At The Gym

Scene:  FuelMix is at the gym, and in walks his social gym buddy, a Hunky Muscular Dude, whom FuelMix hadn't seen in a while.

HMD: Yo bro, how u been?

FM: Hey dude, not too bad. U been working shifts again?

HMD:  Yeah, but did some clubbing too late at nite on weekdays. I like picking up women at the club, bring 'em home to fuck.

FM:  Thought u had a GF.

HMD: Yeah she'd kill me if she knew what I was up to.  That's the thrill of working shifts.


FM:  Thought you shared a place with your sister.

HMD:  Yeah I do.  She doesn't know what I'm up to either.  She told me she doesn't want me bringing women back 'coz she owns the apartment, but who gives a fuck about her?


FM:  So......... how's that work?

HMD:  I hit the club about 11pm on a weekday. Order a drink, wait for some attractive woman who's easily fuckable with no-strings, stay in the club till 4am closing then we both head to my place in a taxi ( I don't drive when I drink).  We get home, my sister's still sleeping, open the door real quietly, tiptoe into the apartment and into my room, get into bed, kiss, makeout, fuck a little, fall asleep..............

...........My sister gets up around 6am and heads off to work about 7:45am. We stay real quiet in my room so my sister doesn't suspect a thing.  When she leaves, we fuck our brains out and fall asleep till about 4pm. Then I might drive the woman home or put her in a cab, or take her to the subway station.


FM:  You swap fone numbers?

HMD:  Yeah sometimes.

FM:  How do you stop your GF from getting suspicious with the fone calls?

HMD:  Oh.....easy, I use men's names on my Caller ID for those women. If they call when my GF is around, I just show her the Caller ID and say it's some guy from work or whatever, step away and take the call to make another fuck date.  I keep a secret notebook to match the men's names to the women I've fucked.

FM:  Smooth.

HMD:  Hey.......what kinda condoms do you use?


FM:  Durex or Lifestyles........why?

HMD:  Yeah, I use Durex.  I don't trust the Chinese brands.

FM:  Neither do I.

HMD:  You have a GF?


FM:  No.

HMD:  So what kinda women you like to fuck?


FM:  Um...................................

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Colony Sauna 6

2nd Floor, 177 Prince Edward Road West
Kowloon
Hong Kong
Tel: 3486 1342
MTR: Prince Edward Station, Exit B1

Open 24 hours
Web: http://203.86.167.152/ads/Colony/


View Larger Map

The Clientele

How should FuelMix put this?...................OK.........Straight off, the place does not claim to be ground zero for action.  There are other saunas reviewed in this fabulous blog that have a higher claim to that prize. The vibe in Colony Sauna is neither frentic nor testosterone charged.......it's sort of......... Valium based......

This is more of a gay salon where the gentlemen customers, clad in fluffy towels, delicately eat pastries, sip herb tea, flip thru local and Taiwanese glossy gay porn, smoke on the balcony and engage the staff and each other in low banter.  There aren't any Public Displays of Affection or friendly groping.  If that's the niche market then fine, more power to them.

When a hot muscle dude with sharp features - like FuelMix - enters the joint, the atmosphere crackles, the patrons shift in their seats uneasily, conversation stops, heads turn and there is the silent realization that a paradigm shift has just happened within the apricot painted walls.  A few chinks came up to FuelMix and said they felt intimidated and could only stare.

FuelMix was told that the club kids come in after midnight.  OK..... But the clientele he saw was predominantly office chink. 20 something and up. Slim, flabby, mediocre to below average, the overwhelming impression was this is where the losers come to load up on free calories (the pastries are complimentary) and commiserate on how difficult it is for them to get action in other saunas.  Remember, in the lounge, there is no TV, no Karaoke and no internet access.

The vibe comes across as 24 hour Gay Rehab............or as Joan Rivers would say....."Can We Tawk?"



Would FuelMix Go Back?

Listen, FuelMix reviews each sauna at least twice in the interests of accuracy and fairness. The sauna reviews are not here to bash anybody, but to simply tell it like it is for consumer information.  When FuelMix hits the sauna in full flight, he's on autopilot and locked on for one thing.  Conversation and pastries ain't it.  And neither are sexually unattractive guys.  If this is Colony Sauna's niche market, then FuelMix wishes them every success, but it is unlikely to be a regular stop for him.


