Birds (Gay Playspace) 2

Unit A2, 3rd Floor, Burlington House
(Street entrance marked "Burlington Arcade")
90 - 94C Nathan Road
Tsim Sha Tsui
Kowloon
Hong Kong
MTR:  Tsim Sha Tsui Station, Exit B1

Tel:  As at 29 February 2016,  no phone number
Web: http://ads.00069.com/Birds/
Opening Hours: Mon - Sun 13:00 to 24:00
Advertised Cost: HK$90.00.  After 8pm: HK$60.00

NOTE:  

1.  NOT A GAY SAUNA.  NO STEAM ROOM, NO DRY SAUNA.
2.  GAY PLAYSPACE : SHOWERS, PRIVATE CABINS. 

 Getting There

1.   Very easy to find whether taking Exit B1 at Tsim Sha Tsui Station, or just walking North on the right hand side of Nathan Road. It's within walking distance of all the hotels in Tsim Sha Tsui, Harbour City and Tsim Sha Tsui East.

2.   The Building is actually marked at street level as Burlington Arcade, since there are shops on the Ground Floor of the lift lobby - including the world famous Sam's Tailors.

3.  It is spitting distance from the very gay Tsim Sha Tsui branch of California Fitness, located in The One, which is at the corner of Nathan Road and Granville Road.

4.  Take the lifts in Block A.  Look at the mailboxes on the wall.  There is a plaque for Birds on the mailbox marked "A2, 3rd Floor".

5.  Get to the 3rd Floor, turn right and ring the doorbell.  Staff speak good English.  Pay coin and get a padlock and key, which, despite the key numbering, is good for any locker.  The staff will tell you that.


Revelation: Ni Chome Sauna is back (sort of...)

1.  Listen up fags, the now defunct Ni Chome Sauna that operated nearby on Haiphong Road, is back - with some modifications - as Birds.

2.  It's the same people now running Birds. If, like FuelMix, you're unforgettable, they'll be delighted to see you and tell you that they recognize you.


The Decor, Layout and Ambience

1.  Remember that all-brown Ni Chome interior....??  The one that looked like naugahide in a second hand Winnebago that you might drive across Kansas looking for Dorothy...?? Yeah....well that's back in abundance in Birds.  That was our first clue that Ni Chome had done a Lazarus.

2.  Layout-wise it's easy.  Adjacent to the Reception are the lockers with 48 uniformly sized dark green lockers (identical to those in Action Sauna, Causeway Bay) arranged in 3 banks.  Did we say DARK.....?? The lighting is hideous and flatly unacceptable.  It is almost impossible to see into the locker and the customer will have to grope for his stuff when he arrives and departs.  There is only one light above the vanity counter and mirror.

3. The ambience is minimalist.  There's no artwork or frou-frou anywhere. Fine.  But that brown colour is just overpowering (yet weirdly bland at the same time).  The choice of music wasn't too bad. The sound system had some ooomph to it and didn't sound loud and tinny (like in ABC).


The Wet Area

1.  Opposite the Lockers is the dark, stone floored Wet Area.  This was a major disappointment.  There are 2 brightly lit toilet stalls, 3 wall-mounted shower heads, but no lighting in the showers.  Let's be more precise:  there is a fluorescent strip over the showers which the management has chosen not to switch on.  OK....but why fluorescent strip in the first place which, if switched on, would give industrial strength lighting which would be just as bad..??  Couldn't they have installed spotlights instead or used some imagination instead of keeping the showers so dark..??

2.  The water pressure in the showers is even, but not strong enough.  It can get hot and scalding very quickly, so be warned.  The non-existent / non-used lighting means one can barely read the wall mounted dispenser for shampoo or shower gel. Since the showers are so dark, you cannot properly check out the guy showering next to you.

