Ticket To Ride

With the economy in God’s Own Country in recession for 5 years and counting, the average citizen of that promised land is finding that being jobless, homeless, financially clueless, fucked by the banksters on Fraud Street, steeped in consumer debt, and having his personal liberties reduced, is no fun. Small wonder that there has been an increase in those seeking to renounce their citizenship.

To add to these qualifications, a study called Program For The Assessment of Adult Competencies recently released the results of a global survey.  It wasn't pretty for the citizens of God's Own Country.  A report in the New York Post dated 8 October 2013 entitled, US adults are dumber than the average human sets out the story.

That got FuelMix thinking. If the average hetero was so fukked, how would the ghetto fag in God’s Own Country be faring considering that (notwithstanding a college education), his job skills are usually lower, his drug costs (prescription and street) are higher, his rent is overdue, his roommate bailed on him and took his stereo, plus he’s living in a demographic of drug-fucked chronic underachievers and emotional cripples. 

So FuelMix visited Craigslist, one of whose functions is that of a social barometer for the desperate. Looking at the M2M pages of different cities around the world, a pattern emerged. 

Fags from God’s Own Country were advertising in large overseas cities in Europe, The Middle East and Asia. The ads fit a pattern:

• How much fag loved the local culture in that city;

• How fag would just love to relocate there;

• What fag looked like, sometimes with pic

• Fag was looking for an older, well established man;

• Euphemistic phrases about how fag intended to be totally financed;

• Fag was eager to learn and had a college education;

• No mention of fag’s intention to work;

• Zero mention of fag’s drug use;

• Vague notions of what fag would “contribute” to the arrangement;

• Assurances that fag was not an “escort” but that certain freedoms would be required;

Now, FuelMix has nothing against an individual’s attempt to better their lot in life. What is depressingly pathetic is the fag’s blithe importation of his ghetto standards from one (poorer) jurisdiction to another (richer) one and to think that nobody would notice. 

Listen up. There’s currently no shortage of (predominantly white) broke-ass fags clamouring for a foreigner (white or otherwise) to pull them out of the shit that many, by their own political choices (you get the government you deserve), financial choices (you thought low interest debt was cheap....???!!) apathy and ineptitude, created for themselves and for which they now seek to blame “the economy”, "the government", "the politicians", "the Asians" or whoever.

The corollary is that from the foreigner’s point of view, browsing for a (white) Toy Boy is a Buyer’s Market - and will be for sometime.

That’s right, fags. You think some rich Arab or megabucks chink or cosmopolitan European exec is gonna salivate when he sees ads from you with the bullet-point criteria set out above....?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA …..!!!

You think FuelMix is making this up or being a bit harsh.....? Check out an actual example from Craigslist below where we would suggest the fag has completely mis-read his older, more sophisticated target audience.  FuelMix’s editorial comments are in bold red italics. 

Quote

I hate wasting time trying to meet someone, so very time and emotionally consuming. [the title in the ad stated he was looking for a relationship by the end of the month]

I'd like to meet someone and have a little arrangement. [uh huh……]

young guy, athletic, super sharp, very business minded [just what the hell does that mean? No idea of dude’s education, but put “little arrangement” and “very business minded” together and you get the picture] and hardworking.

Not an escort, and would never sleep with someone for money, [ umm…. OK, but keep reading] but you'd be the type of guy who likes the idea of an escort, [say what…?] because it is hassle free on time and delivered, but doesn't like the idea because of the slutty of it that and they probably have very little to say. [FuelMix is totally clueless as to what this means other than the fact that dude is coming across as pussy delivered like pizza]

I'd like to fast forward and basically jump into a relationship. [Why so desperate dude?] We know when we're going to hang out, go on weekend etc. We respect each other, and each other's privacy. [Oh, so basically you don’t wanna know fuck about the dude who’s gonna pay for you and you’re gonna lie to him most of the time while you hunt around for more donors] We could go out to social events or pick a weekend at a spa in a far away town. [Of course….how else would you avoid the other donors or creditors and still manage to look good, or at least well moisturized, to protect against that hot desert sun?]

Ideally you'd be super busy [in other words, don’t ask, don’t tell] and like to have someone who you knew was going to be there, show up on time, [well that’s a good sign…..dude will be keeping a diary in order to plan his alibis] and plan to have a good time. [courtesy of someone else's wallet]

Sometimes I find myself wanting to go out, simply because i don't want to go home to bed alone.
[ at least not without someone else paying for my entertainment] i want someone to know that i'll be there when they get home, they can come in lie up on me, [what….no sex?] or that ill be home when they get there. or if we say to meet in a certain city, on certain date that ill be there. [courtesy of someone else's wallet for apparently, no sex]

So if you're attracted to younger, sharp, ambitious, clever guys who love to be held. [ what....no sex?] we might be a good match.

I live a very nice lifestyle on my own, have a nice house and cars, so would like to keep it in the same ball game. [if you can afford all that, at your young age, why relocate and seek a donor?]

the cost of the relationship would be yours. the benefit would be ours. [LMAO......sounds like it was taken from the Client Agreement of a Hedge Fund......]

Unquote  

Originally published 15 May 2008.  
Republished 25 October 2011.
Amended and Republished 11 October 2013.

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