopefully authentically, informing readers of what's out there and how it is possible to slip into these sites without even having the intention to find them - simply by clicking on a (sometimes innocently-named) source link that takes one down an eye-opening rabbit hole.

(a)  Targeted Groups In Violent Gay Porn:

• Immigrants;
• Muslims;
• Jews;
• Blacks;
• "Faggots","Perceived Faggots" and "Sub-human Faggots";
• "Faggot" Cash Slaves rich or poor;
• Twinks; 
• Anyone in a position of authority in the establishment;
• Catholic priests;

for abduction, savage beatings, hunting, torture, mutilation and murder.  Large amounts of graphic imagery on par with the most violent of video games, blurring the line between fantasy and reality.  Gratuitous violence condoned and actively encouraged on such sites


(b)  Vehicles Of Violence and Hatred In Gay Porn:

• Subliminal programming encouraging either extreme Alpha dominance or "faggot" and "sub-human" subservience with graphic imagery.  Available for free on Tumblr gay porn sites;
• Satanic worship - sexual and blood lust (independent of gay satanic porn sites);
• Crystal meth and crack cocaine binges - with images to match;
• Neo-Nazi skinheads or "Aryan" gay white supremacists - not self-identifying as "faggots";
• Glorification of the ideal white male muscled physique;
• Weaponry - pistols, assault rifles, knives, ropes, chainsaws;
• "Stealth Pozzing" i.e. being HIV+ and:

(i) engaging in bareback sex by lying about, or without disclosing, HIV status in order to infect one or more people;  OR

(ii) deliberately damaging condoms beforehand, knowing they would be useless and break during sex, coupled with lying about, or not disclosing, HIV status;

(c)  Stated Intentions Of Violent Gay Porn Sites:

• Racism and anti-immigrant stance;
• Glorification of violence;
• Extreme violence as a source of gratuitous and sexual pleasure;
• Removal of unwanted groups as "vermin", "filth" and "inferiors"; 
• Exploitation as a source of pleasure;
• Human blood sports;
• Repudiation of religious dogma;
• Spreading disease as an act of creative destruction;

4.   Faggotry Has A Little Problem.....

1.   It can be said that str8 people are probably engaging in their share of viewing violent and hate-filled porn.  Heterosexuals aren't as innocent as they look.

2.  That might be true.

3.  But str8 people don't have the habit of screeching "stereotyping", "outrage", "violation", "discrimination", "victimization" and "hate crime".

4.  Faggtory does.

5.  And yet, easily accessible on the Web (without going to the Dark Web) is some of the most extreme, violent and hate-ridden gay porn that completely torpedoes any and all tenets of Faggtory's Gospel namely, Political Correctness, respect for minorities, tolerance and diversity.

6.  In fact those gay sites have taken Faggotry's vocabulary of "stereotyping", "outrage", "violation", "discrimination", "victimization" and "hate crime" to new depths of depravity.  And there's nothing that Faggotry and its enablers can do about it.

7.  In The Huge Rise Of Gay Scat Porn 1, we said this:

Best as we can tell, there are 3 main topics that make gay men nervous:

• Gay Scat Porn;
• Gay Subliminal Porn;
• Gay Devil Worship and Satanic Porn;

Whether it's denial, fear, loathing or ignorance, these subjects exist in real time and in cyber. In fact, they are proliferating in cyber.  They represent the very extreme limits of "the gay lifestyle". We suspect that the numbers of men involved in one or more of them is much higher than anybody would guess.

Constructing an intelligent narrative that confronts the denial, fear, loathing and ignorance that surrounds these subjects is not for the faint-hearted or the easily terrified. The proclivities not only reside deep in the psyches of the individuals who engage in such practices, but reflect what's happening in the very deepest sub-basement of the gay sub-culture......"

The same comments apply when analyzing violence and hatred in gay porn.

COMING UP IN PART 4:

5.   The Politics Of Rage (Or, We Told You So)
6.   Now It All Makes Sense

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
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Violence And Hatred In Gay Porn 2

 FuelMix does not have any political or religious affiliation

2.  Countries Going In The Right Or Wrong Direction

1.  In November 2016, Ipsos Public Affairs asked this question to over 18,000 people in 25 countries.  The context was societal polarization on so many issues:

Generally speaking, would you say things in this country are heading in the right direction, or are they off on the wrong track?