3.  Remember, no steam room and no dry sauna.


The Porn Lounge

1.   Located in the Left Hand corner and behind the Lockers is the dinky porn lounge - with 4 chairs in a line, inches away from a TV screen showing either Jap gay porn or western gay porn.  It's functional but that's about all it is - unless at some point somebody gets a group thing going.  Since the screen is large and so close, your eyes will be fucked in no time.


The Private Rooms

1.  In the Right Hand corner of the Lockers is the entrance to the private rooms. This is just an L-shaped corridor.  There is no Dark Area or Maze to speak of (although it becomes dark once the lights of the private rooms are switched off...)

2.  There are 7 private rooms off this corridor.  They all have lockable doors, good adjustable lighting plus condoms and lube.  A personal gripe here....the lube is in packets that have to be ripped open.  FUELMIX ABSOLUTELY HATES THAT BECAUSE THOSE FUCKIN' PACKETS NEVER OPEN PROPERLY AND HE SPENDS AGES STRUGGLING WITH THEM (SOMETIMES HAVING TO GIVE IT TO HIS FUCK-BUDDY TO FIGHT WITH)......SHIT....A BRAND NEW SPACE AND THEY COULDN'T INSTALL A LUBE DISPENSER IN EACH ROOM.....??!!

3.  5 of the private rooms have floor level mattresses and a mirror on one wall.  2 of the private rooms at either end of the corridor are bigger, have large raised bed mattresses, are big enough for groups and have mirrors on 3 walls.  Quality of the rooms is acceptable and identical to the former Ni Chome.

4.  The layout of this corridor means nobody can cruise.  It's a place where people stand around and cluster, or Stand And Model, or become voyeurs because there's nowhere else to go.  Unlike say, Alexander, ABC, Action, Big Top, Galaxy, Hutong, Jungle or My Way, there's no capability for circulation and that corridor terminates in a dead end with a small dark alcove.

5.  FuelMix was surprised and disappointed with the design of this.


The Clientele

1.  There were 10 people there when FuelMix showed up just after 8pm.  Shortly afterwards, another 5 guys arrived.  Nobody stayed long.  They were all GAMs of differing ages ranging from twink to grey.

2.   Body types ranged from skinny twink to sort of gym fit.  There were 2 GAM chubs there.

3.  Did FuelMix get action..?  No, but he got compliments, and the occasional stroke as he passed by.  FuelMix was not looking for action and was just resting and exhibiting himself in one of the larger rooms (outside which there was no shortage of immovable voyeurs - remember, we just told you that corridor is not built to encourage circulation) before leaving at 9:30pm.


Pros

• Easy to find location. Discreet enough.
• Clean - well, right now it's brand new
• Uncluttered
• Rooms have mirrors and decent adjustable lighting
• Walking distance from all hotels in Tsim Sha Tsui, Harbour City, Tsim Sha Tsui East
• Next to the really gay Tsim Sha Tsui branch of California Fitness.  Theoretically, could attract a gym boy clientele like Ni Chome did 
• 8pm onwards - becomes one of the cheaper gigs in Fagland at HK$60.00

Cons

• Poor lighting in the Locker Room
• No Steam Room
• No Dry Sauna
• Useless lighting in the showers
• No TV lounge area to kick back - just a dinky porn lounge. Only other seats are in dimly lit locker area
• No free snacks, ice cream, noodles or drinks (just a water cooler)
• No porn mags or other mags to flip through
• No internet screens
• Not open 24 hours (There are 3 saunas in the heart of Tsim Sha Tsui - ABC, Birds and Galaxy - and none are open 24 hours.  Very disappointing.
• No maze or dark area
• Although uncluttered, and not crowded when we were there, it felt strangely claustrophobic

The Verdict

1.  It opened on 27 February 2016 and we dropped in to have a look.  The policy of this blog is to visit a sauna twice before passing judgment.  We'll say nothing other than mentioning that we left a bit disappointed. There were similar comments from the customers. Right now, we're open minded.  Perhaps they might get a good looking clientele and take off, who knows.....in any event we wish them well.

2.  The reality was that since nobody was actually cruising, only one room got used.

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