Pros

• Open 24 hours
• Easy to get to
• Discreet location
• Great location to flee from the office. It's on the 2nd floor, above a hair salon. Who the hell is gonna look for you in an old walk-up Mongkok building on the corner of a street that sells bras?
• Large Lounge
• Well lit
• Impeccably clean
• Interestingly designed
• Comfy seating in the lounge
• Shielded wrap-around balcony
• Moderately friendly
• Large individual playrooms
  

Cons

• Mosquitoes in the bathroom
• No mirrors in the bathroom
• Not much action
• Not aggressively cruisy
• Ugly clientele
• Music in the Lounge can switch abruptly to jangling Canto-Pop
• Loft areas have very low ceilings
• Lots of standing around looking forlorn - they're too ugly to model.
• Loft Dark Area is dangerous 
• Traffic noise on the balcony is horrendous - once the sound proof doors are opened

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Colony Sauna 5

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Colony Sauna 4

2nd Floor, 177 Prince Edward Road West
Kowloon
Hong Kong
Tel: 3486 1342
MTR: Prince Edward Station, Exit B1

Open 24 hours
Web: http://203.86.167.152/ads/Colony/


View Larger Map

Decor And Layout

The first impression is one of open-plan spaciousness and high ceilings. That's not surprising since the building dates back to the 1940s or 50s when floor areas were more generous. The lounge, the main counter and the lockers flow seamlessly in a colour scheme of apricot walls, dark wood flooring and dark window frame accents.  Exposed pipes are painted. A customer can actually breathe in this large space and it's a contrast to the cramped, crummy or sometimes la-la designed attempts at fag hip seen in other local saunas.

At the time of writing this review, Colony Sauna has been open for 10 weeks. FuelMix went on a Thursday evening around 6:30pm.


The Lockers

The lockers occupy 2 levels of a loft space constructed in one corner of the lounge.  3 things:
(1)  the loft ceilings are really low;
(2) wet feet are not the best way of climbing the non-railed ladder steps to the upper lockers;
(3) the lockers don't have a separate shelf to store shoes. Store them  on the floor under the ladder;

But the towels are spanking new, thick, soft and fluffy.  Towel changes are available at no additional charge (well FuelMix wasn't charged anyway) from the main counter.

There's no real privacy in the locker area - except for a healthy, solitary potted palm. But the locker area is well lit, has a full length mirror, hair dryer, ear cleaning buds, tissues and a comfy white leather sofa bench to sit on while changing.



The Main Counter

As well as being the nerve centre, it's also where you'll find free cakes, pastries and soft drinks, plus a collection of mags and porno mags.  The sole staff member on duty  (who works there part time) spoke perfect English.  He pointed out that the design ethos was to create a "clubby, colonial feel where guys come by to chat, relax, fuck, unwind and socialize".

Hint:  Try the Belgian Chocolate cake.  If like FuelMix, it also ends up on strategic parts of one's muscled body, then being the centre of conversation is.......well, a piece of cake.

Hint No.2: Not a single cup noodle in sight.  Imagine that.



The Lounge

The Lounge is an eclectic, combination of classical quasi-Parisian and post modernist, punctuated by fresh flowers, candles and lamps. Standing back and looking at it, FuelMix agrees that it somehow pulls off a colonial feel.  The sofas are comfy, which is not surprising since the place is open 24 hours and people sleep on them overnight.

The music is the "can't put my finger on it -Enigma sounding type", but the good news was that as the evening wore on, it was replaced by baroque, which the staff then turned off after midnite to allow people to sleep.  Incidentally, blankets and toothbrushes are available free from the main counter.

The conceptual emphasis on "clubby socializing" explains why the Lounge doesn't have any TV screens, karaoke rooms or internet access.  When FuelMix was around, there were about 12 people there.  The vibe was low key, chill, non-attitudinal with a moderate conversational murmur.

The Balcony

At the end of the lounge are full length folding glass doors that open onto a wrap-around balcony.  If ever proof was needed that this is an old building, this was it.  Way back when, such balconies would have been the main source of ventilation for what used to be an upper class Chinese private residence.

The balcony wraps around the intersection of Prince Edward Road West and "The Ladies Market". The noise is a cacophony, but the entire balcony is shielded by a canopy and fencing, so privacy is guaranteed. People go out there to smoke, there's comfortable seating, nudity is tolerated and apparently, so is action - at least so said the staff member with a wink.

Unlike some saunas in town, this place is spotless.

What about the facilities? Wait for the next post you dumb fuck.

