Central Escalator 6

2nd Floor, Cheung Hing Commercial Building, 

37 Cochrane Street,

Central, 

Hong Kong

MTR: Central or Hong Kong Station
 

Tel: 2581 9951

Easy way to find it: above 7 Eleven and opposite Park N Shop supermarket.


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Same tired clutch of corporate white trash (20s to 60s - remember to count the warts and moles as they walk by) and the yellow poodles that follow them around.

And vice versa.

The international buffet of men is getting stale - as is the internal air quality in a cramped space thanks to fags sucking on nicotine, despite the smoking ban that's now in force.

Chink fags find the place fascinating, particularly those who've experienced rejection from white fags in Western saunas. Here, they get a warmer welcome from the local and visiting whites plus a chance to practice their English.

Some Western tourists, anticipating a larger space and raunchier action, wander around looking bemused, then leave pretty quickly or grimly sit in a corner munching bananas, racking up some time to justify the entrance fee.

Still, every church has its congregation. (Although at this joint, don't hold your breath waiting for a religious experience - and when you do inhale, think of all the benefits of Passive Smoking).

Dem Niggas Again

According to a BBC report for 20 July 2009, quoting the medical journal, the Lancet, HIV rates amongst gay niggas in sub-Saharan Africa is 10 times higher than the general male population.

The report said that prejudice towards nigga fags was leading to isolation and harassment. In turn, it resulted in risky sexual practices.

Consider the above statement for a moment. What it means is that nigga fags are blaming somebody else's view of them for their high infection rates. Sorry niggas. FuelMix doesn't buy that one. Even if there is a cultural, political and religious unwillingness in Sub-Saharan Africa to accept nigga fags as equal members of society, where does that take away the individual's obligation - and power - to control his own body?

Granted, ignorance may play a role too. Apparently, the report stated that while nigga fags might be married with kids and were aware of HIV/AIDS contracted from pussy, they were unaware of the risks coming from men. Again, that seems curious considering that these nigga fags were prone to be intravenous drug users (yeah that's real healthy), have multiple sex partners and work in the sex trade.

FuelMix is reminded of a park here in Very Rich Megacity, frequented by African niggas from Ghana and Nigeria. They stay till the midnight closing time, clustered in groups, periodically buying hashish from Pakistanis smuggling it in from Afghanistan. They're always on the lookout for sex - whether from Filipina women (whom they'll fuck for free) or, chink and white fags with a nigga fetish (whom they'll charge).

It appears that niggas are quite accomplished negotiating cash for cock whilst in a foreign city, but incapable of negotiating cock to save their life whilst in their own countries.

Ironic.

© 2009 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

HUNK 2

Oh dear, oh dear. It's Friday nite, FuelMix is at Hunk writing this and there's fuck all happening here, just after 7:40pm. It's been a year since FuelMix was at this place and an update seemed in order.

There's about 16 guys here, all GAMs, in total silence - and very sullen to the point of appearing resentful. FuelMix's very muscled body is getting closely looked at. Waaay too much attitude from these GAMs. The doorbell is ringing and guys are coming in, so it's obviously peak period, what with after work, end of the week and all that.

But man....their attitude sucks. And so does this place. It's run by the same crowd who run ABC, Gateway and Alexander (all of which have been reviewed in this blog). Physically, this place is the shabbiest to look at and the darkest. The Locker area is so outrageously dim, it's nearly impossible to read the numbers, pack your things properly or even look at yourself in the mirror.

FuelMix is rapidly taking a correspondingly dim view of this joint.

Update:

It's past 10pm. There's a total of 30 GAMs here now and Zero Action. They're burning a ton of calories walking around, monastically silent with a rancid attitude. FuelMix has been informed by a GAM patron (who politely asked if he could kiss FuelMix's bod) that this place is Attitude Central, utterly notorious for a dead vibe.

Seems an expensive way of eating a banana and watching a flat screen TV.

Not only that, said the patron, but apparently the same crowd circulates through ABC and Gateway. Y'all have been warned.

FuelMix is outta here. For good.

