Gemini 4

7th Floor, Hyde Centre
221 - 226 Gloucester Road
Causeway Bay
Hong Kong
MTR: Causeway Bay Station, Exit C

Tel: 2575 3445 or 64325900
Web: http://www.gemini-hk.com/index.html
Open: 24 hours

The Decor

Let's start off by being polite: The apparent colour scheme is orange, brown and grey. The designer attempted to be trendy and then lost interest. The effect is that the decor is a hybrid of a very dimly lit frou-frou  salon and a warehouse.  Why else would the lockers be in 3 separate places and the first thing to hit the eyes on entry are the 2 internally partitioned utility rooms painted in light grey?

The answer is simple.  The lighting is so appallingly dim that they had to paint the 2 Utility Rooms light grey to prevent fags from crashing into them.

The initial impression is just terrible. The incredibly dim lighting in the main Locker Room is punctuated by very bright spotlights. Yet the full length mirror (itself the door to another utility room) located next to the sink has no lighting to speak of.  Great.....a customer can't see what he looks like when he gets in and worse, can't see what he looks like before he leaves.  A sinking feeling sets in really quickly.  It's absolutely imperative that the Locker Room area be brightly lit, particularly the area near the front door.

In fairness the lockers near the Lounge and around the corner near the entrance to the showers are better lit.


The Layout 

The key to understanding Gemini's layout is to start with the Locker Room and Think of the letter "T".  2 parallel corridors form the vertical, and 2 parallel corridors form the horizonal.  Remember that fags, 'coz the place is so stupidly designed, the pissed-off level in the Dark Areas goes right off the scale.

The operative word here is "narrow".  The fag will get the first hint of it as he's undressing and spies the solitary computer terminal adjacent to a really narrow passageway. That is the first vertical of the "T".  The pitch dark passageway - which for some bizarre reason has a rough wall surface that is sheer agony to naked skin - leads all the way into an even darker play space with a vinyl bench.  FuelMix discovered that conclusion when he inadvertently leaned against what he assumed was a wooden partition, but which was actually a flapping wooden panel, hinged on the top surface, which gave way and FuelMix literally fell into the space.

The second vertical of the "T" also starts from the Locker Room, passes the Lounge and through a curtain wall into the Dark Area. Turn left and there is another play space with a vinyl bench and a miniscule porn screen which is so glaringly bright that it will blind your ability to see in the darkness.

And Darkness is what Gemini is all about.  The 2 parallel corridors that form the horizontal of the "T" are actually a circuit with the private playrooms painted in light grey on either side. The mats are on the floor and there's the usual condiments of lube and condoms.

But in prime examples of stupidity:
(a) the light switches in the playrooms are  BEHIND the doors (and some didn't work);
(b) the playrooms in the top horizontal corridor of the "T" are raised off the floor.  But the fag won't know that 'COZ IT'S SO FUCKIN' DARK - BUT HE'LL FIND OUT WHEN HE BRUISES HIS SHINS AND HIS KNEES WHEN HE TRIES TO ENTER THEM;
(c) the doors of the playrooms in (b) have a gap of about 5 inches off the floor.  When occupied, they provide some basic ambient lighting in the corridor but.........
(d) a gap of 5 inches means fags can and will crouch on the floor to ogle what's going on inside the room.



The Wet Area - The View !! The View!!

Parallel to the TV Lounge is the Wet Area.  It's easy to spot because of the large plate glass windows which are actually one-way mirrors. It's not easy to see in but easy to see out of them. To enter the Wet Area, a fag can use the door near the TV or the door near the Lockers.

The hype on the Gemini website is the harbour view - and it can only be seen in a curiously underwhelming fashion from the Wet Area.  The building's location on Gloucester Road means that a network of flyovers is just outside and a number of other buildings are across the street.

Secondly, 7th floor ain't that high for a spectacular harbour view.

Thirdly, the vista is mainly Tsim Sha Tsui East - the flattest part of the Kowloon skyline.

The jacuzzi sits like a giant, multi-lit water coffin, raised high off the floor.  It's functional enough for about 8 people to play in, but not only does it obscure the harbour view on entering the Wet Area, but the initial impression on entering the Wet Area is that of a liquid funeral home.

The showers are positioned along the walls with the one-way mirror looking into the Lounge. They are single head showers and lack the double cock-level jets that FuelMix really likes.  For some obscure reason, the showers are placed behind a dark plastic sheet that hangs like the curtain to the entrance of a Japanese restaurant.  The logic for it isn't clear, but it just adds to the gloom of the Wet Area.


Adjacent to the jacuzzi and showers are 3 toilets behind semi-translucent glass doors.  They're big enough for 2 people so....watersports fans take note.

Beyond the jacuzzi, in a glass enclosure is the Steam Room.  This is quite large and has a harbour view, together with a shower head and a speaker that blasts Canto-pop.  There's a central plinth on which the fag can sit or sprawl and unlike other gay saunas, this steam room has enough light to see people. The disco-like jacuzzi and the steam room are the only places where a fag can check another fag out clearly (excluding the Lounge where, as usual, bananas were on offer).


The Clientele


According to the staff the fags are 25 and up; and that the best times to come are Fridays from about 4pm onwards and Saturdays all days.  When FuelMix was there, it was mainly skinny chink twinks and a handful of 30 something whites.  However, even late in the evening on a weekday, customers were still coming in.  Bear that in mind since other saunas around town empty around 7pm or 9ish on weekdays.

Would FuelMix Go Back?

In the interests of accuracy and fairness, FuelMix reviews each sauna twice.  So **sigh** at some point, he will have to go back - particularly as this is a recently opened joint.

Truth be told, he's not looking forward to it. Gemini made a lousy first impression.

Any fag out there is welcome to contribute their feedback on Gemini and FuelMix will publish it.

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