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Colony Sauna 3

2nd Floor, 177 Prince Edward Road West
Kowloon
Hong Kong
Tel: 3486 1342
MTR: Prince Edward Station, Exit B1

Open 24 hours
Web: http://203.86.167.152/ads/Colony/


View Larger Map

Colony Sauna is owned by the same company that owns Chaps sauna in North Point. Betcha didn't know that.

Well fags, the mantra is as follows:

Colony Sauna is located on the South side of Prince Edward Road West, a couple of minutes walk ,eastwards, from the intersection of Nathan Road and Prince Edward Road West.

This is Mongkok  It is absolutely pukka and authentic Very Rich Megacity, as local as local gets.  It's loud, raucous, the roar of the street and flyover traffic is deafening, the pollution will choke, the crowds are disorientating, the buildings old and non-descript, the sensory overload is something else - hey......isn't that pretty much Very Rich Megacity everywhere?  No wonder it's soooooooooo much fun......

And the tourists hang out here too.... just outside Colony Sauna is the famous "Ladies Street" (actually the North end of Fa Yuen Street). Then there's Tung Choi Street where all the sports shops are (frequented by locals and tourists) and a little further east along Prince Edward Road West is the Flower Market and the Bird Market.

Hey, hey fags it's all happening right here in Mongkok.


Getting There

1.  Take the MTR to Prince Edward and head towards Exit B1.  Look for the words, "Mongkok Police Station".

2.  Exit B1 emerges facing Nathan Road.  It is in fact on the intersection of Nathan Road and Prince Edward Road West.  On emerging, immediately face LEFT and walk a few paces to the pedestrian crossing located UNDER the flyover that runs directly above Prince Edward Road West.

3.  That pedestrian crossing faces a Chinese food shop called, "Taipei" as well as the Standard Chartered Bank, recognizable by it's blue and green logo.  If they're not recognizable, the fag is fucked.

4.  When the pedestrian light turns green, cross the street and on reaching "Taipei" immediately face LEFT.  The fag is now on the SOUTH SIDE of Prince Edward Road West.

5.  Now walk straight, past the Standard Chartered Bank.  There are a variety of shops selling clothes, shoes, all tacky and forgettable.

6.  Keep walking straight and the first cross street will be Sai Yeung Choi Street North. Cross it and walk straight.  The next cross street will be Tung Choi Street.  The name may not be visible, just take FuelMix's word for it. 

7.  Continue walking straight across Tung Choi Street and while walking, there will be a small outdoor seating area with some greenery, on your right, and a bus stop, on your left.

8.  Pay attention fags.  This is the first clue that you're nearly at Colony Sauna.

KEEP WALKING IN A STRAIGHT LINE BECAUSE THE NEXT THING ON YOUR RIGHT, WILL BE THE NORTH END OF FA YUEN STREET ("THE LADIES MARKET")- A SEMI-PEDESTRIAN PRECINCT - BUT THE STREET NAME WON'T BE MARKED.  IT CAN EASILY BE SPOTTED BY THE SHOPS AND STALLS SELLING CLOTHES, BRAS, PANTIES, STOCKINGS - AND ALSO BY THE PUSSIES AND TOURISTS STOCKING UP ON SUCH SHIT.

9.  Continue walking in a STRAIGHT LINE for a few more paces and LOOK UP.  There is a hair salon called Zing with a ludicrously orange sign saying that it's on the 1st Floor. That sign points to a small entrance in a walk-up old building that is 177 Prince Edward Road West.

THAT'S THE ONE YOU WANT !!!

10.  Clamber up the stairs (the floor tiles are white) and on the way up there is a row of mailboxes with Colony's name on one of them.  Zing is on the 1st Floor.  Then the stairs change colour to a dark green paint and they creak.  Climb them and get to the 2nd Floor.  There's a dark brown door with the name "Colony" on it.

If it's done right, the whole walk from Exit B1 only takes about 3 minutes.

Get buzzed in and pay coin of HK$138.00

Decor? Layout? Facilities? Clientele?

Come back and read Colony Sauna 4, 5 and  6, to be uploaded shortly.

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Access & Negress

"Coloured" TV's most famous mouth sees things in black and white to preserve the colour purple of her assumed regality.

A new book that attempted to get behind the public persona discovered that, like FuelMix, She is prone to refer to herself in the third person.  The book is gaining notoriety not so much for its content, but for the wall of silence from the talking heads of the major TV networks in God's Own Country fearful of offending Her.

It's truly pathetic on several levels. So what if the book portrays Her in less than flattering terms? Or presents Her as a master opportunist alleged to have manipulated the story of Her origins? The author may have forgotten that many politicians and heads of state did exactly the same thing in order to create a cult following who would hang onto their every word.  Heck, there's even a controversy swirling right now about President Mutt* 44's true place of birth.

