A reader sent in a long e-mail commenting on aspects of gay sauna etiquette. FuelMix has split this into a number of posts to make it easier to read. (the comments have also been edited for brevity and clarity).
Gay Sauna For A Psychological Connection
The best way to behave toward other people is to treat them the way that we would like to be treated. This is just as true in a gay sauna, where everyone is there to fulfill specific psychological needs. If it was simply a matter of feeling horny, you could easily just jerk off alone in the privacy of your home.
The reason a man goes to a gay sauna is because he desires to make a genuine connection with another man, and to seek out whatever tangible or intangible qualities that he perceives he's lacking in himself. That connection can take a lot of forms, but it's the one common need we all share when we go to the sauna.
FuelMix says:
You are confusing 2 things: horniness and the need to make a psychological connection. A fag does NOT go to a gay sauna to make a genuine psychological connection with another man. Whilst it is true (and well documented) that many fags experience a form of nirvana in another man’s embrace in a gay sauna, the fact remains that they know comparatively little about the man they’re with at that point in time.
Therein lies the attraction: the erotic paradox of quasi-anonymous sex and that profound – but fleeting – sensation of man2man intimacy.
In the dim lights, the throbbing music, the stench of poppers and the scent of testosterone, a horny fag can, and will, say anything just to keep that “connection” – at least until he runs into the next hot guy in the corridor, or when the bright lights of the shower flush his illusions down the drain.
Think about it. If you were right, then every gay sauna would simply be filled with committed monogamous couples who had made “a connection”.
Instead, the gay sauna is filled with closet queens, terrified bisexuals, attitudinal jocks, Miserably Married Fags, stressed-out office queers, hustlers, drug-fucked fags, horny tourists passing thru town, gym dudes looking to be worshipped or fucked, fags-in-denial, twink fags coming out blah blah blah………..
With all that baggage, the only “connection” they can successfully make is to fit the key into the locker.
Sorry buddy. Totally disagree with you on that one. The “need” for a psychological connection is utterly incompatible with the rampant promiscuity and the emotional baggage that is the fundamental bases of a gay sauna.
Were it otherwise, then every gay sauna would be offering counselling and therapy to a fag before they hit the showers.
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