Chart source: http://www.visualcapitalist.com/countries-going-right-direction/

2.  Ipsos then went a step further and asked respondents to select their Top 3 Worries from a list of 17 options.  The second chart is below.  

3.  Note the responses given by so-called First World Countries  in the above chart. In Canada, Australia, Japan, United Kingdom, United States, Germany, Belgium, Spain, Sweden, Italy, South Korea and France, the majority of the respondents said their countries were headed in the wrong direction. 

(b)  Note the responses given by 2 of the so-called Second World Countries (the Eastern European countries that were communist-socialist industrial countries in the sphere of influence of the former Soviet Union).  In Poland and Hungary, the majority of the respondents said their countries were headed in the wrong direction.

(c)   And then note where the chart gets interesting:  At the very top of the chart. In China, India and Russia, the majority of the respondents said their countries were headed in the right direction.

(d)  Well, that's awkward.....what happened to the much vaunted happy "highly developed"  First World countries.....their quality of life, their freedoms, their democracies, their relatively low crime rates, their health care..?

4.  Turns out, rather a lot. Take a look at the second chart which is about 17 global worries.  The 2 biggest global worries are economic namely "Unemployment" and "Poverty And Social Inequality".

.

Charts source: http://www.visualcapitalist.com/countries-going-right-direction/

5.  As Visual Capitalist correctly points out (underlining and bold print by FuelMix):

Issues such as “Terrorism”, “Rise of Extremism” or “Immigration Control” are surprisingly in the middle of the pack, though it is worth keeping in mind that the above data is at a global level. These issues would likely rank higher in Western countries than in places like China, Russia, or India.

6.  It is the second chart that provides the answers to why violence and hatred is appearing in gay porn - of all places.

COMING UP IN PART 3:
3.  Violence And Hatred In Gay Porn:  Convergence
4.  Faggotry Has A Little Problem...

Originally published 25 February 2017
Republished 14 January 2018


Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
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Violence And Hatred In Gay Porn 1

FuelMix does not have any political or religious affiliation

1.  What Are These Images Doing On Gay Porn Sites..?
2.  Countries Going In The Right Or Wrong Direction
3.  Violence And Hatred In Gay Porn:  Convergence
4.  Faggotry Has A Little Problem... 
5.  The Politics Of Rage (Or, We Told You So) 
6.   Now It All Makes Sense


1.  What Are These Images Doing On Gay Porn Sites..?

1.  Here are some of the more "tame" images easily accessible on  several Tumblr gay porn sites - simply by clicking on links. These sites are apparently curated by individuals who appear to be US citizens.  We're not going to speculate on their actual sexual orientation (since these gay sites also include images of graphic violence against gay men) and we are not picking on any one country.  We would not be surprised if similar images existed on European or other foreign language sites.

2.  Lamestream Faggot media which works overtime to ensure that the Saccharin-coated, Splenda-flavoured image of "the community" is sweetened at all costs, won't touch topics like violence and hatred in gay porn.  It would force them to confront some uncomfortable truths which they would much rather avoid.

3.  As we said in Principles of Faggotry 59:

1.   Many fags brag that they are well traveled.

2.  It's usually true.

3.   They flee from one State of Denial to another.

COMING UP IN PART 2:
2.  Countries Going In The Right Or Wrong Direction

Originally published 25 February 2017
Republished 14 January 2018


Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
ON A MOBILE DEVICE, VIEW THE WEB VERSION OF THE BLOG 

Personal Service: The Fitting Room

COMPLETED 13 JANUARY 2018

Dropping into the clothes shop on a weekday evening about 8pm to check out the merchandise, FuelMix pulled out a pair of trousers from the rack and headed towards the Fitting Room.  The shop was large, well known and usually busy. But on this weekday evening, there were just 2 customers in the extensive premises and no queue for the Fitting Rooms.

"Purrrfect..." thought FuelMix as he headed there to try on the pants.