The delineation of privacy by public personas necessitates pretty strong action - like confidentiality agreements that run forever, running to court, paying off those who might talk, outright intimidation against those who just can't take a hint,  managed press conferences, stints in rehab. Is it a dirty business? Probably, but it's been done for eons.  And there's plenty of movie stars, sports legends, corporate execs, scummy politicians, talk show hosts and other wannabes doing it - or probably ruing the fact they didn't think of something earlier.

For a country that shrieks long and hard about freedoms in the Home of the Brave, to see some of the highest paid TV farts zip up and curl up in a foetal position to avoid publicizing the book about Her, is not only an indictment of their personal cowardice, but a reflection that the "free press" which they tout is anything but.

*Mutt = his own word to describe himself.

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

FuelMix &The I-Phone

From his web stats, FuelMix has noticed several readers in Very Rich Megacity accessing the gay sauna reviews (and nothing else) via their I-Phones. That's interesting because the timing of their access (afternoons and evenings), could imply that they're making plans to hit a sauna after work or, they're already there and doing a real time comparison with FuelMix's reviews.

Either way that's perfect. Just perfect. That's exactly what the sauna reviews were designed for.  In writing those reviews, FuelMix was heavily influenced by Faith Popcorn's seminal book written in the mid-1990s, entitled "Clicking".  In it, she identified Millennial Trends, one of which was "The Vigilante Consumer".  That book is even more relevant now than it was then - particularly when it comes to Fagland.

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Alexander Sauna 5

1st Floor, Wing Cheong Building
404 Reclamation Street
Mong Kok
Kowloon
Hong Kong
MTR: Mong Kok Station, Exit E 1 

Tel: 2148 0400


View Larger Map

A reader supplemented FuelMix's reviews of Alexander as follows:

I found that Alexander Sauna in Mongkok is probably the most consistently busy sauna currently operating in HK. I checked it out at various times on various days of the week and weekend, and it doesn't ever seem to slow down. In fact, the later it gets, the more people keep streaming in (especially on weekend nights).

And one thing I don't think you mentioned in your review is that in the lounge, you can order either a bowl of noodles or a toast sandwich. A lot of locals were taking advantage of this little bonus (it's included in the entry fee) but no foreigners that I could see. And I have to say, the noodles weren't bad at all. Plus I greatly appreciated the soft drink and hot drink dispensers. (The hot chocolate there was strangely addictive.) It's these little touches that made Alexander a nice place to revisit.

FuelMix says:  You're right.  It is consistently busy.  Apparently they don't tell the foreigners that a bowl of noodles is included in the entry fee.  FuelMix went there to be eaten anyways...........either way a fag got to suck on something. Thanks for the supplemental comments.

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Gemini 5

7th Floor, Hyde Centre
221 - 226 Gloucester Road
Causeway Bay
Hong Kong
MTR: Causeway Bay Station, Exit C

Tel: 2575 3445 or 64325900
Web: http://www.gemini-hk.com/index.html

A reader sent in his impressions of Gemini :

Visited this place on a Thursday evening 7pm onwards. Not very busy even at this hour, maybe about 6 - 7 people.


Your descriptions are spot on; I want to add that the steam room is more like a partition with a steam machine inside. It's never warm enough to enjoy the steam (well, there wasn't much else to enjoy). The shower inside lowers the temperature further. 

The view isn't that spectacular and the picture on their website is misleading (should a report be filed with the Consumer Council?), maybe they are taking a leaf out of HK Property Developers' book.

The dark area is frankly a bit sad and there were regular waves of cooking smell presumably from kitchens above or below, being brought in by the reversely mounted extractor fans.  I guess at least this smell is better than stale sperm but judging from the people flow they don't have to worry about that too much.

FuelMix says:  Agree that the pic on their website is misleading.  The place could have been so much more. It doesn't seem to be generating a public buzz notwithstanding the much vaunted but underwhelming harbour view. Sorry to hear about the cooking smell - but that may have been their way of letting you know that the place was "hot".  Thanks for the feedback.

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Gay Sauna Review

With the popularity of FuelMix's gay sauna reviews in Very Rich Megacity and to make it easier for readers to find a particular sauna (rather than reading through so many posts), FuelMix has separately indexed each gay sauna.

FuelMix also noticed that Google's internal search engine within the blog is crap.  Hell, even he couldn't find what he'd written on a particular sauna and thought, "WTF...?"