© 2009 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Alexander Sauna 3

 1st Floor, Wing Cheong Building
404 Reclamation Street
Mong Kok
Kowloon
Hong Kong
MTR: Mong Kok Station, Exit E 1 

Open 24 hours
Tel: 2148 0400


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Pros

1. Open 24 hours
2. Very close to MTR.
3. Discreet location. Ideal for:
(1) deeply closeted cases uncomfortable with saunas in Central, Wanchai, Causeway Bay or Tsim Sha Tsui;
(2) miserably married fags, delusional cocksucking str8s;
(3) hot dudes looking for an alternative venue;.
4. Discreet location - yet next to major luxury hotel and behind major shopping area. Potential for visiting tourists, businessmen and tricks from the mall.
5. Very clean.
6. Large number of good sized playrooms, including room with a sling and a couple of group rooms.
7. Good sized video screens showing white and Asian gay porn.


Cons

1. Pricey.
2. Bad lighting in Wet Area.
3. Distorting mirrors in playrooms.
4. Lots of “stand and model”
5. Limited seating
5. Ugly to mediocre GAMs


Verdict

OK for a group of pre-vetted hot guys guaranteed action with each other or, a buddy with whom you’d show up and fuck.

Otherwise, you could be wasting your time admiring the décor.

© 2009 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Alexander Sauna 2

1st Floor, Wing Cheong Building
404 Reclamation Street
Mong Kok
Kowloon
Hong Kong
MTR: Mong Kok Station, Exit E 1 

Open 24 hours
Tel: 2148 0400


View Larger Map

The sauna is open 24 hours and is owned by the guys who own ABC, Gateway and Hunk (all of which have been reviewed in this blog).

Like those saunas, Alexander has an interesting décor, layout and is extremely clean.

Pay your coin and entry is given to the Locker Rooms. Pretty standard stuff.

The Wet Area

Just off the Locker Room is a sliding door, behind which is a large Wet Area with showers, toilets, a very large tepid water stone Jacuzzi with porn screen and a rain shower (nice touch), dry sauna and a steam room.

The showers have twin jets – one at cock level and one overheard. Both are individually adjustable. Some showers have circular pony walls to allow showering with a buddy.

The dry sauna is pretty standard. The steam room is intense and also has circular partitions for group or buddy action. There’s also a shower in the steam room.

The lighting in the Wet Area is appalling. It consists of fibre optic-type strands of strobe lights that change red, green, blue and white. Massively irritating and violates FuelMix’s cardinal rule – that a dude must be well lit in the shower area in order to be checked out for potential action.

Towel changes are available at no charge.


The Lounge

Follow the corridor out of the Locker Room (past the vertical sun tanning booth). The lounge has a large flat screen TV, magazines in Chinese, 2 free computers and a bar area to eat the complimentary snacks of crackers and bananas. There are also complimentary vending machines for soda pop, tea and coffee.

Seating in the lounge is on a wide Chinese style divan on which 4 people can recline, propped up by cushions. If you can’t get on, forget it. There’s no where else to sit – except the bench in the Locker Room.


Dark Room / Playrooms

Go through the Lounge and pull back the curtains. This is the quasi-maze, darkroom and playrooms all in one. It’s a partitioned space, fairly roomy, enough circulating space and very dark.

There are a large number of clean, good sized private playrooms, individually lit, with mattress pads on the floor. Fortunately, the switches are easy to find and each room has the usual condom /lube/ tissue stuff. Some of these rooms have those idiot fairground mirrors that distort the reflection so be warned. A major turnoff.

There are also a couple of large group rooms with porn TV for the sociable and the exhibitionists, plus a room with a sling.


Comment

This sauna opened a few months ago and is the newest on the scene. The overwhelming impression is that it is underused at present. Part of the problem may be that the clientele are GAMs who are neither muscular nor goodlooking. They come in different ages and sizes but they appear to be in the 20 to 30- something range. Perhaps at the moment, not that many people know of the place or how to get there even though they are advertising in local gay media.

FuelMix is prepared to keep an open mind and assume that since the place is open 24 hours, hotties might come and go at other times. The place has potential even though the vibe was boring.


For the conclusion, see Part 3

© 2009 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

Alexander Sauna 1

1st Floor, Wing Cheong Building
404 Reclamation Street
Mong Kok
Kowloon
Hong Kong
MTR: Mong Kok Station, Exit E 1

Tel: 2148 0400


View Larger Map

This sauna is located in a city block in the Mong Kok – Tai Kok Tsui area that was the subject of a major re-development and is now called the Langham Place Hotel. Mong Kok is a vibrant, utterly chaotic part of town, with a vibe all of its own. It’s not the prettiest part of town since many of the old building are pre-World War 2 or early 1950s. It is being steadily re-developed. To make matters more complicated, not all the buildings are numbered.

