The Power Of No

Arriving for his evening class at the downtown campus of the University of Fag Bar (pending accreditation), FuelMix was accosted by a fat, white, middle-aged English fag who gushed that FuelMix must be spending serious time in the gym, what with all that muscular definition. Fag was particularly impressed with FuelMix’s chest and abs, proceeding to make semi-serious conversation about FuelMix’s work out routine.

Given that the fag was in such lousy shape and was obviously looking to push his luck (as well as attempting to rub his knees against FuelMix’s thighs) it was hardly likely that FuelMix would spill the beans on his highly effective gym routine. Fag sighed at length that he was too tired and busy after work to hit the gym. And besides, at middle age, it only made sense to walk on the treadmill. FuelMix knew better than to argue.

Fag continued to pester FuelMix with contrived questions about his physique and his favourite exercises in the gym. At various times, fag would gently stroke some part of FuelMix’s anatomy asking which exercises would benefit them. It was obvious that fag and his hand were gently emigrating to FuelMix’s crotch.

FuelMix, not known for his propensity to suffer fools, decided he’d had enough and informed the fag that he was going to bed.

“Alone?” squealed the fag, wide-eyed.

“Yes” said FuelMix, “that’s how I prefer it”

“Aren’t you going to invite me back for a coffee?” clamoured the fag coyly.

“No, why?” enquired FuelMix

“Because I’ve spent such a long time talking to you” cooed the fag in an oleaginous tone

“And I’ve spent such a long time talking to you too” responded FuelMix tartly, “that’s why I’m tired”.

“But I could rub your back or something, you know, soothe those gym-burned muscles of yours” pestered the fag.

“No thanks” said FuelMix politely.

“What a bloody waste of my time!” hissed the fag, “and after all that effort, is that all you can say?”

“Which part of ‘No’ don’t you understand?” said FuelMix, before he swivelled off the bar stool and left.

(FuelMix was subsequently told that the fag proceeded to bad-mouth FuelMix to his acquaintainces)

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