Manning the counter at the entrance to the Fitting Rooms was a very tall (about 6' 4"), very skinny local Chinese Twink. 

"Hi..!" said FuelMix, "can I try these on..?"

"Hello..!!" said the Chinese Twink, "yes of course, all the rooms are empty...so choose anyone you like.."  He scanned FuelMix and smiled, "why don't you use the room at the end..?  I'll show you.."  He escorted FuelMix to the last Fitting Room on the left and opened the door.  "If you need any help, just let me know.."  He smiled again, made intense eye contact and left.  His English was perfect.  Almost too perfect.

"HHmm", thought FuelMix as he shrugged off his clothes, "why is my Mischief Radar bleeping..? Deserted shop, deserted Fitting Rooms, Fitting Room at the end, skinny twink on duty, eye contact, perfect English.....There's only one way to find out..." 

Slipping on the skinny fit dress pants and attempting to adjust their un-hemmed length himself, (waist size was perfect, they fitted beautifully on his ass and legs, but would have to be taken up) FuelMix realized he needed a second opinion and help to fine tune the fit.  He opened the Fitting Room door - to find the Twink standing there.....

Twink [smiling]:  I'm here to help if you like...how does it fit...?

FM: Err....well, you tell me...

Twink [kneels down in the doorway]:  Let me see...[begins to adjust the length]...this will have to be taken up, not a problem....there..!  Something like this....have a look...[FM turns to the mirror in the Fitting Room]....the fit on the thighs is really nice....[strokes FM's thighs].....let's check the fit on your butt....[ Twink, still kneeling, runs hands gently but deliberately on FM's ass and crack a few times]....I like the fit on your ass....it brings out the shape nicely.....do you want me to check the waist....? [stands up and gently pulls out FM's shirt from the pants, slides his soft hands into FM's ass crack and slowly moves his hands to the front above FM's underwear.  Then does it slowly from the other side]  I think the waist is just fine......why don't you come out into the corridor and walk and see how the pant feels...?

FM: OK...[walks around in Fitting Room area, checking himself in the other mirrors]  I like the way this pant feels.  It's pretty comfortable for skinny fit.

Twink:  Yes...skinny fit dress pants, suit you.  When some guys wear it, like me, they look too skinny and they don't have a nice butt....but [grins] you don't have to worry about that .....why don't you come back into the room and sit down...?  Then we can tell from another angle if it's too tight.

FM [walks back into the Fitting Room at the end, sits down on the stool and spreads his legs]  It seems OK....doesn't feel or look too tight when I sit

Twink [comes in, kneels down in front of FM, strokes his thighs slowly with each hand and smiles at FM]:  I think the fit is really nice when you sit down....is it too tight near your cock..?

FM: I'm not sure.....

Twink [still kneeling between FM's thighs]: Let me check [gently slides one hand over FM's cock and balls about 3 times, his other hand resting on FM's inner thigh.  FM's cock begins to stir...]  I think it looks fine...[slides his hand inside the waist band again]...and the waist isn't too tight when you sit either....it looks good on you

FM [grins]: OK good, I'll take it and get it altered so the length is just right.  I have another pair of shoes that I wanna wear with this pant

Twink [smiling and still kneeling between FM's thighs, his hands still on FM's thighs. FM's semi-boner visible] I would love to show you some other pants and shirts and help you with the fit.....that is....if you have time... 

FM:  I'd like to see some more stuff.  Why don't you bring me your ideas..? I'd really appreciate your help..!

Twink [beams] Sure... !! I'll get a couple of pants and shirts

[A few moments later, Twink returned with 2 more skinny fit dress pants in a different style, 1 shirt and a T-shirt.  FM was still wearing the first skinny fit pant and his lace-up shoes]

Twink: Here, try these......oh wait... I'd better help you get out of those first skinny fit pants....may I come in...? Why don't you sit down and I'll untie your shoes and help you out of those pants....for skinny fit pants it's often easier if someone helps you take them off.... [Twink enters Fitting Room and locks door.  Kneels down in front of FM, unbuttons the skinny fit pants and unlaces FM's shoes, gently pushes FM to sit on the stool, pulls off FM's shoes and kisses each one, before placing them neatly next to each other.....removes FM's socks and places them in each shoe....massages and kisses FM's feet... 

