The Great Gay Sauna 3

Hollywood Vista
Back 114 - 116 Austin Road
Tsim Sha Tsui
Kowloon
Hong Kong
MTR: Jordan Station, Exit D

Tel: 2620 6844
Web: http://www.hongkonggay.info/archives/7336

Note: Open 24 hours
Currently advertised entry price: HK$140.00

The Layout

The layout of The Great is easy to grasp.  It's basically a 3 sided narrow rectangle. In other words, it's U shaped.  The actual premises are not very large and may be described as "intimate" or "claustrophobic" depending on one's point of view.

Within the U-shaped rectangle, the layout is as follows:

1.  Dinky little Reception Area - a la Alexander style. Not surprising when one considers that the Big Fag Bald GAM with the Booming Voice used to work in Alexander.  Be nice to him.  He's the one with the business card that says Queen Nancy on it..............

2.  Locker Room

3.  An Alcove with 2 massage chairs and a flat screen TV

4.  A Snack Bar with a Mini-Fridge

5.  A TV Lounge

6.  The Wet Area and 2 Toilets

7.  A Not-So-Dark Area, accessible via the TV Lounge or the Wet Area, with 8 private rooms, some with porn screens


The Decor

Yeah well............ how should one put this...........?  Ah......how about Rococco-meets-Noveau Riche-meets-Liberace-meets OMG.....???

From the faux crystal locker knobs reflecting the light from the faux crystal chandeliers, to the reflective grooved brown and silver floor tiles, to the wall-to-wall leopard print tiles and faux suede sofas in the TV Lounge, to the swishy brown curtains, to the customer's absolute inability to identify a rational colour scheme..............

The decor in The Great initially screams..............EFFEMINATE !!!!!!

And THIS is supposed to be a 24 hour MEN'S SAUNA.....!!!!!

 **sigh**

Now, to be fair and accurate, the Wet Area is entirely masculine looking and quite spacious.   The narrow Not-So-Dark Area is in masculine  tones of dark brown and white and that's perfectly fine (subject to the unexplained sloping floor). It's just that the decor of the Locker Area and the TV Lounge is disconcerting. 


The Facilities

1.  The strange look of the Locker Room will hit the fag as soon as he enters. It gives an initially ambiguous impression of doubling as a Dance Floor. Must be that fuckin' chandelier. If there's one thing FuelMix demands are decent sized lockers and str8 up, The Great fails right there.  Most of the lockers are dinky square shaped.  There were only 6 large ones.  If coming in with a bag or a backpack, be aware.  They obviously got their cue from NiChome that pulls a similar stunt. Although Alexander also has a wall of small square lockers, most people are first given the larger ones.

2.  Open the lockers and there's a portable pouch containing 3 large towels and a small face towel.  Nice touch.

3.  The Alcove with the 2 massage chairs is dark and uninspiring.  It brings back memories of Central Escalator and vibrating fat white fags oozing out of them.

4.  The Snack Bar is the usual shit - bananas, crackers, bicsuits, Hot/Cold water dispenser, instant coffee packs to stir your own.  The MiniFridge has Coke, 7UP and iced lemon tea. (Sooner or later fags will be storing their Poppers in there......).

5.  Once the fag has finished giggling over the decor of the TV Lounge, fiddle with the wall mounted touch screen computers.  They're kinda fun.

6.  The Wet Area is large and the undoubted centerpiece of The Great.  It's well lit. There are adjustable showers with excellent water pressure, a jacuzzi with a control panel that needs a pilot's license to operate it but the water pressure is good, a Dry Sauna and a cubicle with 2 private showers..................

7.  But............hold on a second.  A fag has to climb up into the jacuzzi and climb down to get out of it via a spindly little aluminum step ladder that's an obvious afterthought.  Presumably, they couldn't get permission to sink the jacuzzi.  That step ladder is an accident waiting to happen.

8.  And there's another thing...........the Dry Sauna is not a custom built installation that one would find in say, Alexander or Central Escalator.  It looks and feels like something that was bought on the Home Shopping Network via a credit card.  If a fag thought that the Dry Sauna in Central Escalator was tiny, FuelMix has news for him.............the Dry Sauna in The Great can only hold 2 skinny chink twinks or one moderately fat white guy.  That's it. (But it's very brightly lit in case you wanna give a show to those in the jacuzzi).

9. Again, the 2 "private" showers are enclosed in a white capsule with 2 seats, adjustable lighting, adjustable pressure.  Not entirely clear what the deal is there.  Seems geared for the exhibitionist teaser who wants to flick the lights in the capsule on and off while showering and attracting attention from those in the jacuzzi.

10.  FuelMix would be grateful if a fag could explain why the floor in the Not-So-Dark Area slopes in a couple of places. It's annoying. There are 8 private rooms, reasonably sized with sliding wooden doors, some with porn screens and the usual condom / lube accoutrements.  Light switches are easily accessible, give good lighting and the rooms have mirrors.

11.  But the rooms are fitted with the most peculiar vinyl on the mattresses and pillows that FuelMix has yet encountered anywhere  It's a vinyl that feels like satin and is crinkly at the same time. HHHmmmm...........still haven't reached a decison on that one.

Coming up in Part 4:  The Clientele, Pros And Cons, The Verdict

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