Dragging It Out

An urban myth of Faggotry is that when a fag comes Out, it's a sort of one-time event, with the occasional sequel. There may be some tears and anguish but...... (gay or at least androgynous) angels will sing, trumpets will sound, gods in heaven will smile......everyone will be (or is supposed to be) supportive.

Wrong.

It's a continuing, never-ending, constantly refining, constantly redefining and a fuckin'-pain-in-the-ass process. And it ain't tinged with no Seasonal, "....behold I bring you tidings of great joy....." shit.

Best as FuelMix can tell, an independently thinking gay man, inclined towards a degree of self-realization, would contemplate the pros and cons of Coming Out on 6 different levels: 

1.  Coming Out To Yourself -

• nerve wracking; 
• angst-ridden; 
• sleepless nights; 
• guilt; 
• shame; 
• pain; 
• anger; 
• rage; 
• resolution; 
• acceptance; 
• relief; 
• resolve

2.  Coming Out To Family - all of the above PLUS

• threat of, or actual rejection or alienation (total or partial); 
• increased pressure and risk where wife and kids are involved; 
• threat of, or actual Outing forcing premature disclosure; 
• threat of, or actual violence forcing third party intervention;

3.  Coming Out To Friends - all of the above PLUS

• risk of change in the dynamics of social bonding; 
• str8 married men more guarded or uncomfortable in potentially sexual scenarios; 
• friends' kids told to stay away; 
• raging rumours; 
• unspoken rejection or just fading away from your circle;

4.  Coming Out To Colleagues  - all of the above PLUS

• risk of career sabotage (self-inflicted or executed via office politics); 
• latent paranoia; 
• emergency corporate adaptation of Politically Correct behaviour to accommodate "minorities"; 
• increased risk of intra-office resentment; 
• searching for office allies; 
• re-establishing credibility, authority and competency;

5.  Coming Out For Strategic or Political Reasons - all of the above PLUS 

• the need for Positioning for future advocacy, endorsement or action;
• may or may not be cynically motivated;

6.  Coming Out Of  Faggotry - the same emotions and attributes  as (1) above PLUS

• personal re-invention;
• increasing self-awareness;
• exquisite balance of tolerance AND defiance of Faggotry;
• dropping co-dependency (chemical or human);
• ditching political correctness for mutual honesty;
• articulation of personal values for living as an independently thinking gay man;
• mental, emotional, or physical (or all three) departure from the Faggot Tribe and the sub-standard behavioural franchise of urban faggotry;
• unaffected by the outraged, squealing fags and "activists" resentful of perceptually aware, personal re-invention;
• Out on your terms - if Out at all;
• Completely unconcerned with levels of acceptance or rumours of your alleged sexuality;
• authentic self-Pride;
• smug arrogance from an internal space of Freedom; 

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