FM: ???!!!.....

Twink [inhales deeply and smiles]: Now let's get the pants off ......[slides the skinny fit dress pants off as FM remains seated, folds them neatly]  Oh look!!....I've messed up the hair on your legs [giggles] .....maybe those pants were too tight...[slides back in between FM's thighs, begins to smooth his hairy legs and thighs, while gently and quietly kissing them...]  MMmmm....you have have a nice scent....those white Calvins look good on you...[kisses FM cock through his underwear and smiles]

FM [getting horny,]

Twink [whispers while FM is still seated on the stool]: I'll wait outside while you change and then come in when you're ready...

[FM tried the 2 other pants and decided he didn't like them. He opened the door twice to show the Twink who agreed that the first pant was the best]

Twink [to FM who's now standing in his underwear and shirt]:  OK, I'll put the other 2 pants back on the rack and come straight back. Try on the 2 tops......

[FM starts unbuttoning his shirt and tries on the first shirt.  As he's buttoning up, Twink returns, knocks softly on the Fitting Room door.  FM unlocks it and opens the door.  Twink enters and locks the door]

Twink [softly]:  Let me help you button it up....what do you think of the shirt...?

FM:  Nah, not really my style on this one.....

Twink [softly]: I agree....I'll unbutton it and we'll try the T-shirt [unbuttons the shirt, takes it off FM who's now standing in just his underwear and semi-boner]....Here's the T-shirt [FM pulls it on]....what do you think...?

FM:  Not thrilled with the colour, not thrilled with the fit... [pulls it off.  Still standing in just underwear]

Twink [smiles says softly]: Yes....but you're tight, fit and muscular....[reaches out and strokes FM's shoulders and chest.  Bends down and starts to kiss FM's chest and nipples.  His other hand is caressing FM's back.  Twink licks FM's armpits, inhales deeply and smiles]....you have a nice body scent....it's a wicked scent....[kisses FM on the lips] and you're cute with a sexy voice.....

FM [grinning]:  You really look after your customers don't you...?

Twink [softly]: Sometimes I get the urge.... it depends on the feeling I get from a  man.....why don't you get dressed...? Maybe we could swap numbers and catch up for lunch and just chat...?  Do you like dim sum...?

FM:  I'm a pig when it comes to dim sum

Twink [softly]: I'll wait for you outside and give the first pant to the cashier [unlocks Fitting Room door and leaves.  FM gets dressed, steps out of the Fitting Room]

Twink: Would you like to swap numbers...?

**A few days later, FM and the Twink met up for dim sum downtown, chatted and walked around the shops.  Just good clean fun and a shop contact who now WhatApps FM when new stock comes in and makes suggestions (some cleaner than others...)**

Moral Of The Story:

1.  Fag, you're wasting your time surfing Grindr etc with a fucked-up attitude, fake stats and a high failure  rate.  They might be 300 meters away from you on the screen, but they won't even acknowledge your existence and you know it.

2.  Nothing beats a real-time, real-world, spontaneous cruising encounter where your existence is graciously and sensually honoured with impeccable manners.  That Twink made a lasting impression on FuelMix, not just for his helpfulness and the sexual foreplay in the Fitting Room (we haven't had full-on sex yet and probably won't) but for the risk he took in sexually putting himself on the line, then inviting FuelMix for lunch,  actually showing up, exhibiting perfect manners, suggesting spending more time afterwards window shopping with coffee and snacks; and thereby becoming a contact buddy with an underlying sexual charge.

3.  Nothing beats Old School cruising.

4.  And you know in your heart, FuelMix is damn right.

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
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To The Left..! To The Left..! *CRASH..!*

FuelMix has no religious or political affiliation

Every left-leaning fag's pin-up girl.....

1.  She's been quiet for a while now.  One can speculate why, starting with the assertions on other sites, that she has been secretly arrested on a litany of crimes and is wearing a tracking bracelet on her ankle, masquerading as a leg brace for a broken toe. Or, one can simply say that while she allegedly won the public vote, she was screwed in the the Electoral College.  The rampant allegations of vote tampering done on her behalf, imply she lost an election that she rigged.

