Talking To Adam 4

Put it this way........I'm between 18 and 21, so I'm certainly legal age. Technically, you could call me a twink. I finished High School and I've just started college.  My English is pretty good, as you can tell and I'm proud of that.  It opens doors for me............particularly sexually.  So I keep practising it a lot.

Family-wise, my life is shit. My parents divorced.  My Dad hates my guts and I hate his. Even from an early age, he'd give more attention to my brothers and sisters and just ignore me.  When he did look at me, it was just to point and say, "you're so queer.......you must be retarded......go to hell."  We never connected at any level.  I didn't have to come out to my Dad - he already knew and hated me for it. I don't remember getting guidance from him in any way. I got that from an older sibling who took pity on me.  So I studied hard to get through High School and into college.

I'm glad my parents divorced.  My Mom knows about me.  She just went really quiet when I told her sometime ago.  Our relationship is OK.  I come and go as I please.

Growing up as a gay kid at home with a totally hostile Dad, was really bad.  He'd actually say it to my face that I should just stay outside.  Considering I was a kid who didn't have any money, I felt helpless and unwanted.  The only thing I had going for me was my looks.  My friends at school used to say I should be a model, but I started to get other ideas.............

I knew I was pretty good looking, I knew I was gay, I knew I could speak much better English than the other local guys, I didn't have any money and I didn't have a home that felt like a home.  It was an easy decision for me to cash in on my looks.  I started sleeping around with older white guys when I was in  high school.  Yeah.......I was that young and I didn't care that I was well below legal age.  

How easy was it?  I'd just go online, say I was a young guy looking for a much older white guy.  Sooner or later some older white guy would start a private conversation.  I'd say that I was a student looking to learn about life.  Not one of the white guys online tried to talk me out of it.  They'd get really excited about meeting up. Those were the early days of the internet and chat rooms. There weren't any monitors or administrators and that kinda control stuff to keep young kids off. Maybe there should have been.

When we did meet and they saw how young I was, for some reason, that just got them more excited.  Even meeting me face to face, not a single one of those older white guys told me to go home and wait till I was legal age.  Asking them for money was much easier than I thought.  And they'd pay me just to shut me up.  I discovered it was a way to get cash and  attention.  I always got the impression that these older white guys had done this before.  I'd see some of them several times a month and walk away with cash that I could buy clothes and stuff with.  I like dressing up and looking like a model.

As I got better at it, I started to steal from them when they were sleeping.  They were much older than me so they'd fall asleep quickly after sex. I'd have a shower, get dressed, steal cash from them, leave them my number and leave.

You know what the joke was......? Either they didn't fuckin' care or they didn't know, or they were too scared to confront me because of my age.........and they had my phone number which they'd use to arrange another meeting..............what a laugh !! I had several older white guys from whom I was getting money out of twice at each encounter................one for my "services" and one from theft. I think I had a lot of money for a kid of my age.  

One time I went on holiday to Thailand with an older white guy.  He paid for everything.  Since it was a long weekend, I just told my parents that my school friends and I were going for a trip. It was easier than I thought.  I had enough cash anyway so luckily, I took some with me.

We got to Thailand and I got a nasty shock.  The older white guy had arranged with other older white guys to get some Thai boys.  Basically I was just one of many being gathered for an orgy or being passed around for 3 days.  There were drugs there too.

I can't explain it.............for the first time, I got really frightened. I told the older white guy I didn't like this idea. He got very nasty with me and told me that I owed him this since I was his "regular". He was abusive and pretty threatening saying that he could blackmail me or report me to the Thai police and stop me from leaving the country.  I hadn't seen this side of him before.

I freaked out and started crying. He didn't give a damn and started playing with the Thai guys. The drugs were being passed around. I ran out of the room, back to our hotel room, grabbed my passport (the older white guy had the air tickets), my wallet and my clothes and rushed  down to the hotel Reception.  I told them I had a family emergency and had to leave Thailand immediately. The put me in touch with a travel agent downtown and helped me change money from Hong Kong Dollars into Baht to pay for the ticket. 

I went down to the travel agent, picked up the ticket and took a taxi to the airport. I had to wait a couple of hours for the flight. I was terrified that the older white guys had said something to the Thai police to stop me from leaving.

I got back to Hong Kong safely and told my parents I had food poisoning and wanted to come home.

That incident was a wake-up call for me. I still can't explain why I got frightened.  Maybe it was the realization that I didn't have the power or the looks that I thought I had. The older white guy came back to Hong Kong a few days later and left threatening messages on my voicemail.  I never saw him again.

I lied a lot to my parents.  That's the price you pay when you don't have a family life.  Sometimes I look back and feel a little sad about how much I lied and deceived them.

I still see older white guys, but that incident in Thailand makes me see them in a whole different way. Sometimes, I'll charge them for my "services", other times not. I'm much more careful around them, but they're still easy for me to pick up, even on the street.

Even though I'm just a college student, I look around and feel old when I see High School kids now. They really do know a lot more about sex much earlier.  It's true..............Sometimes I wonder how the gay ones will turn out..........hustling, sex, lies and theft was a real thrill...............and then some old guy took me on "holiday" and lied to me.

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