Getting To Alexander

1. Take the MTR to Mong Kok Station. Then look for Exit E 1. Be very careful. Exit E 1 lists (amongst others) Langham Place which is a major, multi-level shopping mall located in the block BEFORE the Langham Place Hotel.

2. You will need to come to Langham Place before you can even find the Langham Place Hotel. Got it?

3. When you emerge from Exit E 1, there is a short, but wide lane (nameless) that acts as a thoroughfare to the main cross-street, which is Portland Street. You’ll know you’re in that nameless lane if you see One Grand Tower to your left.

4. Walk to the end of the lane and look up across Portland Street. That’s the Langham Place shopping mall and it’s huge. You’re NOT going inside at all.

5. Now cross Portland Street towards the mall and then face left. Walk down Portland Street and if you’re smart, you’ll see the UA Cinemas on your right. Continue to the end of the block where Portland Street meets Shantung Street. Turn right at the corner and walk down Shantung Street.

6. The next cross street is Shanghai Street. Cross Shanghai Street and continue down Shantung Street.

7. The next cross street is Reclamation Street. That’s the street you want. Wing Cheong Building is on the corner of Shantung Street and Reclamation Street, sharply to your right. The building is next to (but separate from) the Langham Place Hotel.

8. If you’ve reached the right place, you’ll see a flight of stairs, with the bannister made out of rope. Alexander’s logo (see above) is at the foot of the stairs. Walk up to the first floor and turn LEFT. Ring the doorbell on the unmarked brown door and they’ll buzz you in.

Yeah fags, it’s complicated getting there, but it’s only a 5 minute walk from Exit E 1. COPY AND PRINT THESE FUCKIN' DIRECTIONS, COZ FUELMIX AIN'T GONNA SING THEM AGAIN.


How Much ?

Currently HK$ 130.00. That’s on the pricey side for a sauna in Very Rich Megacity.


So…What’s the 411 On The Place ?

Read Part 2.

© 2009 FuelMix All Rights Reserved

The New Nomads - Part 1

It’s a sign of the times.

First they came to the Orient as traders, then as greedy conquering colonials, then as (equally greedy) professional expatriates and now, as economic migrants. FuelMix says that white man is very good at bartering, brutalizing, bragging and begging.

And there’ll be a lot more of these pale faces looking to dip their paws in the Asian ricebowl. Things in the West will get plenty shitty before they get any better.

It’s a strange twist of irony watching these incoming whites shuffling dazed into the Asian humidity, utterly awed by the fast paced, slick modernity of Asia’s urban landscape. Sure, they’ll bitch about the heat, the crowds, the pollution. But in the next breath, they’ll say they’ve come “to seek new opportunities”, or “sample another culture for a while” or “explore their career options”. They overstay their tourist visas or frantically convert them into work permits. The expatriate community media stays quiet, preferring to concentrate on the club scene, the restaurants, how to get around, where to shop, where to live.

Yet, when non-whites, even professionals, head West, they’re described as “brown tide” or “yellow peril”. The media is riled and hysterical, politicians and union leaders are wheeled out demanding immigration controls, ultra-nationalist and far right parties see a spike in their fan base, the incoming ethnics are socially degraded and marginalized, derided as “opportunists” and “economic migrants”.

Just what the hell do you think you whites have become?

This tide of white detritus now heading towards the Orient, is great news for potato queens on E, V and Crack looking for drug fucked white dick while hallucinating about that grand entrance at the University of Fag Bar on the arm of a newly arrived, internationally ignorant, barely employable, white thing with a rumoured dong of death.

It’s bad news for those of us with any class, culture and equally impressive cocks.

Squirm in your seat if you have to. You know FuelMix is right.

© 2009 FuelMix All Rights Reserved (in the text only)
Copyright in the cartoon image vests in the cartoonist who created it. FuelMix is presently unable to identify the cartoonist.

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An hysterically funny advertising campaign for the Spiderman 3 movie.