2.  Tied as she was to the Deep State (also known as The Cabal, The Powers That Be Were, The World Management Team) with their fantasy of perpetual war, individual and world domination, she entered the election campaign as the most financially stuffed candidate in history.  Swanning around as the Heir Presumptive, she talked soothingly about minorities, women and children - in between bouts of epileptic fits which she claimed were coughing spasms. (see image above).

3.  For the Hollywood trash, Silicon Valley billionaires, Wall Street oligarchs, left-leaning liberal-fascist fags and Snowflake Millennials who collectively touted her as "the most qualified candidate to lead", her loss resulted in an avalanche of shock, grief, petulance, venom and hatred that would put a daytime soap opera to shame.

4.  We'll leave it others to chronicle her election campaign's ear-shattering levels of propaganda, delusion, deception with the active collusion of online, print and television media.  That such collusion might be illegal and unethical, was mere technicality.  Her defeat not only made her camp look desperate and farcical, but discredited large chunks of American media, social media, Google and YouTube, all of which were shown to have been actively censoring views critical of "the chosen one".  The civilized world looked on, smirked and resolved to get its news (and search engine results) from elsewhere. 

5.  And the public didn't buy her risible attempt at exhaustively cataloguing who was to blame in her published tome, "What Happened".  Bitch, you lost.  That's what happened.

6.  We have nothing but contempt for the Hollywood trash and the left-leaning fags who touted this woman as an example to society and other women.  Years before #me too there was direct and circumstantial evidence that she had facilitated and ignored her philandering husband's sexual exploitation of women - only to intimidate and threaten those women into silence. If Harvey Weinstein was skewered, why was she given a free pass..?

7.  The answer was simple, yet repugnant:  she was a Vanity Project for the Hollywood trash and the left-leaning fags.  Having credited themselves with inserting the first bi-racial President, they now wanted the first woman President.  That this particular candidate was actually the most unsuitable, was completely glossed over. Not surprising.  Hollywood excels in drama and fantasy.  Left-leaning fags excel in delusion and escapism.  Add the umbrella of Political Correctness plus accusations of misogyny and anyone who dared question a patently absurd choice for President, was censored, marginalized or vilified.

8.   It's our view that she knew there would be investigations into her.  It was only a matter of time. The pre- and post- campaign scapegoating and deflections just weren't working.  People had woken up.....her campaign unraveled for one simple reason.  As we've said before, these are the times of the Apocalypse, the true meaning of which, is that which was hidden, is now revealed. With the crash of her Presidential ambitions, multiple investigations are now underway.  And what's being revealed about her, her family, the Family's foundation and their associates, is fascinating in its complexity.

9.  It's also our view that her bid to crawl into the Oval Office was never about public service or being a role model for women.  It was about finding the ultimate place of sanctuary and immunity. From there, multiple investigations involving her could be met with delays, diversions, dithering, denials, deflections, deceit and distractions - all whilst pretending to run the country in the style to which she was accustomed: criminal, corrupt, conflicted and egregious. It would have been the ultimate (and hugely profitable) Banana Republic ploy.

10.  That she bet the farm on what was effectively an act of political asylum - and crashed - is testament not to her ambition, but to her desperation.

11.  Don't cry fags.  Meryl Streep just endorsed Oprah for President.  Hollywood once again covering its ass and its bases.  This time it's a woman - and a black one.  Gotta keep that "diversity" meme going.

Copyright © 2006 – 2018 FuelMix All Rights Reserved
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But...Is He Gay..?

 Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

I remember having no problem the first time I asked a guy out. But it was a simple matter because I knew he was gay. But what it I didn't? You want to ask a guy out but you do not know if he is gay. How should you do it?

The answer is very simple: Ask him out without asking him out. Confused? Don't be. I'll explain. I'm a fan of developing relationships as friends first (eventually evolving into romantic friendships, then exclusive dating, then more, etc). 

You should take this route—especially since his sexuality is up in the air.