Each gay sauna reviewed is under the Labels section of the blog. This can be accessed by scrolling down the Right Hand side of the blog. The sauna name has the suffix "HKG"

This should make it easier for readers to follow updates on a particular sauna (and theoretically, should also make it easier for Google's internal blog search to throw up the sauna that a fag is looking for).

Stay tuned for more sauna reviews.........

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Towel Club 5

3/F Amber Commercial Building
70 - 74 Morrison Hill Road
Causeway Bay
Hong Kong
MTR: Causeway Bay Station, Exit A

Tel: 2575 6730

FuelMix dropped in to check out the 6pm Saturday Nude Nites at Towel Club. After 6pm, no towels are permitted in the Dark Area where the private play rooms are.

Honestly, FuelMix had a blast. His hot features, muscular bod and confident charisma ensured a steady stream of attention.  But here's the nitty gritty:

1. The guys there are more buffed and built then the ones coming in on weekdays - and there are more of them.  Notice that FuelMix said buffed and built - he didn't say they were more attractive. There's no shortage of ugly muscle dudes in the Dark Rooms of the world.

2.  There's tons of Stand & Model. The attitude of the buffed chinks was stratospheric (the white's didn't have an attitude - the place is no longer a colony).  If the chinks lowered their attitude too quickly, the Dark Room would de-pressurize and oxygen masks would drop from the ceiling.

3.  On Saturdays, Towel Club is open overnight. When FuelMix was there, Nude Nite was hopping between 6pm and 10:30pm. Then the place cleared out. Fast. Either the fags were going home for dinner, or meeting others of their species at the bars.  Since FuelMix didn't stay overnight he's curious to know what the overnight weekend scene at Towel Club is like.

4.  If a fag wants to score on Nude Nites in Towel Club, be aggressive. It cuts through Stand & Model like detergent and sends its practitioners into therapy.

5.  Since most of the action is in the Dark Room, very little will be happening in the steam room or in the hot tub.

6.  Wanna use both your heads in the Dark Room on Nude Nite? Do what FuelMix did. Grab a room and a sexy wingman, turn on the light real bright, put on a show with the wingman, (having a hot bod helps) all the guys gather around, you get your pick of ogling hunk, more join in....PAAARTY !!

7. (Kinda fazed why the chink fags never thought of that. Christ, it's NUDE Nite, they're standing around with their hands covering their bush).


2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

For The Record

A reader wrote in taking issue with FuelMix about his post entitled The Fog. In it, FuelMix reiterated his policy of declining social invitations from his readers. The reader pointed out that he had already met FuelMix.

He's probably right.

When the blog appeared 4 years ago, FuelMix personally introduced himself as the author. Read any blogging manual and it recommends that is exactly what a neophyte blogger should do. As FuelMix recalls, the reaction to the blog was at best mixed, at worst hostile. The blog was - and still is - completely different to mainstream gay trash.

As the quality of the writing became apparent, the blog took off internationally. It had nothing to do with FuelMix being there or introducing himself to anyone.

Here's an analogy. When a business owner first starts up, its founder is chief cook, bottle washer and PR man. When the business takes off, the founder removes himself from the other functions to concentrate on policy and direction.

Those who are criticizing FuelMix for now declining to meet his readers when he had done so in the past, have missed the point about the evolution of a blog's trajectory. It was never about the writer. It's about the storyline, the ability to observe and the ability to make a strong point. That's why the global readership keeps coming back.

Several financial bloggers with a huge global audience operate under pseudonyms. Do some people know their identity? Of course they do. But they respect the distinction between the person and the alter ego to allow the quality of the information to come through. It's the same with this blog.

FuelMix is pleased to be remembered by those with whom he might have shared drinks and fundamental disagreements about the gay lifestyle. But with a current global audience of 17,765 (as at 7 April 2010) exactly how his FuelMix supposed to make the time to Meet N' Greet any number of those readers over dinner or coffee? And still find time to hunt storylines? Should he first ask to see their stats and choose only the hot ones? If that's the case, shouldn't the blog only be available to the hot guys instead of being accessible to everyone?

With all due respect, given the blog's growth there is nothing irregular at all in ending a policy (which only lasted the first few months) of personally meeting readers.

2010 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Links ?

Hey fags, have you checked out the Links List in this blog?  They're all high quality non-porn gay links plus other stuff.

If a reader has a high quality (non-porn) gay link - or gay friendly link- send it along to fuelinjectedmale@live.hk