Invite him out to do buddy things—a movie; a game of pool; happy hour; a game of Wii—basically, things friends do. Get to know him as a person and open the door for him to get to know you. How do you approach him? Find something (I'm sorry, anything) that you have in common—the color blue, his sneakers, that gap between his teeth—and strike up a conversation. Then hit him with the invite to do friendly activities. The idea isn't to seduce him, but to become friends, as you would with any other friend. 

You'll build a mutual trust as your friendship grows. Soon afterward you can brush the topic of sexuality. Keep it vague at first by just mentioning gay things, like the latest gay marriage news or gays in the military or your "gay friend" from high school. Then judge his reactions. Once you're comfortable, come out to him.

If he's gay or bi, then he'll response with a disclosure of his own - if he is ready to come out and willing to share it with you. If he's not, and worth anything as a human being, he'll stick by your side and at least be your buddy. Worst case scenario, he is not, and you're better off without him.

Manage your expectations, though. You like him, so consciously or not, you've built a fantasy in your head about you two being together. Sexuality, friendships and relationships are not quite that transparent. Keep an open mind for an infinite amount of scenarios: He may be gay and not ready to come out; he may be gay and is just not into you; he may be straight and a homophobe; he may be straight and gay friendly; or he may be gay and into you. Don't focus on your wants right now; focus on what is.

It's more difficult for us gays sometimes, because we have to assess sexuality and then spit our game to get a date. Most of the guys use this strategy in the gay scene, also because, mostly they are looking for sex, although they don't admit it. Resist the gay need to get the man now and take your time building a friendship. Soon enough all of the mysteries surrounding your hottie will be revealed. 

-----"Is He Gay Or Not?Asking a Guy Out", LiveAbout, 13 December 2017

Sign A Contract Before Sex..?

Underlining, highlighting and bold print by FuelMix:

In the West, at least, everyone has become massively aware of the extent of coercion and exploitation in sexual relations.

However, we should bear in mind also the (no less significant) fact that millions of people on a daily basis flirt and play the game of seduction, with the clear aim of finding a partner for making love. The result of the modern Western culture is that both sexes are expected to play an active role in this game.

When women dress provocatively to attract the male gaze or when they “objectify” themselves to seduce them, they don’t do it offering themselves as passive objects: instead they are the active agents of their own “objectification,” manipulating men, playing ambiguous games, including reserving the full right to step out of the game at any moment even if, to the male gaze, this appears in contradiction with previous “signals.”

This freedom women enjoy bothers all kinds of fundamentalists, from Muslims who recently prohibited women touching and playing with bananas and other fruit which resembles the penis to our own ordinary male chauvinist who explodes in violence against a woman who first “provokes” him and then rejects his advances.

Female sexual liberation is not just a puritan withdrawal from being “objectivized” (as a sexual object for men) but the right to actively play with self-objectivization, offering herself and withdrawing at will. But will it be still possible to proclaim these simple facts, or will the politically-correct pressure compel us to accompany all these games with some formal-legal proclamation (of consensuality, etc.)? 

New Thinking

A recent, politically-correct idea is the so-called “Consent Conscious Kit,” currently on sale in the US: a small bag with a condom, a pen, some breath mints, and a simple contract stating that both participants freely consent to a shared sexual act. The suggestion is that a couple ready to have sex either takes a photo holding in their hands the contract, or that they both date and sign it.

Yet, although the “Consent Conscious Kit” addresses a very real problem, it does it in a way which is not only silly but directly counter-productive – and why is that?

The underlying idea is how a sex act, if it to be cleansed of any suspicion of coercion, has to be declared, in advance, as a freely-made conscious decision of both participants – to put it in Lacanian terms, it has to be registered by the big Other, and inscribed into the symbolic order.

As such, the “Consent Conscious Kit” is just an extreme expression of an attitude that grows all around the US – for example, the state of California passed a law requiring all colleges that accept state funding to adopt policies requiring their students to obtain affirmative consent — which it defines as “affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity” that is “ongoing” and not given when too drunk, before engaging in sexual activity, or else risk punishment for sexual assault.

Bigger Picture  

Affirmative, conscious, and voluntary agreement” – by whom? The first thing to do here is to mobilize the Freudian triad of Ego, Superego, and Id (in a simplified version: my conscious self-awareness, the agency of moral responsibility enforcing norms on me, and my deepest half-disavowed passions).

What if there is a conflict between the three? If, under the pressure of the Superego, my Ego say NO, but my Id resists and clings to the denied desire? Or (a much more interesting case) the opposite: I say YES to the sexual invitation, surrendering to my Id passion, but in the midst of performing the act, my Superego triggers an unbearable guilt feeling?

Thus, to bring things to the absurd, should the contract be signed by the Ego, Superego, and Id of each party, so that it is valid only if all three say YES? Plus, what if the male partner also uses his contractual right to step back and cancel the agreement at any moment in the sexual activity? Imagine that, after obtaining the woman’s consent, when the prospective lovers find themselves naked in bed, some tiny bodily detail (an unpleasant sound like a vulgar belching) dispels the erotic charm and makes the man withdraw? Is this not in itself an extreme humiliation for the woman?

The ideology that sustains this promotion of “sexual respect” deserves a closer look. The basic formula is: “Yes means yes!” – it has to be an explicit yes, not just the absence of a no. “No no” does not automatically amount to a “yes”: because if a woman who is being seduced does not actively resist it, this still leaves the space open for different forms of coercion.

Mood Killer

Here, however, problems multiply: what if a woman passionately desires it but is too embarrassed to openly declare it? What if, for both partners, ironically playing coercion is part of the erotic game? And a yes to what, precisely, to what types of sexual activity, is a declared yes? Should then the contract form be more detailed, so that the principal consent is specified: a yes to vaginal but not anal intercourse, a yes to fellatio but not swallowing the sperm, a yes to light spanking but not harsh blows, etc.etc.

One can easily imagine a long bureaucratic negotiation, which can kill all desire for the act, but it can also get libidinally invested on its own. These problems are far from secondary, they concern the very core of erotic interplay from which one cannot withdraw into a neutral position and declare one's readiness (or unreadiness) to do it: every such act is part of the interplay and either de-eroticizes the situation or gets eroticized on its own.

The “yes means yes’ sexual rule is an exemplary case of the narcissistic notion of subjectivity that predominates today. A subject is experienced as something vulnerable, something that has to be protected by a complex set of rules, warned in advance about all possible intrusions that may disturb him/her.

Remember how, upon its release, ET was prohibited in Sweden, Norway, and Denmark: because it’s non-sympathetic portrayal of adults was considered dangerous for relations between children and their parents. (An ingenious detail confirms this accusation: in the first 10 minutes of the film, all adults are seen only below their belts, like the adults in cartoons who threaten Tom and Jerry…)

From today’s perspective, we can see this prohibition as an early sign of the politically-correct obsession with protecting individuals from any experience that may hurt them in any way. And the list can go on indefinitely – recall the proposal to digitally delete smoking from Hollywood classics…

Yes, sex is traversed by power games, violent obscenities, etc., but the difficult thing to admit is that it’s inherent to it. Some perspicuous observers have already noticed how the only form of sexual relation that fully meets the politically correct criteria would have been a contract drawn between sadomasochist partners.

Thus, the rise of Political Correctness and the rise of violence are two sides of the same coin: insofar as the basic premise of Political Correctness is the reduction of sexuality to contractual mutual consent. And the French linguist Jean-Claude Milner was right to point out how the anti-harassment movement unavoidably reaches its climax in contracts which stipulate extreme forms of sadomasochist sex (treating a person like a dog on a collar, slave trading, torture, up to consented killing).

In such forms of consensual slavery, the market freedom of the contract negates itself: and slave trade becomes the ultimate assertion of freedom. It is as if Jacques Lacan’s motif “Kant with Sade” (Marquis de Sade’s brutal hedonism as the truth of Kant’s rigorous ethics) becomes reality in an unexpected way. But, before we dismiss this motif as just a provocative paradox, we should reflect upon how this paradox is at work in our social reality itself.

-----"Sign a contract before sex? Political correctness could destroy passion", Slavoj Zizek, 25 December 2017, rt.com

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